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Post by Sonic on Jul 9, 2006 22:48:11 GMT
Images of Jenna Jameson, I think. :cab: Only if she brings along Carmen Electra.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 9, 2006 22:49:11 GMT
I think he's pissed or something, if he isn't I am. :checkit: I have been enjoying a brew while watching taped games of the World CUp while doing this too. And yes, it could be because your pissed too
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Post by Sonic on Jul 9, 2006 22:49:27 GMT
There was another away game, and who was I to say no to getting out of more work. Oh, she’s offering herself too me? Better not let Doing Jenny see this happening. She said to go back to my place. When we got there, she suggesting going back to her place. Sweet, a bed! We only made it to the garden out the back. She pointed to the garden bed outside the back door saying that’s were I would be sleeping afterwards.
I shrugged and said, “It’s got to be better than just the blanket I get in the closet.” She smiled at this.
It wasn’t fun getting moved on by the local militia the next morning because her parents thought I was lurking and up to no good. No, that’d already happened. And they didn’t even offer me breakfast.
So it was that I left to see the away game against Vlasina in high spirits. The guys were ribbing me the whole way back, asking me if that was what I used. I kept drinking, but I did tell them about the next morning and being moved on. This seemed to set them at ease, as the first half was great. Especially so, as it was the most fans they had played in front of this season, 1345of them. Most of them weren’t happy when Doing Jenny opened the scoring in the 2nd minute, but CSK fans were, naturally. Releasing A Virus extended the lead in the 14th, and made it 3 on 32 when Doing Jenny gave him a good ball into the 6 yard box. That’s the stuff. The game saw Vlasina do not much in front of goal after that, but keep possession, something which CSK didn’t seem to mind at all. Late in the game, No Means Driving Blind did something odd, first clearing the ball to safety, then intercepting well, and then strangely the ball came loose, and Vlasina had pulled on back in the 81st minute. Nothing more than a consolation for them. No Means Driving Blind’s moment of madness meant he finished with a 5, even though the rest of his game was good. Still, we left with high spirits, especially Burning Lazarus who picked up MoM, pipping Releasing A Virus who assisted once and scored 2.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message Board: Douse the Medic and Burning Lazarus both made the team of the week. A Lot Of Jelly has returned to training. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s a home game, and the clubs been building towards this one all week. Ok, I’ve been hoping to see that girl again, but she’s disappeared. Must be my accommodation. That, or something I said, which wouldn’t surprise me at present considering how little I can speak of Serbian. Anyway, a top of the table clash it is next, as CSK take on 2nd placed Novi Pazar, with the home team made favourites; 6-4, a draw 2-1 and the away team 13-8. So a tight match with a winner is expected. It seems that an unchanged side has been selected, with No Means Driving Blind’s mare performance taken pity on. That or there is no-one else to select. Actually, that’s a no brainer. The first half was dull, as the Kit Man and I took turns going back to the bar, not to buy drinks, but to see if something else had changed in the match, and was also my excuse to peruse the crowd, all 1450 of them. They didn’t get much for their money for the first half. Something must have been said at half time, as the game saw CSK come out looking lively, and they got rewarded for their efforts as Releasing A Virus beat his marker and the GK to the ball, knocking in a killer No Means Driving Blind cross into the area. Or was that a pass as his crossing is 7 and his passing is 8. Either way, it’s 1 zip to CSK in the 52nd minute. The game died again, and then saw the most amazing bit of stupidity by the CSK players. No, just Douse The Medic, as he gave the ball away, and after that, all the CSK players ended up behind the Novi Pazar players, somehow, after being in front of them. Hmm. That silenced the crowd, and also saw the game killed off, even though the CSK’s manager Youth, tried to rally his troops. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the personal to deal with these come backs, and had taken off the forward who was most dangerous because he was knackered. Grrr. It was even more gauling after seeing how much worse the Novi Pazar player is to the rest of the CSK players. :moop:
Youth after the game went to the press, saying that he was unsure of the Novi Pazar manager saying that he’s heard that he’s a posser and a tosser, and that he was shouldn’t have gotten anything from the last game and what is he doing in 2nd place anyway, he’s crap. After his tirade had finished and he’d calmed a little, he did say that he wouldn’t condemn him from hearsay and that he would give him plenty of chances to lose, no, prove that he could lose gracefully. I walked up to him after this and said well said, and offered to buy him a drink if we went to the pub. He agreed and there was some back Karaoke sung after we’d had a skinfull or two. Top night. Oh, and there was the obligatory dissing of the Novi Pazar too. Surprisingly this increased Youth’s Professionalism and Media Handling by 2.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 9, 2006 22:50:22 GMT
This brought CSK to the upcoming last placed PSK, at their place. A humping is expected as they’ll discard all form and thumper us. The PSK fans didn’t have much confidence in their team as only 379 in a 6000 capacity stadium turned up. I guess their fans would have not been surprised when CSK too the lead in the 18th minute, Releasing The Virus basically made sure the ball sent over by Flapping Bag of Otters, went over the line, on the line, and then seeing the GK bounce off him into the back of the net, injuring himself in the process. Nice. He did play on. Then promptly conceded another in the 23rd minute when Sat On A Cat’s headed on ball from No Means Driving Blind saw Doing Jenny get in behind the PSK defense. Nice. GLITFOS. Does it matter if it isn’t in the first minutes of the game? No? Well, it happens in the 34th minute for PSK, and then they start looking like a team not in last place, taking possession and getting more involved, including threatening goalwise. A bit more goal wise, but not that much. Whatever was said at the break seemed to have more impact to the PSK players as they took possession, and CSK couldn’t get it. What little they did, they were threatening with, but too slow. Subs were made for tired legs, and later a tactic change due to players left on the bench to select from, and then a sealing goal was seen. Sat On A Cat sealed the game when he was gifted a goal by Very Sunny Cloudy Day thundering a 25 yarder onto the crossbar, who then had to then round the flat on his back GK to tap the ball into the back of the net on 83. Not like his last effort that ended up far wide of goal when all he had to do was this. Sat On A Cat ended up with MoM, and CSK a well earnt 3 points.
The games seem to be coming before I know they are to be played. This one is the 1st Rnd of the Kup de Girly, and CSK will be facing Sevojno. They are in the same league as us but aren’t doing as well, just outside the relegation zone. Very Sunny Cloudy Day finally did what he should be doing, running through the middle of the park and scoring, CSK ahead in the second minute. The rest of the first half was all about frustration as I watched CSK almost get another goal, while almost sometimes, conceding. Grr. The second half was different. Man did we have fun. After making sure we had a good esky full at the break, we were delighted to be able to crack it open as early as the 47th minute, Releasing A Virus. He showed that he was having a good game when he doubled his tally in the 58th minute. Nice. CSK were definitely into the 2nd round. Subs and tactic changes were made and later, a freekick was awarded to CSK, and the 74th minute effort was taken by Sassy Vicky. The wall did do its job by getting in the way, but unfortunately they only deflected it past their own GK, who did make a hash of the save. CSK were threatening no matter how half assed the attack looked after this, but no addition to either’s score occurred. Lovely. Only one upset happened in this Rnd as an SL team was knocked out on penalties by a LIM team. The team knocked out? Partizan, who are first in SL! Srem are only 10th in my division. Nice work. Interestingly enough, only 3 penalty’s of 10 were converted.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two new additions to the CSK back room staff, introducing Englishmen and scouts each, Camping Pumpkin and Hired Killer. They are immediately sent out to find me players. Surprisingly French technical coach Muscular Shoot decides to join, and then another English Coach Porsche V-Dub does too. More than I was expecting. I offered my scouts new fulltime contracts, and again when they rejected, but if they do again, I’m firing them. I don’t think they realize the situation they are in. Muscular Shoot turns out to be a 4 star defensive and tactical coach. Defensive it is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Home against Napredak is next, and it’s one of the most frustrating games I’ve witnessed. Miss upon miss, upon easy chance missed. 0-0? No. I heard later that CSK’s manager Sonic Youth ripped into the team, but praised Burning Lazarus who was from what I saw the only player to come out of this game with anything. After the game, Youth told the Napredak manager that promotion was unreasonable to expect and that the should concentrate on more reasonable goals. It was not like there was any other option given to be able to say. Once again the media handling and professionalism of Youth increased by 2 to 14. I find it surprising that anyone can even understand what he is saying, considering that all he knows is English.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sore Sandwich is mutally terminated, with CSK saving £2k, with him leaving for £2k. I repeat the same for Never Saw Him Before, with the same results. I’m hoping that being as I think they are the only 2 left on professional contracts, the club will become professional. We’ll see soon. Why can I offer anyone who isn’t S&G, Russian and Ukrainian better contracts? It’s irritating as I could have a great backroom staff. More Backroom Staff are signed, and surprise surprise, a French and English men are signed; Fencing Range and Singing Cliffs. I now have 4* coaching for strength, stamina, GK and Defending. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After all the new backroom staff have joined, it’s straight away to Radnicki(K). I don’t get why CSK are constant favourites, but they are. It seems to prove correct as Very Sunny Cloudy Day sets up Doing Jenny. The game moves into its inevitable frustrations stage. It’s definitely something I look forward to during a football match. A least no-one pulls out a grenade. Actually, that could makes thinks more interesting. I don’t think I’m going to suggest this to the supporters club, but I might tuck this one away for the half time and full time team talks. It takes until the second half, and late into it for things to really kick into gear. It’s again Doing Jenny who impacts on the game, picking up on Very Sunny Cloudy Day’s work to Sat On A Cat who releases him to beat a defender and slot home in the 78th minute. 2 minute later and the defense is asleep, gifting back a goal to Radnicki. Thankfully it doesn’t matter as Doing Jenny completes his hat-trick by robbing the GK in the 87th minute and making sure that CSK get the points. Surprisingly he only rates a 9 for his efforts, and I put this down to his 2 of 17 headers won. Wonderful didn’t like me being disappointed with me and goes to the press saying that he wasn’t happy with my team talks. I fine him a weeks wages for his unprofessionalism. He’ll probably be unhappy with htat too. Tough. I transfer list him and offer him around. It’s now down to the Chinese players whether they want to be fulltime, otherwise they are out of there. One seems to, well see.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 9, 2006 22:50:58 GMT
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Post by Moo on Jul 10, 2006 8:47:03 GMT
Nice update there, Sonic. :thumb:
A nice bit of lurkation there. KUTGW!
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Post by coffers on Jul 10, 2006 9:17:37 GMT
Lurkation is all the rage I hear, not only that it's unbeaten lurkation.
KUTLW! :thumb:
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Post by Sonic on Jul 10, 2006 23:06:36 GMT
Nothing much happened again during the interval between games, and the home fans must be getting pissed off with the strikers as for the chances given they did fuck all against a team that should have been beaten. Macva were the lucky recipients of a points :moop: I went and got pissed down at the brewery, and then was carted back to my closet in a wheelbarrow. I later wondered who was kind enough to do this for me and then found out that was the local taxi service. I just wish Spartak and Novi Pazar would stop winning.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Board Confidence: Delighted, makes loss of £7.39k. Team bulletin: CSK will be traveling to Mornar in the 2nd Rnd of the Kup de Girly. International Call Ups: Burning Lazarus to the U21’s S&G side; ends up playing well and assisting one of the two goals in a 2-1 win against Lithunia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another excuse to get away from Celarvero. This time it’s Radnicki(P) who are CSK’s hosts. I’d made a couple of changes at the back, forced due to both International appearance and someone pissing me off(Wonderful). This games is definitely something, but for CSK, a terrible first half. They were down a goal by the 4th minute, and lucky to equalize 3 minute later; Flapping Bag Of Otters heading in a far post corner gave the CSK supporters something to drink and cheer about. Though CSK had a little bit more of possession, they did the bugger of all with it, and saw themselves go into the break a goal down, when they let in a 34th minute goal, a bullshit goal where they guys controlled it and had a whack at it and seen it go in. I was not impressed. 1891 fans came and seen this game, and it’s probably safe to say that they are mostly Radnicki fans. They must have left shell shocked after the second half, as CSK went on the ramapage. It started in the 48th minute as Doing Jenny struck. It really began in the 57th minute, a freekick awarded to CSK 30 yards out, up steps Very Sunny Cloudy Day to strike it and hello, there’s the lead. Oh, what’s this? That’s just Releasing The Virus stealing the ball from a defender and knocking in a 4th for CSK in the 59th minute. Some talk must have been said at half time! It wasn’t finished there either, as A Lot Of Trajectory stepped up to convert a penalty in the 77th minute. That’s 5, and that’s the way it stayed. Wow, that’s some second half. Flapping Bag Of Otters wins MoM.
This was some victory, as it brought a range of comment. The first was that CSK Manager Youth was basing his success on his mean defense as they have only shipped 9 goals in the 10 of 15 games they have played. Though this is still early, it’s a great start. Lavovi also have been said to have stroked lucky in their last game. I have to wonder about that one, as we hit in 5. Yes, I know. The last interesting comment also comes form the media, as they term the resent great form of CSK and the time it come in by saying that the fans are enjoying their Indian Summer. Huh?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ International News: S&G defeat Bosnia 4-1. This win sees them qualify for the Euro Champs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post by Sonic on Jul 10, 2006 23:07:14 GMT
Mladost (A). No, I haven’t sneezed, but I have joined 1411 other fans in seeing them play CSK at the crappy Stadion Pivare. I must say that I hate these games, and I love these games. Though it isn’t the same as the last game, it surely provides a different type. The first half is terrible, as neither team offers anything. It is obvious that CSK’s manager is not pleased, as his gestures prove. This continues into the second half. He decides that a change is required in the 72nd minute. It proves a turning point later as CSK then take the lead as Releasing a Virus is set free and shoots from about 45 degrees, hitting in a good looking goal in the 80th minute. Youth makes more changes and again is rewarded. He seems to have some sort of voodoo over the Mladost manager, as Flapping Bag Of Otters gives sub Sat On A Cat a chance, which is made easier when an on target effort is deflected in in the 89th minute. That’s the game, and another 3 points for CSK.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Club News: This Is My Sand Pit, Burning Lazarus and Flappping Bag Of Otters are all selected in the team of the week. Releasing A Virus’s goal against Mladost was selected as goal of the Rnd, while the goal scored against CSK during Radnicki game was considered 3rd best. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roll up, roll up, it’s time for you to get behind your CSK team. They have a great opportunity ahead of them. Beat Spartak (S) and they have a even better chance of attaining a promotion spot. Roll up, roll up one and all, and support your favourite CSK side. I guess I should be happy that only 841 fans turned up considering that the stadium can hold 25,000. It’s pleasing to see that we’re going to get a good game, even though we’ve had to travel to get it. I’m kind of kidding when I say good, maybe ‘good’ would be a better option. Good is that CSK take the game to Spartak and push them back, taking possession. Rewards are then earnt as CSK take the lead in the 29th minute as Yuk, Yogourt’s post hitting is tapped in by Releasing The Virus. Spartak collapse as they leak another 2 minutes later as Doing Jenny hits in a great ball by Melting Pavlova. It’s great to watch, and this lead is taken into the break. The second half doesn’t feel any different, except that a jolt does occur. A 62nd minute one, as Spartak pulls a goal back. It’s against the run of play, and they are playing at home. Wow. They seemed happy with the way things were, as they couldn’t get anywhere after that goal, and CSK couldn’t find a way through either. A very deserved win for CSK was commented on, and Yuk Yogourt!’s MoM deserved. Finally, CSK have pulled some points back.
The fans of CSK are still delighted about the defeat of Spartak, and they take much confidence into the game against Novi Sad. It turned into a tense match, especially for the CSK fans, and I’d say a frustrating one for the Sad fans :checkit: The discerning factor in this game came in the 18th minute when Releasing A Virus hit in a fantastic header, coming off a Flapping Bag Of Otters cross. I was on the edge of my seat ever since, and before too. I also saw a post and crossbar hit too, not to mention wide efforts and saved efforts too, from both sides. Except the bar and the crossbar, which was CSK’s exclusively. Not that that is something to be proud about. The 3 points I though, and we were. Novi were Sad about this :checkit:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Club News: This Is My Sandpit is selected in the team of the round. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2nd Rnd Kup de Girly. Very frustrating, and one I wish I hadn’t travel to. Oh, what was the result? 1-0 to the home side, a very undeserved result as CSK dominated from start to finish. Only a 27th minute fluke separated the sides. I was not pleased. Their GK was MoM, and even he rated 7. That says something I think, and it’s not one I’m pleased about as CSK more than deserved a goal. This better be made up in the league. I’m going to have to say things to the player if they keep expecting me to travel to these type of matches. At least they get paid for it. I can’t believe CSK lost this match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No Means Driving Blind is out for up to 4 weeks with a twisted knee. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post by Sonic on Jul 10, 2006 23:11:01 GMT
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Post by coffers on Jul 11, 2006 0:42:02 GMT
Girly cup defeats overshadowed by a run of wins, but still only lurking I see. You'll snatch it at the end.
KUTSTBSIATEW! :thumb: (Still Lurking But Snatching It At The End)
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Post by Moo on Jul 11, 2006 8:20:04 GMT
What Coffers said, basically.
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Post by Boony on Jul 11, 2006 15:08:20 GMT
Snatch? Where?
Oh, right. I can't be bothered reading all that. Put the scores in bold or something [/Nark]
I'll just look at the table instead.
...
3rd? Lurking, but I reckon you'll snatch it at the end.
Snatch? Where?
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Post by Moo on Jul 11, 2006 15:37:12 GMT
Shush.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 12, 2006 0:38:13 GMT
Though the club had lost its first match of the season, CSK were still in a confident mood. This was taken into the next league game, a home match against a team I couldn’t pronounce, Mladenovac, or at least after a couple of beers. This was a much different match, and it was clear from the kickoff. CSK took the game to Mladenovac who seemed to have no answer. Seemed? There was non for them. Especially after they had a player sent off in the 24th minute, Releasing A Virus being the tripped and then 4 minutes later got on the end of a nice move to put CSK into the lead. It’s been a great 5 minutes to cheer on your team. Mladenovac were wilting, and had trouble finding any momentum forward. It never got any better than it already was. Meanwhile CSK were hitting Mladenovac every way possible, except finding the back of the net for the second time. That was until the 70th minute when Doing Jenny did, and promptly sent the 1143 fans into raptures. The second CSK had a dampening effect on the game. Stats of interest: 0/0 shots at all in the game for Mladenovac, CSK’s first shut-out; CSK’s 5/18 shot on taraget :moop:
CSK traveled to Sevojno for their 17th game of the season. They sat 8th at this time and could prove to be a challenge considering I’d seen them get thumped in the Kup 4-0. Upon kickoff, the result looked likely to be repeated as Very Sunny Cloudy Day knocked in an edge of the area freekick inside the first minute of the match. Game on, and that’s what happened. Chances flew to both teams, while possession was shared. I felt CSK were edging the game, and sitting back while enjoying the game was made much easier knowing that they also had the goal. I still felt on edge, just because they couldn’t get that crucial second that looked important the more the game stayed with only a goal to CSK. And it happened, coming in the 64th minute. The goal was laughable. Yuk Yogurt! was fantastic in his contribution in the setting up of this equalizer. Firstly his clearance went straight down the middle of the pitch(I play down the wings), straight to a Sevojno player. He knocked it directly into the box, a ball that cut straight through, you guessed it, Yuk Yogurt! to find a Sevojno player behind him to run onto, confuse This Is My Sand Pit!(which wasn’t hard) to come to the near post, so when the ball was cut back to another free Sevojno player, it was a simple tap in. I thought this goal also brought into question the awarding of the MoM ultimately to Burning Lazarus. Youth was furious but waited to the 86th minute to make his changes. What a tactical genius he is! Two minutes later and a move through Burning Lazarus hitting a freekick left from the right to the slightly left of central Going Crazy, who knocked the forward to Very Sunny Cloudy Day who turned on the ball and pulls the trigger and fires in a wonderful shot. A goal that gave CSK the 3 points, and left the CSK fans feeling great. A deserved result.
Sometimes you just don’t want to do anything, and this was one of those days. I was really looking forward to traveling to see CSK play Bezanija. Oh the joy of it. Melting Pavlova made the trip a good beginning, by opening the scoring in the 4th minute. The lead last until the 21st minute. It was frustrating watching the CSK strikers, as all but the first shot, the goal, have knocked the beers and set off the car alarms of both sets of supporters hands and cars. Not a pleasant day, considering I wasn’t feeling like being here. Oh, here’s something interesting, a goal to Very Sunny Cloudy Day in the 57th minute, except it wasn’t on target. Surely that’s an own goal. Oh, I’ll sit back down and wait until the final whistle. That’s another equalizer, 4 minutes after taking the lead. I was first on the bus. Youth wasn’t the only one who was disgruntled today, as he flipped off Bezanija’s manager saying that he needed to go back to school to be promoted out of kindergarten. If he was lucky, he could make pre-school.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Vojvodina sends in a friendly proposal, except it’s about 60 games away from the restart of the league, which sees this proposal rejected. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bask, at home, 0-0 :moop: Oh, there’s a break now. 90 days? Sheesh, what do I do now? Youth fires a parting shot at Bask manager saying he is ninny, and should go back to curdling goats to make cheese and milk. He did say that he wouldn’t drink or eat these so called dairy products as they didn’t contain any alcohol, but he would if he changed his style and gave in next time they met.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Going Cuckoo decides he wants an early holiday and injures his face, ruling himself out for up to 2 weeks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems that I’ve progressed in the language stakes, as I’ve now mastered all the swear words, which basically gives me a basic speak of the Serbian language. Strip Clubs, hold on to your marbles as I’m on the take. I’ve a new business to start. Wow, I've 90 or so days to kill someone to start this thing. Bank manager, here I come :cab:
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Post by Sonic on Jul 12, 2006 0:38:33 GMT
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Post by coffers on Jul 12, 2006 7:36:03 GMT
:thumb: and another :thumb: for being 2nd in the league at the break. KUTGW! (I won't give a hatrick of thumbs here, but I would have if you had been top)
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Post by Sonic on Jul 24, 2006 1:27:30 GMT
I’ve amassed a pretty penny, and I shine it every night. The Local joint likes the way I rock, And my string becomes full of notes. There’s a knot telling me how long I have to perform, Telling me when the notes reach it. It would be good if the stage wasn’t so small It would be good to get away from those grasping hands.
Ok, you’ve caught me out. I’ve someone on the side. Ok, a lot of someone’s and they don’t mind throwing money at me. I’ve become sick of the sweeping, and so what do I do? More of the same, but in a different field.
The club pays me well, though trying to get me to snort something that isn’t alcohol wasn’t in the job description. It never happened as I told them I have a broom and know how to use it. They backed away quickly, at least until the distance of the broom, pulled out a pen and told me it was laser guided. I got my coat and went to the next establishment.
Oh, it’s the brewery. I thought that was the door that the guys who brewed went through. Oh. It is, and now, I’ve been invited in. It’s the same guy who got me the job at the club. He says he can help me even further, but I have to take blood test regularly. I asked him if it mattered if I had intoxicating substances in my blood when it happened, and he said it did. I told him about the last club and he burst out laughing.
“So that’s why you missed the first game of the season!” he gasps between fits of laughter. “I wish I’d seen you perform that night.”
This wasn’t going how I expected it too go.
“I want you to work for me, and I won’t make it part of your contract to do those…things, they included in whatever you had as a contract.”
Contract?
My face must have told him something. He gets serious at that point.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that.”
And that was the end of that, and also the start of that too. See, I told you I’d start a new business. I didn’t want to know what he meant by ‘taking care of that’.
The end of the season has left me in a lurch, and my extracurricular activities are not interesting me enough. See, I’ve about 90 days between this and the restart of the season. The club stuff is become easy as no-one is around to mess things up. Youth has taken to grumbling about idiots and signs. I can’t seem to connect the two, and when I ask, he grimaces. Then he walks off to the bar and gets us both a drink. His is stiff after that, and that’s nothing to do with my other ‘job’ thankyou very much.
One day soon after the season enters hiatus, I’m told that I’m starting to get fat by one of my ‘jobs’. My face must have blanched as there’s nothing wrong with all of this, except I’m then told I’m to expect an extra special Christmas present. That perked me. They left with a knowing look in their eyes that disquietened me. It’s not that long to Christmas.
I finally collar Youth in to telling me what he is up to. I had to get him roaring to do this too, which wasn’t easy. It turns out that all those grumbles were about those who shall not be mentioned except by at least the word idiot and which also includes joining and and and of and club. It turns out htat he has been fiendishly trying to recruit more rejects to the club, good ones at that, but even they have been turning him down. I get him another and tell him to cheer up and tomorrow could bring some better news.
It takes us a week to sober up, and my other employer was starting to get worried as he had heard that some deaths and burials had recently occurred. Then he went off his nut, and I was very apologetic after that. It turns out that the couple who had said there was a very special Christmas present to be expected had unsettled him and scared the sphincter out of him. Now he knows how I feel.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 24, 2006 1:28:15 GMT
Remember when I said the Club was fiendishly trying to bolster it’s ranks? And even the rejects of the other clubs don’t want to come? And they are good rejects at that? Ok, ‘Good’, OK, ‘good’ rejects, Sheesh, (I’d take the GK in a flash), well it turns out that the next day was indeed a much, much, worse one, and excellent adventure.
It started early, Youth the unfortunate one to be first up. Not that it was his choice, as he was banged awake. It turns out that he had scored well that night, and that he’d had a micro-sleep, and that saw him tied up(his micro sleep letting him down), and that he was having his nuts busted when he and his companion were rudely interrupted.
“Youth! Youth! Wake up, wake up, I’ve got news you must hear.” And with that the Kit Man burst into his room in the office upstairs in the club house. There was a strangled breathe emanating from the Kit Man after that and he quickly left the room.
I got this out of him at lunch, and it turns out he did have news that needed sharing. Two lots of news. He told us about his bursting. It was infectious, as I did just that. He then told me his other news just to change the topic, and I gwaffed.
“It’s true I tells yah. Just look at this letter, and this fax, and this other faxes and letters.” It’s true, he wasn’t lying. These were signed contracts, and official clearances and such. Youth had worked miracles, and not just last night after that much alcohol.
The club becomes still, and I’m left with the Kit Man, Youth, and a fridge full of booze, meat and the occasional vegetable and such. I’m getting nervous, as I keep getting a wide eyed reception whenever I turn up to perform my other jobbie. Christmas is rapidly approaching.
It’s here.
I open my closet door, slowly as to not disturb anyone who’s out there. I was wasting my time. Except I wasn’t either as there was a letter on the floor outside. It tells me to open it up at lunch, otherwise it’ll combust. I put into my pocket. I wonder what Christmas is like in this place. Dull actually, and it’s lucky I had taken my own matters into my own hands, as no-one had invited me anywhere. Bostords. I’ve cooked my own turkey, prepared my own ham, made triffle, stuffing, cakes, and salads, stocked the fridge and then wondered how I was going to eat all of it. It’s going to take me weeks to get through all this.
Lunch time came, and I opened the letter. It was from my Mum. How the hell had she tracked me down. She even knows about my other job! She doesn’t approve. Gee, why am I not surprised. What an anticlimax.
Late in the evening, I receive another letter. This one tells me to be prepared for anything. I decide on an early night. You know the thing about the best laid plans…
There’s a tap on my closet door which somehow startles the hell out of me. You’d think I’d be prepared for something like this. It’s the Kit Man. He tell me that I have to follow him. He leads me back towards the change rooms. I’m starting to feel a bit apprehensive about this, until he points to the opposite side of the stadium. It’s that girl again…What’s she doing here? Remember that present I was told to expect? Well, here it is. No you lushes, she’s here to whip me into shape. It seems I’ve no option in the matter. What’s the chances of the only girl I’ve ended up with so far is also a personal trainer. She says we’ll start in the new year, and if I don’t, she’s in trouble. It seems she got herself into trouble with The Couple as I’ve come to think of them too. At least hers is actually something she did. Those Bostords. She won’t tell me what it is. She’s tight lipped when I ask anything about us, and then brandishes the whip at me. I decide to step lightly for a time. We arrange a schedule.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 24, 2006 1:28:51 GMT
The new year brings new face to the club, and I’m not ready to see anything, especially early on New Years day. It starts off with someone. He’ll have to remain a blur. He says something. I throw-up. Uh, I wasn’t expecting his voice to have that affect on me. Bright, Gaudy, Jewelry was all I got. Whatever, leave me alone and stop making me throw-up. He’s a wise ass too, and tells me that I shouldn’t drink so much. I show him and throw up on his shoes. Wait, they’re mine. Oh yay. I drag myself back inside my closet, but before I do, I tell him that the dressing rooms is were the guy he is after is. Hah, If I have to suffer, so does someone else. It doesn’t quite work out that well for me, as two other guys turn up. You Ran Away From Her(DL,DM,ML, 31, £1k) and Marking His Territory(24, AMR, £1k) also annoy me. Why can’t anyone left me sleep in this morning. It’s definitely not going to happen this month, as another face turns up, Miles Of Raincoat(GK, 25, £1k) and then Mirky In The Depths(27, DM, £4k). I eventually woke up, and woke up too, in time for the friendlies and also to keep both my jobs. Though I soon regereted about waking up for some of the friendlies. These were against Partizan, CSKA(Sofia), Big Bull, Dorocol and Cement(B). Red Star finally decide that they do want to friendly CSK, and they will do this before Big Bull. CSK are going to be half a slut this friendly experience according to the The Board. Oh yay, oh joy, I’ll bring an umbrella. There was a transfer out too, but it wasn’t that important; Douse The Medic decided that Srem were a better alternative than CSK, and Srem thought that he was worth dishing out £250k out for him, with 50% of his next transfer also going to CSK. Lucky for CSK, they had just signed another right fullback, though its debatable whether he is any good; ie Bright, Gaudy, Jewelry.
All of the new transfers turned up the day before the first friendly, which was useful for Youth. He must have worked miracles to get them to come here. What am I saying, I’m here, and under more of my freewill than they are.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 24, 2006 1:30:29 GMT
The friendlys were thankfully sensibly at Stadion Pivare, making the palyers earn some of the money they were payed during the midseason break.
Ultimately CSK fans were happy to see half the friendlies that were shown, and I think that was about right, considering I went to all of them.
Partizan in the end was a great game to come away with. A 1-1 draw was a fantastic result, especially as it was really a tale of 2 halves, and not just because it was a goal a half and CSK scored in the second half either. Partizan scored within the first minute, a very silly one. Pleased? Oh yes. We returned the favour in the second half, Doing Jenny the hero knocking in new recruits ball, Mirky In The Depths. CSK look competent taking possession from Partizan. I like how they played, and not just because of the possession in the second half(I expect the subs of Partizan to be better than mine and I made 10 subs), but the way the scrambled in the first half.
CSKA(Sofia) was ultimately a game that really irritated me. I felt that CSK should have won, as I loved the way they played, but ultimately left the game feeling ripped off. A 2nd minute penalty to CSK, knocked in by having-an-impact-in-the-friendlies Mirky In The Depths then saw the rest of the half become annoying, especially as CSK ended up going in level at the break, due to missed chances, and one taken in the 25th minute by the extra A and bracket mob. They ended up having to work for my disappointment even more so as CSK’s saw scorer shot in a shot that I almost dropped my drink for in the 54th minute. Before I comment on the 2 other goals in this game, I’ll say that Youth made changes in the same minute that CSK took the lead. The extra A and bracket took advantages if you looked at the end of game stats, but upon seeing the 2 other goals, would notice that ultimately the took advantage of hair tearing defending, with and equalizer in the 66th minute and then a winner in the 74th. Though pissed, I was happy that it was not much that separated a really small team in a lower league of S&G from a team in Bulgaria that competes in Europe.
Red Star were very annoying to sit through. The first minute saw the star of the top league show why, by taking less than a minute to find a goal. A very silly one defensively. No way do you just go, I’m going to leave the near post free, no matter the level. Red Star, even though having the lead, never look like they were comfortable defending it, but if the striker department was on the other foot, would have been spanked. I wish I could have said, and then some, but I’m not totally confident in my defense. The team went for it at the break, but ultimately having possession and chances, some decent, doesn’t equal equalizer. In this case, it led to a second for the Red team, a pissy 73rd minute one, defending a freekick the reason. Joy was felt after that, especially as it was definitely not deserved. The only thing I got from this game was that Red Star are really not as good as the score showed. i had a go at Youth after this result, and he actually almost thumped me one. I and he were pretty(we are!) ripped you should remember, and it was soon after the game. No, there aren’t any beaches near by, and yes, I know there are dealers, but we don’t dabble. Cynical types.
The last of the money spinners™ have finished, and Big Bull is CSK’s next opponent. A much needed goal was scored in the 7th minute by Sat On The Cat, followed by Doing Jenny ten minutes later. It was pleasing to see that the defense was working, especially after the early morning sale of Douse The Medic for a released amount of £250k, when they let in a week goal in the 20th minute. I became a frustrated spectator, even though I already was, but more so, until the 75th minute when Nematode Joy but us out of our misery. Burning Lazarus took MoM.
Dorocol were next, and this was a much more pleasing game, though not a surprising result, except score wise, as CSK left the game only winning by 2, as only a 20th and 53rd minute efforts by Sat On The Cat and Doing Jenny saw CSK leave with victory.
The last friendly is against Cement(B), and I was disappointed to sit in the crowd and witness this spectacle. Though CSK did win, they should have done much better, as their first actual shot on goal resulted in a goal, a 34th minute effort, that had already saw about 6 shots before miss, though some should have. It took until the 63rd minute to dispel Cement’s chances of anything from this game, as a few minutes after the subs in the 61st minute, Nematode Joy running from deep put the game out of reach. I wish I could have said the CSK players were interested in extending the lead after his, but I’d be lieing if I said this. Still, they won, and really did make sure that no decent or dangerous efforts on the CSK goal did result, while making a number of decent chances. Bring on the second half of the season.
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Post by coffers on Jul 24, 2006 8:01:29 GMT
As you said, roll on the second half. :thumb:
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Post by Sonic on Aug 1, 2006 1:57:44 GMT
There were a few upheavals before the season restarted, namely in the backroom staff, not the sweeping one. Croatian Donnie Darko joined, replacing Stitch You Up, Kidding, while No Worries Milkman is replaced with I Can Catch You. This slightly improves the backroom staff, while also bringing them up to being fulltime.
The first game to restart the league is against Jedinstvo(U). A neat 10th minute goal by Doing Jenny gets the game under way which is then doubled in the 22nd minute with a converted penalty by new boy You Ran Away From Her in the 22nd minute. It wasn’t pretty watching this game, even though there was a 2 goal buffer, which in my opinion should have been more. So, it’s not surprising that CSK leak a goal, a 59th minute one. What was disappointing was that it took until the 88th minute to find a 3rd. It took 20 try at goal to get these 3. :moop: CSK are now only 2nd by 1 point.
Lately my other job’s taken over my life, and I’m not getting much sleep. I think if I wasn’t holding a broom at times, I’d fall asleep sweeping out the dugout, which if you remember comes with a bed thanks to the Kitman. This means a bunch of time has blurred into itself and a couple of games have blur into each other. Don’t forget that I’m being tortured into ‘shape’ by my ‘ex-fling’. Some guys have all the luck :moop:
Right now I’d trade CSK’s form for mine, as even though I get to ‘escape’ by seeing them play, I still have to front up at the moonlighting, and the sweeping. Hey, that’s what I should do, become a sweeper. No, not that kind. I’ll need a bit of backing to start out, and I could use CSK as my business for these sweeps. Oh, yeah, I hadn’t thought about that. Muscle, guns and babes. Ok, I hear what your saying. I don’t?
“I don’t have to listen to this tripe” I say, and walk off, walking off on a bemused Kitman after he had woken me up after finding me in his bed one afternoon. He’d been wondering what those loud noises were, and thought that it was a sort of celebration going off every time CSK did something good in a game. Ok, scored a goal. OK, the ref blew the whistle, the linesman flagged or the announcer announced. What, you still don’t believe me? Feck off, I was just resting my eyes.
I’ll extrapolate. The Kitman is digging at me as he keeps hearing these noises, and it’s breaking his concentration while watching his beloved CSK play. He thought that first they had bought a new mascot under his nose again, and he thought this time it was a moose. After he’d bruised my ribs I told him to stop being silly and that have you ever seen a moose in S&G? A goose maybe, but not a moose. That was through CSK’s 2-0 win against Radniki (N), when Mirky In The Depths started his career at the club well by opening his account in the 18th minute, while Sat On A Cat doubled the tally right on the break. This game apparently could have gone either way. This was explained to me like I wasn’t there. Sheesh, some people.
The bloody Kitman, aka The Torturer, kept up with his I swear someone isn’t telling me something about these new club noises that are being aired during CSK games. It’s got to be a new Mascot! shtick, all through a consecutive run of 1-0 wins by CSK; Srem, a dire match won by CSK settled by an own goal by a fantastic backpass straight into Srem’s net ion the 43rd minute!; OFK Nis with a goal in the 24th minute by Sat On The Cat at home with another dire team performance; Vlasina was complete dominance settled by a 77th minute goal to A Very Fat Lubby, on for the badly timed injury of Burning Lazarus in the 42nd minute. He’ll be missed I was told later. Like I didn’t know he was CSK’s best defender.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 1, 2006 1:58:30 GMT
Unfortunately I didn’t sleep through the next game :moop: It was an away game to Cukaricki who I think were coming something like 4th at the time. Oh, the crowd go, as CSK miss a good opportunity. There was more jeering soon after this. We’ve only just kicked off. It took until the 13th minute to be stuffed, a piss weak goal was conceded. I almost offered my own services in goal to Youth after that one. It was frustrating watching the team chase the game after this. Credit to Youth that he didn’t lose his top until much later, at least until the break. I heard they had to paint the walls after that talk. It did have an effect, but he seemed to be standing on the touchline like a cage cat. He was growling things to the players, and though they were at least doing those things, they were doing the one thing he was getting them to produce, a goal. They were hopeless in front of it. He sat down in disgust in the 88th minute; 2nd shot on target of 3, 2 goals scored. Joy. They had to replaster the walls after this game. Luckily for CSK, this was an away game so they didn’t incur this expense. I had an early night. I didn’t work, nightmares kept occurring.
The club went quiet after this game. It was strange, they didn’t know how to react to this loss, as it was the first time in the league that the side had. The players showed that they had felt it, and so decided to give the fans something to remember. Oh how I wanted to kill them during this game. It looked like the team had put the loss against PSK behind them by deservedly opening the scoring in the 13th minute through Doing Jenny. It seems nothing was learnt from the last game as an equalizer was seen on 27. A quick tweak and CSK are back in the lead, and the few away fans cheer Marking His Territory knocking in a ball from Doing Jenny who was released by Very Sunny Cloudy Day who had set up the first. The game then became frustrating, and both sets of supporters became uneasy, which transferred to the pitch. This flowed into the second half, and it was CSK that were having the better of the game. It then should come as no surprise that the game was squared, with a 77th minute weakerrot. Youth was not happy, and it’s starting to become great fun watching him blow up in these moments. He was right though, as CSK should be leading, which meant that he had to risk all to get all from this game. The team responded, and they pushed forward, but once again just couldn’t work out what they had hit twice. That was until the whistle was about to be blown for fulltime. Making Merry made a hero of himself by sensationally knocking in a winning last gasp winner, once again from MoM Very Sunny Cloudy Day feeding the ball through. What a finish!
This game proved to have a historical out look in the end, as Very Sunny Cloudy Day gave CSK it’s very first 1st place in the player of the round. Well deserved. He also made it into the team of the round.
Fortunately the sweeping job had not been that demanding of late, and I’ve been able to rest. This meant I actually saw some of the next game. PSK visiting CSK, and it looked like PSK were playing with their team bus as a defense. That or my strikers have become a pile of poo. Probably the second one. Praise the lord, we’ve scored! No? Oh. It seems that the players haven’t learnt anything from the last game about letting in silly goals. You can have almost 60% of the possession, the majority of the chances, and still have bugger all to show for it, which kept on stuffing the team until the break, and then afterward(this time the bill went to CSK) right up until a tactic change occurred in the 64th minute. Making Merry was the greatful accepter, while recently subbed on substitute Releasing A Virus put CSK into the lead literally 3 minutes after coming on in the 66th minute, right after the equalizer. I was expecting a landslide, and obviously so did Youth after the second went in, so it was no surprise to no-one present on the day that he was as frustrated as the supporters that the score stayed the same. There’s a song written about this, I think it’s called, The song remains the same. Or something like that. Novi Pazar felt hard done by, and their fans let everyone know this.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 1, 2006 1:58:51 GMT
The rumour around the club recently is that there is no more part-time players or staff at the club, except those that are on youth contracts. Youth has signed a new contract, 3 years and the same wages. Wonderful and Suck Who? also sign fulltime contracts. I think they are the last ones on part-time contracts. It’s wrong, as Wonderful is somehow part-time. The Bostord, he’s done a divvy on the management. Class. Aparently the loaned out players are also part-timers, but they are getting TLed.
Napredak were the next to have the CSK tour bus visit them. Doing Jenny for me has been disappointing of late, but the disappointment was put aside as the scoring touch was found, and this gave his team the lead in the 10th minute. That goal was the only bright spot of the whole half. The second half was another affair, and largely disappointing. Doing Jenny got it off to the perfect start, as he extended CSK’s lead 3 minutes after the restart. That was the end of the beginning as Napredak pulled a goal back in the 53rd minute. That’s ok, but it made us feel nervous. That nervousness must have not also been felt by the fans of CSK upon the goal finding the net, as it directly lead to the equalizer. I didn’t feel it was deserved and decided that was a good time to find the bar. I’d been good for awhile now, and I wasn’t best pleased with this equalizing goal. I somehow stumbled onto the bus, and found that it was the CSK player’s bus. It was deathly quiet the whole way home, and I could understand how they felt. I don’t remember saying a word the whole trip. There were a lot of sch type noises.
I post my bulletin again, and it’s met with universal satisfaction, as Very Sunny Cloudy Day’s good performance in the last game was pleasingly noticed enough for him to be selected in the team of the round.
If that game was gutting to sit through, then the next game was bloody frustrating. The team was the (K) version of the Radnicki, and it saw them steal away from Stadion Pivare with a point. Yes, it was 0-0 draw, what with CSK having 60% of possession, but only 3 of 10 shots on, 6 corners and 83% of passes made. Yes, it was definitely a poor game to be a supporter if you were a CSK fan. 1575 fans shared my pain, well most of the 15 75 fans did.
Macva was another excuse to escape my mistress. Isn’t htat an interesting observation. Mistress. Now I know I need to get out of the situation I’m in. Macva couldn’t as the first half of this game was fantastic for CSK. It started in the 30th minute when Sassy Vicky hit in a freekick from the left side of the Macva goal. Nice. He doubled his tally by heading in a Releasing A Virus 3 minutes later, making that his 2nd assist of the game too. His hat-trick of assists was completed in the 44th minute when he set up Sat On A Cat. Nice. It shouldn’t be surprising that upon his substitution, the goals dried up, which also directly affected the entertainment value of the second half. Dull. Still, it was good to see CSK finally break the non win run.
Interestingly enough, Sassy Vicki who made third in the player of the round didn’t get a goal of the round. More to follow later about that tidbit. He and Flapping Bag Of Otters made the team of the week. Another thing to happened was the signing for next season of 16yr I Am A Numbnut.
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