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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 30, 2007 13:05:08 GMT
What this board needs, obviously, is more stories about teams in marginally supported sports, preferably run on a web-based system with the word "trick" in the title. So I present to you, the Pantfish Primates, the newest and sexiest Icy Sticks team in the world of Manager Zone! Trick. ManagerZoneTrick claims to offer a full 3d experience to your online mangler needs, in both football and icy sticks and, as we all know, EA's footy manager game was much worse better than FM, thanks to its deicision to go with mind-numbingly repetitive full 3D match highlights. So this will be fine, I'm sure. Appropriately, the ManagerZoneTrick game follows the formats of all the other [word]Trick efforts and replaced whatever bunch of cocks were sliding about on Wilkinson Sword Razor Blades nailed to big shoes with a collection of half-dead wastes of carbon, so the squad should be a jape. I haven't looked at it yet, but I'm excited about the option of giving people silly numbers. Woo!
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Post by Boony on Jan 30, 2007 13:09:26 GMT
So you've chosen Ice Hockey over cricket? Bah! Good luck with the primates. And the Primates.
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Post by coffers on Jan 30, 2007 13:12:52 GMT
They both use sticks and are both silly games, so I see no difference.
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Post by Boony on Jan 30, 2007 13:19:35 GMT
I don't understand, Coffers. If you like the imperial system because it confuses foreigners, then surely cricket is the logical sport to follow? Ice Hockey is indeed a sillly sport, though. The ball's to small to see, you can swim behind the goal, and the fights are just silly. Hang on, no - one of my favourite scenes in Swingers is the bit where Trent is playing some Sega hockey game with Sue, and makes Wayne Gretsky's head bleed. That's the best moment Ice Hockey has delivered to my life so far. edit: Check out scene 30
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Post by Narcizo on Jan 30, 2007 13:29:36 GMT
As much as I hate to agree with Monkeyboy, Ice Sticks is a load of bollocks. OFFICIAL.
Although Slapshot is always worth a drunken watch.
I don't know if I'm getting old or something but I had difficulty deciphering most of s1ugt's first post. Particularly this
Has he been talking to meej a lot recently.
Ha! Meej-a-lot. Meej's rap name.
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Post by coffers on Jan 30, 2007 13:30:23 GMT
I used to like cricket when I played it, I even didn't mind watching at times in those days either. The problem is I like participating more than I like watching. Unfortunately the participating days are over, that's more due to back injuries than age. With football I cana watch Middlesbrough because I was really involved with the club from early days, but I tend to find other games between neutral teams less interesting.
With my dodgy back, I'd probably find bowls and snooker difficult these days, because the constant bending would cause me pain not worth going through at the end of the day.
I still like angling though, you can sit down a lot to do that.
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Post by Narcizo on Jan 30, 2007 13:37:26 GMT
That's it Coffs. Play down the stereotyping that's been done about you. Bad backs? Angling?
Cricket is a good waster sport to watch. In fact it's like the waster bling of sport. Instead of conspicuous spending of money it's conspicuous spending of time. "Yeah I watched the whole Test Match series. Great" = I don't have anything else I have to do with my time. At all. And you, most probably, do.
Just a little theory of mine.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 30, 2007 13:40:33 GMT
PANTFISH PRIMATE PIRATES SQUAD LISTING[/b][/center][/font] I know nothing about this lot, so we'll go numerically, rather than by position. #2 Teddy Brooks21 years old and the game claims he's our joint most-valuable player, which is news to anyone who has watched him skate. He's fit and a reasonable keeper, but can't pass to save his life and his quickness leaves an unimaginable amount to be desired. In that he's rated a zero. His current form is also zero, which means he's nowhere near acheiving that zero speed. #3 Tod WaltonFor 23 years he's lived with the fact that his parents can't spell "Todd." The game values him about on par with a happy meal, but this may be because, like Teddy before him, his current form is a fat goose egg. Unlike Teddy he does have something going for him, as he's the team joint second-best passer and joint best shooter, so he'll be a starting forward on one of the lines. #9 Damian FairfaxYoung, quick, can skate and pass. What the fork is he doing on my team? Will be a starting winger on the front line, for about four minutes before his 1 stamina rating forces him to lie down and inhale an entire oxygen tank. #15 Brian FrostHe's called Frost and he's on ice! Hahahaha! Hahahahahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! #19 Kurt DalyA smart, strong player who's on the hot streak of his life, with a 9 rating for current form. Has below average abilities everywhere else and scores a zero for skating, which you'd imagine to be a slightly important skill for an Icy Sticks man. #23 Robin FurnissThere's a furnace and melted ice joke in there somewhere, but my sides still hurt from the whole Frost thing. On good form and can shoot, but doesn't offer much more. Luckily he doesn't have to with this team. #39 Reuben HamptonOne of nine players with a zero for current form, the 21 year old Hampton would actually be our best keeper otherwise. Won't get a sniff of a league game until he shows something in training other than his arse. #42 Caleb RyderHe can check, he's strong, he's our best skater and he can shoot! So it's a shame he's dumber than a bag of hammers. #45 Darius GroomGood puck control and can pass. The rest of his game is awful. Another icy sticks player who can't skate. #46 Garth MasonLike Groom he's good at a couple of things, this time passng and puck control. Wait, that's the same things. #47 Stewart HicksCan pass and sort of shoot, but will have to go out on the wing on one of the front lines where he won't see too much play, because the minute someone tries to check him, Stew will lie on the ice and start crying. #55 Zack Bridge Our starting keeper until fat Reuben's form improves. Bridge is a solid keeper but can do absolutely nothing else, so there's no doubt about his best position. #58 Lenny Jackson19 years old and a solid development project. Has power, but is still quick and agile on his skates and he can pass too and sort of shoot. Sadly he doesn't like contact and his puck control suffers because he's scared of getting hit. #59 Marc CheesmanPowerful brawler-type guy, which comes from growing up being called "Cheesman." Can shoot, but can't pass to save his life. Expected to head up the checking line, by standing on front of the opposition keeper and refusing to be moved. #63 Barrie WadhamDumb as a brick, quick as a sloth and fit as an obese Scotsman with asthma. I would put him on the transfer market, but if our plane crashes in the mounttains on the way back from a road game we can always eat him. #73 Reg WayReg. Bit of an odd name for an icy sticks player. Can skate, shoot and check, but "not too smart" is being generous and his current form is woeful. #80 Chaz BranchAnother reedy kid, "Leafy" Branch is quick and pass and has good control of the puck, but one defenceman throwing his weight around and Branch will fold like a set of sheets. #93 Caleb ClaytonTwo players called Caleb? What's up with that? This one is the third and final member of the team who can't skate. He is at least strong though, which is odd, as eight-and-a-half stone, he's the lightest player in the world. #95 Alex MeehanThe last of the players that we might actually make something out of. Something other than an ex-hockey player, that is. Can skate and has good puck control and can fill in in net if needs be. His passing, quickness and shooting are rubbish, so he has defenceman written all over him, which means he'll need to seriously bulk up in weight. Sadly, that's it. Even more sadly, they'll probably all have to play. Even those who'll just stagger onto the ice and fall over. First defeat coming tomorrow!
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Post by Boony on Jan 30, 2007 13:48:42 GMT
I don't know if I'm getting old or something but I had difficulty deciphering most of s1ugt's first post. Particularly this Has he been talking to meej a lot recently. I think I understood that, Nark. I've been spending too much time talking to s1ut recently.
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Post by coffers on Jan 30, 2007 13:54:48 GMT
That's it Coffs. Play down the stereotyping that's been done about you. Bad backs? Angling? Cricket is a good waster sport to watch. In fact it's like the waster bling of sport. Instead of conspicuous spending of money it's conspicuous spending of time. "Yeah I watched the whole Test Match series. Great" = I don't have anything else I have to do with my time. At all. And you, most probably, do. Just a little theory of mine. Agree about the cricket. As for the bad back, It was the reason I had to jack in playing football in 2005 at the tender age of 45. A MRI scan revealed that my number 5 Lumber vertibrae is rather loose due to it being Arthritic (goalkeeping and wicketkeeping can do that to you over the years). It kept me off work for 7 weeks, I could probably have strung out out for 7 months if I had wanted to. It was then that I discovered CM2 and that became my main participation sport. As for angling the match scene is very competitive, even when pleasure fishing, I treat it as a competition. It's not just about sitting around waiting for a bite, it's about finding and tempting the fish into a feeding frenzy even when they aren't interested.
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Post by elth on Jan 31, 2007 2:46:47 GMT
I'd give y'all the odds of s1ut sticking to this tale past 2 months but William Hill don't quote that high.
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2007 9:39:53 GMT
Nice taunt, Elth! :thumb:
GL with this short lived story, s1ut. have you found your next online game yet?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 31, 2007 10:15:38 GMT
I think you should buy the under on that two months. This now makes two Hattrick teams, the icy sticks, a budding rock career on Popomundo and 3-5 regularly played heroes/villains on CoH/V, plus two Madden franchises, a PES5 Masterleague and of course the wndoreful wrlod of GLoF.
My writing style may have degenerated from funny to duller than a fortnight in Bournemouth with Garth Crooks, but at least there's a lot of it.
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2007 10:23:47 GMT
:checkit:
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2007 10:30:14 GMT
A fair point well made.
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Post by Narcizo on Jan 31, 2007 12:01:11 GMT
I'd rather you cut down on all the sports related crap and tell us what's happening in the City of Heroes and/or Villains.
But that's probably just me.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 31, 2007 12:26:42 GMT
I'd rather you cut down on all the sports related crap and tell us what's happening in the City of Heroes and/or Villains. But that's probably just me. I could do that, depending on what sort of depth you want.
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2007 12:32:37 GMT
Minimal.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 31, 2007 12:36:10 GMT
It says "you want", not "moo want."
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Post by Narcizo on Jan 31, 2007 13:21:47 GMT
I want full comic strip action with Busiak-esque characterisation and plots. From when he was good*.
*Added to appease Meej as I've no doubt that a) he'll be reading this, and b) Busiak is no longer as good as he used to be™
Barring that a general rundown of what's what with the odd hum-rous screen shot would be alright.
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Post by Narcizo on Jan 31, 2007 13:23:44 GMT
Bugger! This has all just reminded me that I still haven't received Freedom Force vs The 3rd Reich. You'd have thought someone would have gotten it for me by now. I suppose as it's currently retailing for a mighty £5 I might just have to get it for myself. Except to make it worth the postage I'll have to buy a whole bunch of other stuff. Which I can't afford.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 31, 2007 14:20:08 GMT
What's what with CoH/V? Well, the H part just hit its second anniversary a while ago and celebrated the release of Issue 8, (I8), which brought with it the veteran reward scheme. This grants you new stuff, free, for each three months you've been subscribed to the game. Better news is that it doesn't work perfectly, so I opened my account in March 2004 and will hit two years in March 2006, even though there have been about four or five months inbetween where my account has been lapsed. Anyway, the basic gift items don't really make you outstandingly powerful or anything - the most useful thing, to be honest, is the respecs, with which you can reselect the powers that your hero has. Previously if you shafted the build of your character, or you took a power and then found out it was pants, or you wanted to go in a different direction, conceptually, then you had to go through a respec trial - a series of missions which granted you a respec at the end. There were a couple of problems with this - firstly, not everyone can sit down and put in two hours in one go to get through the mission series from start to end. Secondly and most famously, in game, is the respec-paradox : If your character is designed badly enough to require a respec, chances are you're not built well enough to complete the task required to get one. If it is built well enough to complete the task then chances are you don't really need one. I find the respecs useful because I like to build my "toons" one way for the lower game and then when they level up a bit, I want to refocus. At the lower levels you want a long chain of different attacks, so you've always got something to hit people with. At the higher levels, these attacks are rubbish, so you don't use them, but the only way to ditch them is to respec. Other Vet items are mostly to do with costume pieces - pieces that other people can't have until they hit the time requirement themselves - and things like "prestige sprints" - which are powers aside from the normal "run fast" option, that make you glowy when you're running. Just cosmetic stuff. The number of people in the world is slowly ticking back up from a lull in the autumn of last year, but because there are now two games, (Heroes/Villains), and two worlds, (Paragon city/Rogue Isles), this user base is split, (about 65/35 most nights), and so it can seem quite sparsely populated at times. For more "good" news, the Invention system is coming in I9, which will add the crafting system that Cryptic hope will pull in a lot more people as they can make unique stuff. Also, "Statesman" (lead designer Jake Emmert), finally figured out that the in-game base system he designed and proclaimed as the most original idea in any MMO (and his company's best idea ever), weren't being used because the rent system designed to make the players pay for the bases was the most stupid thing ever. Scientific studies suggest it was about 27 times more stupid than making Kevin Keegan the England manager. The rent was based on the amount of prestige earned by your Supergroup and so if you earned a lot of prestige but had a tiny base, you paid a lot of rent. If you earned a lot of prestige and spent it all on the base, you paid a lot of rent. And finally, (and here's the really stupid bit), if you earned prestige, spent it on the base and then eventually reached a point where you couldn't pay the rent anymore, you'd sell your base items to raise the money, but selling items didn't lower the amount of prestige you'd earned over your lifetime, so next month's rent wouldn't be less, even though you now had less stuff. Brilliant :thumb: They've changed it now so that the rent is based purely on the size of the plot you buy to stick your base in and the lowest plot size is rent free. So I might actually invest in a base now. I did get a PM from Statesman asking me to be more constructive when I said on the official forums that the rent system was "intensely stupid." That's the boring part out of the way. Maybe some screenies later on when I'm on my PC.
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2007 15:05:18 GMT
You know what happened last time offered anyone constructive critisism?
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2007 15:13:16 GMT
They invaded Poland?
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2007 15:19:45 GMT
:humb:
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