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Post by Sonic on Jul 27, 2006 8:23:40 GMT
Nice results you got there.
2 hat-tricks in 2 games? Wow, nice work on that front too.
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Post by floplexter on Jul 27, 2006 8:42:44 GMT
That all looked horrendously complicated. And yet, such an easy ride for you, coffs.
You play this game too much long time, sucky sucky five bucky.
KUTSABYW!
:thumb:
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Post by Moo on Jul 27, 2006 8:47:00 GMT
Jump on board, Pops, you know it makes sense....
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Post by floplexter on Jul 27, 2006 9:18:47 GMT
No cd yet, matey.
I'll pencil a window in next Thursday.
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Post by coffers on Jul 27, 2006 11:24:37 GMT
It's not as complicated as you think once you get used to it Pops.
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Post by coffers on Jul 28, 2006 8:46:34 GMT
CSK Pivara 2 vs 0 Djerdap, S&M Cup 2nd Qualifying Round Serbia: Given that our opponents were a lower league side I decided on a complete change on the starting line-up Only Our Kid remained from the lineups of the previous two games, we were still too good for Djerdap who didn't manage one shot all game. Having said that it took us until the 55th minute to score the opening goal, Nouvelle Cuisine slung in a deep cross and Slavering Simpleton got behind the defence to head over the keeper. Bovine Glue got the second and his first for the club after Slavering Simpleton had blasted a shot that was parried by the keeper.
Vozdovac 0 vs 4 CSK Pivara, League: And so to our first away game in the SuperLeague, Vozdovac started well and looked likely to give us a hard time. Freeview Channel 19 was taken off injured after only 6 minutes and I feared the worst. A slight shift in tactics regarding the emphasis on passing style and Tempo and we started to push them back. They stared to look less and less a threat and on 27 Urgent Camel hit a cross to the centre to the goal, Capstan Full Strength's first header was saved but his follow up found the net. On 39 following a bit of a scramble, One In A Bed Sex Romp smashed a low angled shot but the keeper again parried, this time Our Kid was on hand to pass into the empty net. All going well and Vozdovac looked out of it. On 61 they were out of it, Urgent Camel slung in a cross, the keeper punched as One In A Bed Sex Romp close in, the ball fell to substitute Mi'lord Simulator and he lashed in from 16 yards. Finally on 84 Bovine Glue hit a low near post cross from the left, One In A Bed Sex Romp collected spun 360 degrees, to turn the marker, and lashed in to keep up his record of scoring in every game he has played in this season. Excellent stuff.
The Master was ecstatic and is well pleased with our progress. It was beers all round on the trip home. Our entire defence and Urgent Camel were named in the Team of the Week starting line up. Back to the cup again for the next game an away tie at Indjija who are another lower league outfit.
Indjija 0 vs 3 CSK Pivara , S&M Cup 3rd Qualifying Round Serbia: Again I used the Cup game as a chance to field an almost entire team of fringe players. Again we won easily though at least this time our opponents managed a couple of shots. on 16 in an attempt to intercept a pass to Frankenstein's Assistant a defender put the ball back into his own area, this left Vic's Nasal Spray with an easy chance to make it 1-0, he didn't need a second asking. Three minutes later Frankenstein's Assistant hit a free kick towards the near post and Scratch Mark got in to head home from close range. On 22, Nuclear Toblerone hit a curling 25 yard shot inside the right hand post and the game was over. Strangle Indjija had 54% of the possession but didn't do anything with it.
CSK Pivara 3 vs 0 Zeta, league: Another televised game which was predicted as a draw by the pundit. It started tougher than the other games but on 12 a neat move down the left ended with Arm & Legs hitting a ball into the middle of the park, to Our Kid he steadied himself and blasted home from 18 yards. Zeta were having by far the best of possession but weren't going anywhere with it. on 56 a long ball out of defence found Capstan Full Strength he held it up briefly then released it through the middle to One In A Bed Sex Romp the on form strike feigned one way then cut inside beating his marker, he drove into the area before blasting in from 8 yards. On 76 One In A Bed Sex Romp took a ball form Our Kid, he slipped it inside to Capstan Full Strength who sent the keeper the wrong way from 15 yards out. Another disappointing attendance of 473. What do the fans want from the team, we're playing decent enough football, we're winning well and are only off the top because Partizan Belgrade have played more games than us?
Once again The Master is delighted and congratulates everybody he can find. Forest Gimp, Unclear Physics, Arm& Legs, Capstan Full Strength and One In A bed Sex Romp all make it to the Team of The Round. Arms & Legs was second in the player of the Round.
It's after the game that Furth come in with a £1M+ offer for, our resident German Right Back, Forest Gimp he's been on cracking form so far this season, but is supposedly only worth £14k, so after a bit of negotiating I bite their hands off and allow him to discuss terms. The offer is £475k now, £875k over 6 months plus 35% of any future transfer fee. Whilst he'll be a loss if he accepts terms I think I've enough cover at right back to last until the transfer window re-opens. By then I'll have enough in the back to find an adequate replacement.
The table after 4 games:
Away to Partizan is the next game and we'll find out just how good we really are.
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Post by Moo on Jul 28, 2006 9:10:41 GMT
Four straight wins in the league? Dear lord!
I hate you.
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Post by coffers on Jul 28, 2006 10:17:41 GMT
You're just saying that to make me feel good or something.
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Post by Moo on Jul 28, 2006 10:32:48 GMT
No, I'm serious.
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Post by coffers on Jul 28, 2006 13:35:18 GMT
The bid for Forest Gimp is actually £475k up front, £950k over 6 months and 35% of any future transfer, it's reported to be worth £1.9M and Furth accept the negotiation, it's up to the Gimp now. Partizan Belgrade 2 vs 1 CSK Pivara, League: Th league leaders were way out of our league, it was like they were from a different planet and ran us ragged from start to finish. They took the lead after only 9 minutes as our defence parted and allowed a 25 yard shot to flash inside the right hand post. I gave up any thought of defence at that point and went for it. A mistake by their keeper following a dodgy back pass on 23 allowed Capstan Full Strength to get his tackle in, the ball ran free and One In A Bed Sex Romp pounced to equalise into an empty net from 30 yards. It gave us some hope but not for long. On 36 Arms & Legs lost the ball midway into the Partizan half, a ball over the top a run on goal and we're back to square one. It's a square we stayed at and somehow we stopped Partizan from scoring again, though they did deserve a lot more. One thing the game proved is that we are a long way from challenging this lot for the title, I suspect Red Star will be just as hard. Hopefully the rest aren't as good as this lot. As we accept Furth's final offer the fans are told that we need the money, well if they can't be bothered to turn up and pay to watch, then we do need the money. :humb: before you know it Forest Gimp has signed the contract offered and is out of the door shouting something about "Thanks boss, I can't wait to get back to Germany". The board are delighted with progress so far, especially as w made a £580k profit in the last month. Rouge Patch is injured in training and could be out for up to a month. Our Kid is out for 2 weeks. In the 1st Round of the S&M Cup we get a home draw against Superleague Zemun. Scratch Mark and Everybody Salsa resume Full Training before the next game, but probably won't be fit enough to be included in the squad. Smederevo 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, League: Back to League action and we're soon in the thick of it as Smederevo go for goals, it's continual adjustments just to keep a foothold in the game for the first half hour anyway. On 17, Capstan Full Strength missed a penalty that he had won by being pulled back as he went for a loose ball. The first half ends goal-less. Arms & legs is suffering a bit so is subbed for carp Coffee on 49. On 59, Capstan Full Strength sends One In A Bed Sex Romp on a run but the striker looks out of sorts as he's tackled just inside the area, but wait up, Capstan Full Strength has followed up, beats everyone to the loose ball and chips the keeper. He's having a stormer. Smederevo send everything at us trying to get back into it and unfortunately for us the manage it on 84, they're left unimpeded to steam down-field and plunder a goal from nothing. :moop: Both sides went all out for the winner at that point but it wasn't forthcoming, so we had to share the points. The loss of a number of normal starters to injury and transfer seems to have upset the balance we had in our initial winning run, hopefully players will be back before long, though I think I may have to look fr a replacement for Forest Gimp as Nouvelle Cuisine looked a little shaky out there.
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Post by coffers on Jul 28, 2006 13:35:40 GMT
Does that make you feel better Moo?
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Post by Moo on Jul 28, 2006 14:08:44 GMT
Very much so, thank you.
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Post by coffers on Jul 28, 2006 17:04:39 GMT
CSK Pivara 3 vs 0 Sutjeska, League: We needed to make a comeback after the last two results and a home game provided a nice chance, but within 10 minutes of the start Radio Rental had to leave the pitch through injury. Frankenstein's Assistant came on for him and we looked a little disjointed, a couple of adjustments later and things started to flow. On 20, Urgent Came got One In A Bed Sex Romp free down the right, his final cross was collected at the far post and smashed in by Capstan Full Strength. Sutjeska were shocked. On 31, Capstan Full Strength turned his marker outside the area and put a great ball in for Our Kid to lamp in form 8 yards. We were strolling it, but just before the break One In A Bed Sex Romp picked up an injury and had to make way for Book Mark. The game was over on 57 when Book Mark got away down the right and crossed low for Capstan Full Strength to grab his second at the far post. My delight was tempered after the game by the news that both Capstan Full Strength and One In A Bed Sex Romp will miss the next two months due to injury, our two best strikers were out of it. I told the waiting press that is was a blow but I thought we had enough cover, though One In A Bed Sex Romp was concerned that I might be relying on him too much. Urgent Camel, Arms & Legs and Capstan Full Strength are named in the team of the week. Capstan Full Strength is named in second place for the Player of the Round. The Book Mark phones in to say he has a virus, the physios say he should stay at home for 2 weeks to avoid it spreading, we seem to have a rapidly developing striker/forward crisis. Scratch Mark reports a sprained wrist in training and is sidelined for 2 weeks. CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Zemun, S&M Cup 1st Round: With progression now in mind we field the strongest team that we can but Zemun play hard and we struggle all the way. In fact the game looks as if it will end 0-0 until Vic's Nasal Spray is tripped in the box. Our Kid steps up to slam in from the spot. 1-0 is enough and we progress to the 2nd round. Zemun were pretty disappointed. FK Rad Beograd 1 vs 4 CSK Pivara, League: Whilst the scoreline looks convincing we by no way ran away with this game. Rad were very wasteful of their chances and had 58% of the play. On 25 a quick free kick into the area by Our Kid found Vic's Nasal Spray in lethal form, shooting in from 6 yards. On 31 a long ball over the top hit Gunner Rear on the back it bounces over the advancing keeper and Vic's Nasal Spray beat every one to the loose ball to fire in from 20 yards. Rad were a better side in the second period and pulled a goal back on 63, firing in unmarked following a free kick. Five minute later though we had restored the two goal advantage; Arms & Legs getting in at the back post to convert a Vic's Nasal Spray cross. Slavering Simpleton missed a penalty on 74 but on 85 he put Capillary Mirror away to smash the ball in under the keeper from close range. The Current League table:Nano Technology and Arms & Legs manage to be named in The Team of The Round.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 31, 2006 2:42:26 GMT
That's a great start to the season, including getting a decent fee for one of your players.
I tested Partizan and Red Star in the midseason break to have an idea what I will be facing. Red Star have a towering inferno within their team :moop:
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Post by coffers on Jul 31, 2006 8:27:27 GMT
CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Zemun, League Close off the back of the slender 1-0 win against this lot in the Cup, came a home game in the league. The game ran virtually the same course as the cup match, they were hard to break down but we did so in the end. A deep cross to th edge of the area by Big Pants was chested down int the area by Urgent Camel taking out two defenders, the Albanian steadied himself and placed the ball beyond the keepers reach. We should have won by more but this could be a sign that we are missing our regular front two. It's about this point that other injuries start to hit the team, though I can't remember the exact details and we hit a run of 4 away games on the trot starting at 3rd placed Obilic: Obilic 3 vs 2 CSK Pivara, League The fact that we lost this game didn't bother me that much it was the way we lost it. Obilic were the better side but we hit them twice just before the break to set up a 2-0 lead: On 42, Arms and Legs sent Gunner Rear free down the left as he tried to cut back inside the area he was tackled, the ball ran free to Arms & Legs who thumped it inside the left post. On 45 Urgent Camel smashed the second from 18 yards after the ball broke from a goalmouth scramble. The second half was a shambles we couldn't hold the ball for love nor money. Obilic pulled a goal back on 53 a deep cross floated over everyone including our keeper. The equaliser came on 61 when they walked through our defence on their left, crossed to the back post and the ball was stabbed in without any opposition. I thought we had got a draw out of the game, but in the 90th minute, Nano Technology inexplicably pushed someone in the area, the ref saw it and Obilic hit the winner from the spot. I was fuming after the game, a couple of players had give their all but far too many were a waste of space. Jedinstvo (BP) 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, League Another hard fought game, again the home side were very hard to break down, they're are obviously threatened by relegation. Despite controlling the possession we couldn't get near their goal. Just before the break Jedinstvo were reduced to 10 men for a second bookable offence. The free kick we won came to nothing. On 51, Vic's Nasal Spray stole the ball off a slow thinking defender in the area and pinched a goal from 6 yards. That's all very well but Jedinstvo equalised on 61 as three defenders stood and watched whilst they did it from 8 yards. Not one challenge went in. Thankfully the next away game was a cup match against Radnicki {K} who had been relegated from League One last season, so even with all our injuries we should be able to beat them. Radnicki (K) 1 vs 3 CSK Pivara, S&M Cup 2nd Round Despite their lower division ranking Radnicki had all the possession, what they didn't have was someone who could score regularly. We took the lead on 17, Nuclear Toblerone had a shot saved by the keeper it rolled as fat as Gunner Rear who gratefully passed it into the empty net. He had his second 6 minutes later, when he picked up a near post cross by Bovine Glue and smashed it across the keeper into the far corner. Radnicki pulled a goal back with a 25 yard curler on the half hour and started to control the game. Thankfully we held out to the break. Radnicki started the second half knocking the ball about well, but unfortunately for them they knocked the final ball about stupidly behind their own defence into the path of their keeper who failed to beat Gunner Rear to the ball, Gunner got his hat-trick with a low 40 yard shot into the unguarded net. It knocked the stuffing out of Radnicki and we just seemed to stroll about for the rest of the game. The injury situation over the last few games has been just plain stupid, we five players out at the moment but at least 4 are due back in training in the next day or 6. But keeper Modern Decoder is out for up to 2 months. The Current League Table:
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Post by coffers on Jul 31, 2006 8:37:58 GMT
PS: My attempts to spend the £1.2M burning a hole in my pocket have met with miserable failure so far, plety of clubs are willing to part with targeted players, but the players refuse to move to Serbia even though I'm offering the ten times what they are on at present with decent signing on fees as well. Looks like we need to build a better reputation.
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Post by Moo on Jul 31, 2006 8:40:37 GMT
The table is a little deceiving at the moment, with Red Star only playing 8 games so far, but 2nd isn't to be sniffed at. An excellent start to the season, although more defeats are needed.
KUTGW! :moop:
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Post by coffers on Jul 31, 2006 8:43:07 GMT
Even worse than that Moo, we haven't played Red Star yet, the game against them keeps getting put off because of European commitments. So they will probably end up having 4 games on us.
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Post by Moo on Jul 31, 2006 8:46:33 GMT
Ouch. Still a man of your immense tactical nous should be able to see them off.
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Post by coffers on Jul 31, 2006 13:07:40 GMT
Mladost Apatin 4 vs 4 CSK Pivara, League: The final match of 4 away games on the trot arrives and it proves to be a defensive shambles for both teams. Mladnost gained and missed a dubious penalty after only 3 minutes but they had the lead by the 6th minute when a deep cross was headed in from 6 yards, two of our defenders didn't challenge and our keeper came and missed the punch. A slight adjustment in tictacs stopped us being overrun for a while and we won our own penalty on 17 when Nuclear Toblerone was held back in the area. Our Kid converted easily to level the scores. The game was the pretty even until a pre-break collapse when on 42, Unclear Physics diverted a shot bound for the corner flag into his own net and on 45 a half cleared corner was lobbed back over the top for Micic to finish from 6 yards. At the break I decided against an icy blast and offered words of encouragement, quickened the tempo and lowered the direct approach one notch. The icy blast was reserved for the hapless Unclear Physics who had been dreadful. On 55 three subs went on as nothing was happening. That livened things up as on 63, sub Frankenstein's Assistant intercepted a cross-field pass and immediately sent Book Mark on a run to collect his first goal for the club at the right hand post. Then on 70 Arms & Legs hit a cross-field ball to Frankenstein's Assistant the sub was buzzing, he ran into the area and cracked an unstoppable shot past the bemused keeper. Straight from kick-off Mladnost got the ball into our area unchallenged and scored the easiest goal they are ever likely to score this season. All our good work was undone. Still on 76, Frankenstein's Assistant got Book Mark away down the right again, the young for ward's cross was met by Our Kid who dribbled into the area and lashed the ball inside the right from 8 yards. Level again and that's how it stayed, though both sides could have had 3 more goals apiece as defences continued to fluff clearances and attacks went for the winner whenever possible. The media claimed that we were unlucky not to come away with all the points, to be honest the way our defence played, I thought we were lucky to get one point. Geisha Counter will be out for 3 weeks with a damaged elbow but Damson Deli-bar resumes full training. At last we can see a home game on the horizon, it's televised so I don't expect a bumper crowd. At least Urgent camel and One In A Bed Sex Romp are now back in full training if we can get them fit for the next game it will be a big boost. Stotty Cake on the other hand will be out for 2 weeks, but he hasn't featured this season so won't be missed. Arms & Legs and Book Mark are named in the team Of The Round. Book Mark was third in The Player Of The Round contest and his goal was listed 3rd in The Goal Of The Round. Frankenstein's Assistant's goal came 2nd in the Goal Of The Round. More bad news, Capstan Full Strength could be out for a month with a thigh strain. I cannot understand how the training schedule is causing so many problems, the work load is only top end medium, I could understand it if it was on heavy. At the end of October 2006 The Master informs me how delighted he is with our progress, he also happily informs me that we made a profit of £100k for the month. German C Side Swipe is released on a free at a cost of £6k, he's hopeless and will never feature in the first team, I couldn't cut the losses as he was unwilling to terminate mutually. the mound at the side of the training ground grows. A request to improve training facilities is looked upon in a good light and The Master claims plans are afoot to remove the humps on the field that we call a training facility.
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Post by coffers on Jul 31, 2006 15:58:09 GMT
CSK Pivara 0 vs 0 Vozdovac, League: This was a mockery of the game called football. We hammered Vozdovac in every department but scoring. They obviously came for a point and got it, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. On the bright side, Urgent Camel and One In A Bed Sex Romp returned to action and came out of the game unscathed. The pundits agreed with me claiming that Vozdovac were lucky to escape with a point. After the game I take a cheap shot at Vozdovac and claim I'd be delighted to see them underachieve this season. Boring defensive fookwits that they are. And would you believe it, we are drawn away to Vazdovac in the S&M Cup Quarter Finals. At least we avoided Red Star and Partizan Beograd, which seems to be the name for Belgrade these days. The Quarter Final is actually our next game in about 3 days time.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 1, 2006 4:09:22 GMT
A bit hit and miss, but considering it's your first season up, and no-one wants to sign, then it's a good effort.
I think it's the training facilities that are causing the injuries. I noticed this when in Poland, and soon after getting them upgraded, saw a downturn in the number I got. It's probably the single most important thing to get done as soon as you have some money. That's after becoming professional of course.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 1, 2006 9:39:37 GMT
Two things, Coffers, firstly will you fook off, embarrassing the rest of us and secondly KUTGWYB. :moop:
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Post by Moo on Aug 1, 2006 9:46:30 GMT
I heartily recommend viewing s1ut's last post again.
And then getting a tattoo.
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Post by coffers on Aug 1, 2006 9:59:18 GMT
Vozdovac 1 vs 2 CSK Pivara, S&M Cup Qtr Final: The blast at Vozdovac seemed to give a little bit of early inspiration to our team as we launched a few early assaults on their goal. On 2 minutes, Book Mark was tackled in the area, Urgent Camel hammered the loose ball across the goal and Arm & Legs stretched his leg to divert the ball into the net at the back post. The lead was slender and the game was hairy at times with Vozdovac claiming the better of the play by a touch, but we held on. In the 86th minute One In A Bed Sex Romp put Vic's Nasal Spray through on goal, following a long headed clearance from Nouvelle Cuisine, the young striker took on touch before belting the ball under the advancing keeper. The game looked over but Vozdovac equalised virtually straight from the kick-off whilst our lads were still celebrating. It made for a very nervous finish, but we prevailed in the end. The other teams that got through to the Semi Finals are, Red Star, Partizan and Rad. Hopefully we'll draw Rad in the Semi's at least it will give us a chance for a final appearance. Book Mark has reported injured and will be out for up to 4 weeks following a calf strain, what he was doing playing with cows I don't know, but I've ordered that all gates to the training field be locked in future to ensure that cows from the neighbouring farms don't get anywhere near our illustrious facilities. :humb: The players at least now have a bit of a break because of international fixtures. Urgent Camel and Our Kid have been called into the Albanian squad. Our Kid has already given his thanks to me for giving him the confidence to perform at such a level, he gets to feature in one game this time and does OK. Ice Pack a reserve at present has featured regularly for Kazakhstan and features again doing his normal OK level of performance. On their return from international duty they and the rest of the team are told to prepare themselves for an away trip to Zeta. I knew a tasty bint called Zeta once, I wonder if that's where we are going? I'd better make sure everybody gets the right sort of preparation.
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