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Post by coffers on May 31, 2007 8:58:56 GMT
Largin is the way up, I tell's yers.
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Post by Moo on May 31, 2007 13:48:57 GMT
Nice write up, s1ut. It kept me entertained.
Until I read it.
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Post by coffers on May 31, 2007 15:28:08 GMT
Moo: IGFLITO!
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 1, 2007 6:32:34 GMT
do some work you canute. Would people prefer a one or two line summary? Right now I'm writing down what's happening as it happens, but could swap to "two blokes hit each other, this one fell over" if it's too long-winded?
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 1, 2007 7:07:33 GMT
I prefer the blow for blow account but only because it means more work for you.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 1, 2007 7:13:05 GMT
Hah.
Meanwhile, October scouting reports are done, save for Coffers, who gets the prettier fight report.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 1, 2007 7:28:15 GMT
And Coff's now has his fight report, so it's November orders time - lots of fighting going on this month which will give me even more opportunity to be wordy and dull for Moo. :thumb:
Coffers : Orders received.
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Post by Moo on Jun 1, 2007 8:06:45 GMT
Stoo - I think I would prefer the long winded approach, because it does give you more info.
And my apologies for upsetting you with my childish comments yesterday. It was unlike me, I know.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 1, 2007 8:09:50 GMT
That's ok Moo, you're under a lot of pressure.
Imagining the HR lass covered in butter.
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Post by Moo on Jun 1, 2007 8:18:08 GMT
That would involve me saying "I can't believe it's not butter!" and tasting it, just in case.
She's a tall lass as well, it'll take a lot of butter. However, I may need an artery replacement operation afterwards as the cholesterol will be horrific.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 12:34:40 GMT
Regional LightweightLloyd Mondon (stu) -v- Terry Sain The BBBBBBG begin their route to glory with lightweight Lloyd Mondon who seems to have misread the memo to start, as he starts off slowly and probably loses the first round, before responding well to having me threaten to breka his legs and winning the second. Clearly threatening people in the breaks is the way to go, because Mondon's first punch of the third round is the beginning of the end for Sain, who falls over for 8. He gets up but is battered for the rest of the round and eventually the ref steps in and stops the fight. Winner : Lloyd Mondon - Ref stopped fight at 2:27 of round 3. Regional HeavyweightCarmino Barboza (Narkle) -v- Scot Hartzell The Italian Sealion starts his first fight by taking an elbow to the cheek which seems to annoy him slightly as he pans Hartzell for almost three solid minutes, finishing with a solid double jab that leaves his opposition bleeding from the nose as the fighters return to their corners. The second is a mirror image, with the Sealion landing a punch, rather than an elbow, but then failing to do anything else for the rest of the round, as Hartzell dominates and leaves the fighters split with a round each, which becomes a 2-1 advantage for Hartzell, courtesy of an incredibly dull round, in which about three punches are thrown. Round four starts with Barboza in need of something, as he's tailed away after a fast start. He's clearly breathing hard after three straight rounds of trying to push the tempo and Hartzell's inside style, tying up and clinching means that Barboza really can't get going. He's busy at the end of the round, but it's tight and I'm leaning toward a Hartzell win. "We have a split decision! Judge Anselmo Escobedo scores the fight, 39-38 in favour of the blue corner, Scott Hartzell. Judge Dalby Shirley scores the fight 39-38 in favour of the red corner, Carmino Barboza. Judge Harold Lederman scores the fight... even, 38-38. Winner : Bout Drawn. Regional MiddleweightEmil Bacak (Boony) -v- Fabian Heutmacher (Moo) Here we go then with the Moony love-in, with 12 minutes of sweating and grunting and then some boxing to follow. It's an entertaining start to the fight as both boxers throw wild punches that miss by miles and then Heutmacher throws a sweet punch right into Bacak's cock and the Ref splits the fighters and offers Heutmacher a warning after exactly five seconds of the fight. Heutmacher scores another big punch without involving the groin this time but then gets another disapproving look for letting his punches go a little low. Bacak is too busy looking for his gonads to throw any punches himself and the round ends with Heutmacher in front at a canter. Round two is better for Bacak and he bloodies Heutmacher's nose in a bit of a fightback and although the round isn't as one-sided, Bacak definitely seals the 10 points. Round three is back to Heutmacher, by a narrow margin, but he doesn't need to fiddle with Bacak's giblets this time and when the bell rings it's pretty clearly two rounds to one in favour of Moo's Dutchman. Three minutes to go and Bacak needs to step it up here but before he can get going, Heutmacher gets in four hooks to the body which seems to take the steam out of Boony's man who's been puffing a bit anyway since the start of round three. He launches something of a comeback with some good combinations and has Heutmacher moving backwards with a slight cut above the right eye. In true Rocky style both fighters through huge hooks at the same time which seems to take all of their remaining strength but then there's trouble... Heutmacher goes low again and the ref breaks the fighters and substracts a point from Moo's fighter for being a dirty fook. The fighters puff through the last minute with Heutmacher throwing wild punches and Bacak gasping for air and hoping someone ringside caught his balls. There's the bell and this could be interesting now, as Heutmacher has a point off. Over to the judges... Judge Oscar Oppen scores the fight 39-37 in favour of Fabian Heutmacher. Judge Stanley Berg scores the fight 38-38, even. And Judge Carlos Sucre scores the fight... 38-38 even - the bout results in a draw! Winner : Bout Drawn.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 12:36:25 GMT
elth's fight and the National fight to come. I might have to bribe the judges to avoid this draw business though. :pops:
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Post by elth on Jul 3, 2007 12:46:55 GMT
Is my fight last to spread the lightweight fights over the card or because he's so damn awesome?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 12:48:35 GMT
The National fight is top of the bill. You're second because of the awesomeness, obviously.
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Post by coffers on Jul 3, 2007 13:22:30 GMT
So Moo is the bore draw specialist now, with both his fights ending in ties?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 13:31:18 GMT
And he only got a draw the second time by grabbing at Boony's sausage. It's like he's doing it on purpose.
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Post by Moo on Jul 3, 2007 14:50:12 GMT
Shocking decision.
I blame the judges, as I had the tactics spot on.
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Post by Boony on Jul 3, 2007 14:53:08 GMT
Just can't keep your hands off my cock, can you?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 15:00:16 GMT
Actually, trying to grab 800's sausage while wearing oversized spongey mittens sounds like a Channel 5 game show.
I'm now doubly glad I don't have a tv.
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Post by Moo on Jul 3, 2007 15:19:37 GMT
No, Boo, I can't. My tactics were to try and punch you in the c0ck, because I know you like it, and with repeated punches, you'd pull your shagging face and then I could knock your teeth out.
It would have worked too, if it weren't for those meddling judges.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2007 15:22:34 GMT
IGFLITO Moo. Or I would have done, if I hadn't gone home an hour ago.
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Post by coffers on Jul 17, 2007 14:02:10 GMT
Are we waiting for anyone to send instructions in, or are we just waiting for Stu to stop staring at tall German bints?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 17, 2007 14:12:34 GMT
Scarily prescient Coffs. I'm working on a Blair Brown to go out shortly to explain the latest.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 22, 2007 17:38:43 GMT
Regional Lightweight Arturo Salz (elth) -v- Dennis Long
elth's first fight here and Arturo "Smelling" Salz comes in looking fit and healthy, especially when compared to Dennis Long, who's obviously been on the Boony-warmup-routine, which involves lifting quarterpound weights in McDonalds and running windsprints between the TV and the fridge.
Salz isn't interested in taking any chances though and so opens the first round by clinching and driving the top of his head into Long's forehead, sending the Englishman reeling.
The ref steps in and automatically deducts a point, even though he hasn't warned the Austrian; it was that bad of a foul.
Long spends the rest of the fight pawing at his forehead between punches, even though he's been told he's not bleeding.
Salz takes advantage of Long's problems in the first to land some solid shots before Long finally wakes up to land two answering shots at the end of the round.
The second round is all Salz, highlighted by a sweet move where he feigned to go low to the body, then when Long dropped his hands, Salz fired in an uppercut.
In the third, only a mistake from Salz could turn the fight to Long, even with a point deduction in the first round and manager elth doa had been the most vocal of any manager seen so far, drilling into Salz the need to stay safe and take the win.
The two fighters exchanged punches in the first minute, but then Salz started to use his mobility to stay out of Long's way, firing in a couple of classic one-two combinations and landing some crisp jabs.
The bell sounded on an extremely professional performance from Salz, cheaty headbutting aside and it's over to the judges :
Carlos Colon of Puerto Rico scores the bout 29 to 27.
John Lawson, United States scores the bout 29 to 27.
Jack Woodburn out of Canada scores the bout 29 to 27 to our winner by unanimous decision... Arturo Salz
Winner : Arturo Salz : Points.
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Post by Moo on Sept 22, 2007 20:37:11 GMT
Aliens have invaded! And updated this thread!
RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!11!!!1
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