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Post by coffers on Apr 14, 2008 14:50:54 GMT
I promoted Coffers from youth coach to full coach and with Father Jack alongside you bellowing at the players the fitness is going ok. Pass the whisky Boo.
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Post by Boony on Apr 14, 2008 15:02:01 GMT
All gone...
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Post by coffers on Apr 14, 2008 15:27:47 GMT
Bostord! Oh well, that's him out of the way, leaving me with a clear pop at Kate. :checkit:
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Post by Boony on Apr 14, 2008 15:34:48 GMT
Sorry, too late again :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 14, 2008 15:40:01 GMT
That's very poorly done and yet very well done at the same time. Have a :thumb:
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Post by coffers on Apr 14, 2008 16:21:27 GMT
Hang on, if I shake that picture, his head will fall off.
She's just leading him into a trap, she only wants him as a babysitter.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 14, 2008 16:23:27 GMT
August 2008 is a busy month, starting with the afore mentioned "victory" over my own board and six points from two games to get our BSP life off to a slightly surprising start. Any misguided ideas that this was going to be a cakewalk were soon dashed however, as we travel to Forest Green to enjoy a 2-0 defeat and then return home to a 3-0 shellacking from Rushden and Diamonds, as their 3-4-3 rips apart my 4-1-2-2-1 system, leaving my players all over the place. This means I can expect to see the 3-4-3 again soon and if I fail to deal with it, then this formation I'm playing now will be doomed. As it turns out, the AI has Hinckley switch from their base 4-4-2 to a 4-3-1-2 for the following game, but this time I'm wise to it and new robust and experienced midfielder Stefan Oakes is given a man-to-man job to do in front of the anchoring midfielder and the double depth buys some space for my defence. As a result we catch Hinckley too far foward twice in the second half and QPR loanee Chris Arthur and Sanctuary leg-end Rob Dale give us a 2-0 away win. Following the kick to the AI's tactical balls I'm very pleased to see Ebbsfleet back in a base 4-4-2 the following week, though not so pleased that Dale wastes chance after chance and we finish scoreless. So the month will really be summed up by our last match, away to Altrincham - if we can beat them we can throw a real pretty gloss on August. However, the Altrincham game turns into something of a farce thanks to one of those performances from a referee who clearly thinks he hasn't been on TV enough recently. First off, Mr Wilson of Huddersfield gives the home side a penalty for a "foul" by Marcel McKie when he was roughly eight yards from the guy with the ball. Oh aye, clearly he fouled him there. With his giraffe legs. :moop: Defender Simon Grand scores the penalty, but that will be the high point of Grand's day, as five minutes later he's caught ball watchin from a huge Dave Wilkinson goal kick and Robby Dale is off to equalise. On 40 minutes, Grand is a lot closer to Dale, but that's a bad idea with this ref and when Dale stumbles on the edge of the box Grand is going to get to see if the bath water's hot yet. We toil for a while with the man advantage until McKie redeems himself, swinging over a corner which the 6'7" Ben Martin heads home for his first goal of the season. Rob Dale grabs his second of the game shortly after as he nips in on a slow backpass and nutmegs the keeper for 3-1 and then midfielder Chris Lines makes it 4-1 with his first goal for the club, curling in a 25 yard free kick. In the last minute of the game it's 5-1 and there's no mystery as to why I'm smiling so broadly as Charles Ademeno does his best Peter Beardsley impression, pulling the ball up on the edge of the box as if he's going to cross it, then bending it between the keeper and the near post. Ademeno has 3 goals now in 2(5) games this season and the board, they say : Because a goal every 73 minutes he's on the field is rubbish, clearly. Planks. :thumb: Pops joins Moo as the second coach on a full time deal, while keeper coach Hornet is considering his offer. I presume he's trying to work out how many Tunnocks bars he can buy with £275 a week.
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Post by coffers on Apr 14, 2008 16:39:40 GMT
Nice work. Have a :thumb:
Do you want me to tell the board to fork off or something?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 14, 2008 16:42:47 GMT
Hang on, if I shake that picture, his head will fall off. She's just leading him into a trap, she only wants him as a babysitter. I think it's important to note that Boony's stood next to Katie G and ends up giving head to the guy.
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Post by Boony on Apr 14, 2008 17:15:41 GMT
Great month, good results, board are wankers :thumb: KUTGW
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Post by Moo on Apr 14, 2008 20:19:41 GMT
Yemi Yemi Yemi! The kid is a legend down at the Kassam, y'know. How the fook would you know, ye glory-seeking shandy-drinking poof? Stu: nice work on making me your first full time employee. Also nice to see that pseudo-Moo hasn't a fooking clue either. :thumb:
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Post by coffers on Apr 15, 2008 8:43:53 GMT
Hang on, if I shake that picture, his head will fall off. She's just leading him into a trap, she only wants him as a babysitter. I think it's important to note that Boony's stood next to Katie G and ends up giving head to the guy. :checkit:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 15, 2008 18:05:02 GMT
September 2008 would be one of those up and down months, where I'd open the month with a win, a loss and two draws and then bounce back from that defeat, (3-1 at the hands of Dagenham and Redbridge), with a slightly crazy game... Yes I went 4-0 up. Yes I then let the game get back to 4-3, before winning 7-3. Lee Clarke came on for Ademeno and spanked in a hattrick, although he could have got the trio faster if he hadn't hoiked a penalty against the crossbar. Not the best game for the defensive purest to watch, I'll admit. Our other win this month came courtesy of another Rob Dale hattrick, as we beat Halifax 3-1, but we also dropped a 3-1 to the Daggers and lost 1-0 in Cambridge on the last day of the month. September is going to be a microcosm of our season, with good results, somewhat aimless performances in defeats and annoying draws, leading to a middle overall performance that'll see us somewhere around 8th-12th at a guess. Possibly with Keeganesque goals for and against columns.
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Post by coffers on Apr 15, 2008 21:00:14 GMT
Nicely placed still.
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Post by Moo on Apr 15, 2008 21:04:14 GMT
Lucky.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 15, 2008 21:12:13 GMT
Everyone gets a lucky 7-3 win now and then.
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Post by Sonic on Apr 15, 2008 23:07:06 GMT
Or a 3-7 too, now and then.
Well done Stu on a decent start to the season. The conference is always one of the my most frustrating divisions. You can really sign anyone, and you want the season to finish as soon as possible, with promotion™.
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Post by Boony on Apr 16, 2008 8:31:07 GMT
Struggle? Pah! You're in a playoff spot, fella :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 17, 2008 2:37:44 GMT
I hate this game.
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Post by coffers on Apr 17, 2008 8:02:43 GMT
And so you should, that is diabolical. Your only fit striker is due for a stinker looking at his recent ratings.
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Post by Boony on Apr 17, 2008 8:19:57 GMT
Clearly the AI doesn't want you in a playoff spot, s1ut. For how long will Webb be the only guy up front? Any reserves or yoof?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 17, 2008 11:25:40 GMT
Well, Ademeno was proving my board wrong, so he got injured. On came Lee Clarke and he grabbed a hattrick along with Dale in the 7-3 game, so he was next. Then Dale got injured, leaving me in what successful firebrand manager Roy Keane likes to call " a bit of a pickle."
The very day I started retraining Elito as a forward he got injured and then reserve Hector Mackie got injured on the same day. I've been trying to sell Mackie all season, but clearly he was a threat too.
I moved Tom Webb up from the reserves but he's about as consistent as women.
Amusingly, I have two youthers - Mark Jones who played a couple of times for me last year and 16 year old David "Jennifer" Connolly who's fresh from the oven with a glowing report from AssMoo and the AI injured both in the same u18 game before I could even go look at the screen.
Because I told the board "I don't need no steenken money" at the start of the season I've been forced to trawl the players who were so good at football that their clubs left them in a layby somewhere and have signed a Welsh AMRC who sounds like the plot to a CSI episode; Kileen Abhadi, but he's listed as "ineffective" as an FC.
BEcause of all of this I've had to ditch the 4-4-2 I've been working on and go back to the 4-1-2-2-1 with AML and AMRs that I was using in the BSS last year. The system works with Rob "Four King Huge" Dale as the schwerpunkt, but with Tom "Thumb" Webb... not so much.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 17, 2008 15:51:26 GMT
October 2008 is Second Battle of the Somme month, with a casualty list that would make even Field Marshall Sir Douglas Hague go a bit pale, but despite the constant floundering about looking for players, it all turns out well in the end. Unlike the Somme. Sanctuary vs Salisbury With quite a bit of forward talent on the team, I decided to move away from the 4-1-2-2-1 system which was proving a little too easy to stop for anyone so inclined, in favour of a 4-4-2 that was either a conventional diamond, or had the AM pulled back to MC to make a 4-1-3-2 if necessary.
Of course, the AI couldn't be having that, so in the game where Ademeno reappears after being injured in the 7-3 win last month, big Rob Dale gets booted up in the air and will miss the month with a damaged knee.
Recent signee Chris Lines knocks home the penalty and then Ademeno breaks away to slot home a second, but then he gets injured too. :humb:
Sanctuary 2-0 Salisbury Lines, 12 (pen) Ademeno, 73
Sanctuary vs Kettering The visitors are no doubt licking their chops here, as we're without our best two forwards and our toothless attack is going to be showcased on TV. What they seemed to forget however, is that when I'm forced to bring a forward in off the bench, he scores a hattrick.
For Lee Clarke in Septemeber, see Tom Webb in October. The 18 year old freebie ruins Kettering's grand day out on ITV Slough, grabbing a trio of neatly taken goals, thanks to build up play from Lee Carke and Chris Lines, who also scores a goal himself.
QPR loaner AMRLC Chris Arthur takes his turn to be the forward player injured and he'll be gone for most of the month now too.
Next!
Sanctuary 4-0 Kettering Webb, 17, 79, 90 Lines, 37
Weymouth vs Sanctuary I grew to seriously dislike Weymouth in my St Albans game, because they were always a roadblock to any potential cup success and even when I promoted out of the conference and escaped having to play they twice a year, they still dogged me. I hated them and their purple kits.
Well, guess what...
After a brace of results lifts us to second in the table we're back into third here and worse we lose Lee Clarke and leftback and Captain Marcel McKie to injury. Fullback is a lopsided position for us, because McKie is good and everyone we play on the other flank isn't, so at least his injury brings some balance to the team, because now both fullbacks will be shite.
The seasiders take an early lead which the kid Tom Webb cancels out after just 18 minutes, but after that it's backs to wall stuff, as freebie keeper Dave Wilkinson keeps us in the game... right up until the hour when Weymouth grab what turns out to be the winning goal, before adding a late bit of icing to give us our regular losing scoreline of 1-3.
Weymouth 3-1 Sanctuary Platt : 11,63, Jombarti, 80. Webb : 18
After the game, Miss Garraway comes to see me to report that she's running out of massage oil to rub into our forwards, as Dale, Ademeno and Clarke are all out, along with AM Chris Arthur and AM Medi Alito who suspiciously pulled his groin in training (and is no doubt hoping Katie will do the same). I see the red 2 in my inbox and go to find that fate has a very good planning section, because she's been busy and has injured youth forwards Mark Jones and David Connolly, leaving me with Tom Webb and transfer-listed Hector Mackie as the only forwards left who can move. I hit continue and Mackie damages his foot and will miss three weeks. :moop: Charles Ademeno has the orange INJ going on... can I risk him? Sanctuary vs Woking One of those dull twists of fate here, as we have a league game against the team we're about to face in the cup. I decide to stick Ademeno on from the start, despite his INJiness, and he repays me straight away, robbing a defender and, with a deep thigh bruise, running exactly nowhere, preferring to tank the ball in from 20 yards.
I take Ademeno off on 40 minutes when his fitness hits a healthy 28, but he's done a job for us and when Woking come looking for the equaliser, they forget Tom Webb and he's away for another useful and calm looking goal. He doesn't make as many chances as Rob Dale, but he looks like he has a much better idea of what to do with them - composure is a beautiful thing.
The last remaining business in the game is for Woking's Bradley Quamina who gets into a running spat with Stefan Oakes and eventually gets himself sent off and will miss the cup match. So well done Bradley.
Sanctuary 2-0 Woking Ademeno : 10, Webb : 66
By the time the cup game rolls around four days later, Chuck Ademeno is 43% fit, so he won't be going in this time and with only one fit forward in the entire team, we'll be going back to last year's formation. I sigh Welsh AMRC Kileen Abhadi, who might just pass for some forward cover. Woking vs Sanctuary What's left of our team limps into woking to face a team who are less than pleased with us after our previous league game. Their manager goes to the press and states that he has a "fairly poor" opinion of me.
Clearly, he doesn't know me well enough.
His team are a bunch of cheeky fooks too, because I haven't even made it to me seat and they're one up, Italian fish Guiseppe Sole scoring after a whopping 21 seconds. :humb:
The game then turns over to an unlikely hero in the shape of Stefan Oakes. Oakes has been a miserable fook since I snared him on a free, but even when he hasn't underperformed due to crappy morale, he has seemed to believe that the "Goal" is a mythical beast, right up there with the Loch Ness Monster and English left midfielders.
so I'm somewhat surprised when he makes a late run into the box and canes a shot in off the bar for 1-1.
I'm even more surprised in the second half, when Woking again score inside of a minute (wake up lads!) and Oakes grabs his second equaliser of the game, with another belter, this time from well outside the area.
The replay is in three days, meaning we'll have played Woking three times in a week.
Woking 2-2 Sanctuary Sole : 1, Warne : 45. Oakes : 19, 84
Sanctuary vs Woking This is the second time in seven days that Woking have had to come to Slough. Eventually they'll crack.
Ademeno is back to everyone's favourite INJ again and so, for lack of better options, he's on the bench. This is bad news for him, because he gets to see roughly the worst game of football ever. Worse even than that LAC Final between Red Star Belgrade and Chris Waddle's Olympique Marseilles.
I've had the misfortune to see some dire dot$ games in my time, but this probably caps them all.
There are exactly none shots in the first half. Not none on target... none at all. In the second half Woking's keeper runs out to meet a long punted through ball and then for no reason he kicks it out for a corner, with no one within 30 yards of him. I suspect he was bored.
From the ensuing corner, the ball lands at the feet of Ben Martin who's lurking outside the box and he shows you exactly what a 6'7" central defender can do with the ball from 25 yards... as he hoiks the ball out of the stadium onto the passing Heathrow Express.
In the 90th minute a Woking winger has a shot from the left side of the area that goes out for a throw on the far side.
Things wake up in extra time though, as we play Woking's trick of scoring early goals when I throw Ademeno on to stop him from slipping into a coma and he taps in after some nice work by Tom Webb. We hold the lead until two minutes of the extra period remain, when Woking fullback Adam Green runs the length of the pitch unchallenged - I presume my players were not concerned with the chances of a fullback scoring. So it's a shame that's exactly what Green does.
Fortunately, he redeems himself in the penalty shoot out, missing the key third kick, after Ademeno, new boy Abhadi and Stefan Oakes had all scored. When Chris Lines makes it 4-2 the pressure is on Danny Wring and he folds like a deckchair, skying his penalty so far over the top I can read the Mitre label on the little 2d dot$ ball.
Sanctuary [pens] 1-1 Woking (aet) Ademeno : 92 Green : 118
Crawley vs Sanctuary A clash of the titans as we travel to face third-placed Crawley, although with Ademeno exhausted from the cup, we're back to Tom Webb on his own up front, with Rob Dale now back to INJ on the bench, hopefully to remain unused so that I can get some forwards back for November.
That's clearly not to be though, as Crawley are two up by the break. I throw Dale on for the second half and go back to my experimental 4-4-2, which gives us a goal as the big man sprints away and shows he still remembers where the goal is with a neat sidefoot finish, but in pressing forward for the equaliser we get done at the back and end up with our regular defeat scoreline.
Crawley's Guy Madjo has 29 goals in 20 appearances this year...
Crawley 3-1 Sanctuary Madjo : 23,89 Pittman : 29. Dale : 68
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Post by coffers on Apr 17, 2008 16:10:41 GMT
Considering the task you have with injuries thats a fantastic set of results, pity about the replay shagging the final league game.
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Post by Boony on Apr 17, 2008 22:47:07 GMT
A worrying dip in league form - lost three on the bounce? Hopefully Garraway's fetish for strikers will go away soon...
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