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Post by Narcizo on Mar 26, 2007 11:36:07 GMT
Obviously there's little real glory in winning when you hold all/most of the cards,so any gloating I do will be purely in reoleplay character, so don't take offence when I punch your boxer's head off and then call you a useless canute. Luckily for me, by choosing to have boxers I hate myself, there's nothing I need fear. So there.
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Post by elth on Mar 27, 2007 0:28:54 GMT
Smacked in the Face Gym celebrates glorious opening! Not the local paper headline. Yesterday.
Local sporting entrepreneur eltharion_doa yesterday opened the doors to his new gym – no doubt hoping that the name chosen would reflect the performance of his boxers, rather than the abuse suffered by them. elth was quoted as saying “Everyone else is making money from boxing, it’s high time I got my cut. Don’t print that. Print that I have a strong passion for boxing arising from a close association with the sport over many years, and that opening my own gym is a lifelong aspiration that is finally being fulfilled. Yeah, that sounds good. Hey, you’re cute. Wanna get a drink later?” Whilst this reporter declined his offer, a quick perusal of the talent on hand at SitFG revealed a few clues about what we can expect from this budding trainer.
Josef Placzek, 20, a heavyweight from Ukraine and Arturo Saltz, 18, an Austrian lightweight are holding the fort for the new gym. Reports Saltz was only signed because the ever distracted elth assumed he was Australian, and could therefore speak English, were unable to be confirmed as we went to print. Freddie Coletti, a 20 year old middleweight, missed the cut as, according to an assistant trainer, he was only coming along for the free plates of pasta. Lightweight Enrique Rocamora, 20, was also passed over as, according to the same trainer, he is “Spanish and therefore inherently dishonest.” Your intrepid reporter expects most of this story to be cut in editing, but that quote will make it because our editor loves racial controversy, the ex News Limited pig.
In the eyes of this reporter, who is admittedly unfamiliar to boxing, having only been assigned to this story because looking at well muscled men hitting each other appeals greatly, Placzek’s got more smack that Whitney Houston but about as much ability to control himself, whilst Saltz is a genuine all rounder. Hopefully with more time to…examine…these young athletes, more information will be forthcoming.
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 7:54:05 GMT
You're so gay.
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 8:08:23 GMT
Right Stu, I've made my selection(s), what do I do now?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 8:58:53 GMT
For now, nothing. Unless you want to write a piece admiring your manly men's manly muscles, like elth.
Now I've your two likely lads, I can finish the championship belts and move into june where fight cards start to appear for you to get your guys onto.
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Post by Boony on Mar 27, 2007 9:00:45 GMT
There's a badger trying to fly there.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 9:05:05 GMT
He's doing the voodoo limbo tango and wango dance.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 11:13:14 GMT
New PBC Gym Opens! The Pantfish Boxing Championship gained its sixth official training centre yesterday, with the announcement of the opening of the Bismarck-Bandersley Big Bad Badger Boxing Gym, or BBBBBBG for short. Headed by bon vivant and international layabout Mr Bismarck and jack-of-all-trades and international embezzler Jez Bandersley, the BBBBBBG features state of the art facilities that will allow it to accomodate as many as four boxers. But while the press were suitably wowed by the shiny equipment on show, most of their questions focused on the relationship between gym manager Mr Bismarck and the PBC's Head of Operations and nominal owner, Otto von Bismarck. In an effort to calm suggestions of any conflict of interest, Mr Bismarck claimed that he had only a passing relationship with "Uncle Otto" and that he hardly saw the elder Bismarck, "aside from for Sunday lunches at Aunt Ingrid's, a round of golf or two a week and the PBC-Media Productions board meetings, which I'm eligible to attend thanks to the large number of shares bought for me by my Uncle." The BBBBBBG owners are expected to be present at this week's Continental Title Decider Fight Night and will announce their gym's fighting lineup during a special mid-card press conference, arranged by Uncle Otto.
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Post by Narcizo on Mar 27, 2007 11:29:08 GMT
Well that seems perfectly above board and acceptable. If only FIFA could operate so transparently and correctly.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 11:45:54 GMT
Bout 1. CONTINENTAL LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (Ten rounds) Roy Snipes -v- Howard Wildman
A very fast start to this one as Wildman lands a crunching body shot, which is answered by a combination from Snipes that has Howard in trouble in the first minute. The two crack away at each other and Wildman goes back to his char with a bleeding nose.
The second round is all Snipes, as he floors Wildman for a six count half way into the round, then sends him to the canvas again soon after. Wildman is back on his feet quickly, but is clearly in trouble and does well to stay on his feet to the bell.
The third features a lot of clinching, as Wildman just tries to find a way to get his feet back under him and then the turn around comes in the fourth, as Wildman cuts Snipes with an elbow, then while he's still dazed, sends Snipes to the deck.
As the bell sounds on the fifth, both fighters look in trouble and we're not even halfway, so it's no surprise that we're back to the slow pace, but the sixth opens fast again, as Wildman crashes in a great right hand and it's probably the third round in a row that he's won now.
Seven is another solid one for Snipes though and the eighth sees Wildman's hands drop as the early knockdowns and his brave fight back take a toll on his fitness. Both fighters look weary as we get through the eighth, with Snipes just winning and into the ninth which sees Wildman give about everything he has left, in the hopes of taking lead that Snipes can't get back.
Round ten... the last three minutes. Snipes is clearly the fitter, but he went missing in round nine, which means he needs a big round here. He wins the round for sure, but not by much... is it enough?
Judge Kazumasa Kuwata scores the fight an even 95-95. Judge Hal Miller scores the fight, 95-93 and Judge Ray Solis scores the fight 95-94 in favour of our winner tonight and new Contintental Lightweight Champion... Howard Wildman!
Winner : Howard Wildman - Majority points decision
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 12:04:47 GMT
Can I trade one of mine for Howard Wildman, please?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 12:05:16 GMT
Bout 2. CONTINETAL MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (Ten rounds) Nelson Twombly -v- Uwe Klein
Our second fight of the night has a lot to live up to after the lightweight cracker and fans across the PBC are hoping for a stormer of a punch up, with Klein ultimately winning, because Twombly is a silly name.
That desire is very nearly dashed in the very first round, as Twombly bangs in two solid rights that have Klein in trouble and a third that opens a very deep cut on Klein's left eye.
The second and third also go Twombly's way in fairly routine fashion and Klein could be running out of time already, as the ref takes him to the Doctor for an examination of the cut.
Looking at raw talent, Klein shouldn't be having too much trouble with Twombly, but he just cannot find a way to take over the fight and it's not until the fifth that he manages to sneak a round and then he backs that up with a comfortably better performance in the sixth.
Are we seeing a come back in our second straight fight?
Klein takes the seventh and then just about sneaks the eighth, despite a fast start from Twombly.
The ninth is even and so it's into the last round again. Both fighters are absoilutely out on their feet, but Klein has battled back from early troubles and it could be a case of the winner of this round winning the fight too.
The winner is pretty clear, too, as Klein dominates and Twombly wilts with completely empty tanks. Twombly just can't find the energy to land a punch and Klein, who's lost so much blood he's almost transparent, could well be the winner here...
Ladies and gentlemen, after ten tough round of boxing we have a split decision.
Antonio Requena scores the bout, 97-94 in favour of Uwe Klein.
Kazumasa Kuwata scores the bout 96-95, in favour of Nelson Twombly.
Finally, Judge Kiroyuki Tezaki scores the bout 97-93 in favour of our winner and new Continental Middleweight Champion.... Uwe Klein!
Winner : Uwe Klein - Split deicision
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Post by Narcizo on Mar 27, 2007 12:11:03 GMT
Greene could have him.
In an annoying accent contest.
On points.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 12:15:33 GMT
If there was a belt for the most annoying accent then your whiny taff would have it sealed already, for sure.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 12:38:34 GMT
Bout 3. CONTINETAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (Ten rounds) Jordan Cummings -v- Oleg Maskowski
The big lads and, allegedly, the most prestigious belt, even though the fighting at the extra-fat level can be a bit dull.
Cummins shows surprising defence in round one, as he dodges a few shots and blocks others on his way to winning the round - a feat he repeats in rounds two and three.
Unlike the other two fights, we've no major drama yet in this one, although Makowski battles back to win the fourth - his first round of the fight.
The fifth also looks pretty low-paced, but then Makowski finds a sneaky uppercut on the inside and Cummins finds the canvas, looking up at the lights. He's up quickly though and actually scores the better as Makowski comes in to apply pressure.
Cummins gets back on his bike for round six, which has to be illegal, surely, but after nicking that round, Makowski takes the seventh and it's looking like we could have our third fight go the distance, especially when a slow eighth goes in Cummings favour, giving him a rough 5-3 lead on round so far.
The ninth has to be a big round for Makowski if he's to have a chance in the tenth and he pulls out the stops, blanking Cummings and scoring consistently to easily win the three minutes.
So, for the third time, we're into the tenth with a fight that could go either way.
Cummins comes out blazing at the bell and quickly takes a tempo that Makowski can't manage and on my card, the tenth goes to Cummins, just barely giving him the fight. But here are the three guys who really matter...
Ladies and gentlemen, we have another split decision.
Judge Eva Shain scores the fight 96-94 in favour of the red corner, Jordan Cummins. Judge Richard Strange scores the fight 96-94 in favour of the blue corner, Oleg Makowski.
And Judge Art Lorie scores the bout 95-94 in favour of our winner and new Continental Heavyweight Champion.... Jordan Cummins!
Winner : Jordan Cummins - Split decision
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 13:12:43 GMT
Are you going to keep this up, s1ut?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 13:19:52 GMT
Provided I don't hit 100% warning and get banned, aye.
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Post by Narcizo on Mar 27, 2007 13:31:25 GMT
If Boony bans you I suggest we all move to another message board and start up there. And then nip back here every so often to hurl invective at Boony and laugh at him a bit.
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 14:33:12 GMT
And mention the Nazis at every available opportunity?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 27, 2007 15:07:18 GMT
You know who else mentioned Nazis a lot don't you?
Hitler.
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Post by Moo on Mar 27, 2007 15:38:54 GMT
We're not related.
In other news, I'm surprised that this thing is still going. I expected the save game to have been "corrupted" by now.
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Post by Narcizo on Mar 28, 2007 5:29:44 GMT
I think mine has been.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 29, 2007 7:44:18 GMT
Moo doing his best to jinx us there, as the graphics card that has been running with an office fan pointing at it since June of last year finally gave up the ghost and melted.
Although the HDDs and therefore the files were never in danger, I couldn't actually switch on my PC without a video card, so I couldn't get to them.
All fixed now though - shiny new ATI X1950 installed and looking lovely, so the face punching will be up and running again - particularly next week when I'm stuck on a training course. :moop:
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Post by Boony on Mar 29, 2007 8:25:00 GMT
With free beer?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Mar 29, 2007 8:53:58 GMT
There are other kinds of training courses?
The beer isn't really free. What's free is "an evening meal and one drink." But I figure it's cheaper if I buy the meal and then use expenses to buy enough beer to round out to about the price of a meal and one drink.
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