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Post by Boony on Jun 28, 2006 16:05:48 GMT
Game details
Football Manager 2006 (patch 6.0.3, no data) Database size: Small Leagues: Serbia and Montenegro (full), Croatia (normal)
This thread will be mostly made up of translated extracts from the CSK Pivara fan's website.
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Post by Boony on Jun 28, 2006 16:08:04 GMT
New manager unveiledAfter guiding us through the nervewracking playoffs to promotion just days ago, our old manager has been been forced out of the club in favour of young, inexperienced upstart Jovan Bohunevic, just 27 years old. I caught up with young Bohunevic yesterday... Hi, I'm Ognjeslav Pantelic, editor of the CSK Pivara Celarevo fan's website. Pleased to meet you.Likewise. How are you finding your first few days in Celarevo?Well, I'm very pleased. I've always loved living in towns with their own brewery(*). Yes, we're very proud to be the home of Lav Pivo, the nation's favourite beer.The nation's favourite beer? Surely that's... Oh, right. Yes, we are the home of the nation's favourite beer. Anyway, I don't think many of our readers have heard of you before. Have you any previous experience?Plenty, but I'm looking forward to trying some Lav. I mean, sponsors of the national team, the domestic leagues, this football team. All that exposure must be worth something. Of course. But, actually, I was asking if you have any previous experience in managing a football team?Ah, right. Not as such. I mean, I've done all the usual computer simulations, dating back from Championship Manager 1, and I've listened to people waffling on about tactics and training schedules and the like, but I've never actually got my hands dirty with a proper team before. To be honest, I'm looking forward to it. I like the idea of bigging you guys up to the media, of hiring and firing players and staff. I wish the scout report facilities worked better around here, though. Don't we all. So, with no previous experience, how did you get this job?Well, that's up to your chairman. I just rang your reception and enquired about the job. It turns out that the old manager was happy to leave by mutual consent - I heard rumours about youth teams and... Yes, well, that's quite enough about that.Of course. Anyway, enthusiasm in the interview, and a winning smile, will get you a long way. So it seems. How did you come to know about the club?Last month, I was dozing in front of the TV when I was struck by an advert which managed to dig its way into full view through the Jelen Pivo haze. Ah, Jelen Pivo. You've all been there, I'm sure. No, we only drink Lav here.Ah, yeah, of course. Anyway... "Carlsberg," the TV said to me. "Carlsberg." The name rang deep in my subconcious. Ah, yeah, of course! I was struck. Epiphanised if you will. As you are no doubt aware, Carlsberg have been investing in the Celarevo brewery for a couple of years now, and they produce the all-pervasive Lav Pivo. As I've mentioned, a drink that sponsors the national team, domestic leagues, and the newly promoted CSK Pivara. Imagine that! A team sponsored by a local brewery! All the beer I could drink, and my own football team to play with. All my teenage dreams, resolved in an instant. Hang on, is this thing official? Well, no, but we're widely read by all CSK Pivara fansOh, ok. In that case, I'm very much looking forward to consolidating and building on all the good work done by the previous manager, and hopefully taking this team onwards into the Super League in years to come. The beer is very much a secondary consideration. I'm glad to hear it. So, what do you think you can bring to the team during your tenure?Oh, my management style is very much "don't piss me off, or you'll be sorry", but I'm generally loyal to my players. I like attacking football, but I'm well aware of the need to build from the back and make sure we don't concede too many goals. I haven't seen the squad yet, but I hope they're big, strong and quick, as I think we'll need to be physically strong to pull off some results in this league. Indeed. Anyway, thank you for your time. We're glad to have you on board. Good luck for the season, and I'm sure we'll meet up again soon.Yes, thank you. Goodbye.
(*) First beer reference came in the eighth sentence, which is disappointing for Hornet, as he had three in the sweepstake.
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Post by coffers on Jun 28, 2006 16:40:05 GMT
It's an interesting angle, I didn't realise this lot would come with fans. KUTPTWOTEW! :thumb: (Pulling The Wool Over Their Eyes)
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Post by Moo on Jun 28, 2006 18:33:16 GMT
Worst.
Thread.
Ever.
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 11:13:58 GMT
Bohunevic's Contract
News has been leaked that new manager Bohunevic is on 35,000 Serbian Dinar a week, on a one year contract. His transfer budget for the season is CSD 7.5m, with a weekly wage budget of CSD 600k. Less than half of this is being used at the moment, and Bohunevic has been heard to comment that he is pleased with the room for manouevre within these budgets.
The board have issued a statement saying that they expect the club to fight bravely against relegation, and Bohunevic has issued a statement saying he should think so too, with five left backs in the squad.
Snoops at the training ground report that Bohunevic spent yesterday giving players their own special names, working out where they play best, and seeing what they bring to these positions. More detail to follow, but he seems particularly pleased with on loan Vis-a-Vis, who plays in the hole behind the striker, and is technically sound with a decent physique. Early rumours are that the coach favours playing in a 4-1-3-1-1 system with a narrow midfield.
Bohunevic has been heard to wonder how much a Serbian Dinar is actually worth, where the beer is, and what the hell to do with his coaches.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 29, 2006 11:19:58 GMT
Yes, yes. But how many arrows will you be using?
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 11:25:14 GMT
Two to begin with, the future is yet to be told. They will be short, straight, and neither up nor down.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 29, 2006 11:29:09 GMT
Saucy.
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Post by elth on Jun 29, 2006 11:34:14 GMT
Arrows?
I don't hold no truck with no arrows.
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 11:42:52 GMT
Then you'll fail, Elth. It's all about the arrows, everyone knows that.
The author of that article sounds like he knows too much, maybe even a bit of insider knowledge. More likely some inside 'im knowledge though, as the manager takes it up the minghole, I heard.
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 11:47:43 GMT
The author and the manager have a, um, special relationship.
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 11:51:14 GMT
A closed hand hurts more than an open one?
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 13:14:50 GMT
All good things come to those who bend over. Especially when it's proportional representation rather than fist past the post.
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 13:17:10 GMT
Pops:
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 14:05:25 GMT
Can we stop the anal penetration "jokes", please? This is a wholesome thread, about a wholesome football team. They don't want to hear your dirty, sordid "jokes", and neither do I.
We have off-topic forums, you know.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 14:10:01 GMT
On-topic ones are borung.
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Post by coffers on Jun 29, 2006 14:15:05 GMT
Huh? What was that? I thought I just saw Brighton?
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 14:19:54 GMT
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 14:22:59 GMT
You couldn't have. No fat canutes in Hawaiian shirts around here.
Unless you count s1ut in his Fimbles pyjamas.
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 14:35:05 GMT
Does Hornet have a Hawaiian mu-mu? Would that count?
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Post by Sonic on Jun 30, 2006 0:40:29 GMT
I'd be a bit more worried if Meej's Beer Ass Man started showing up in Boony's thread.
Nice start there Boo.
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Post by Boony on Jul 3, 2006 9:19:57 GMT
I've played two friendlies, lost one (1-0) and drawn one (1-1) stop I sold a striker for 2.4m dinar, with a further 6m if he scores 10 league goals stop The fans website is down, so I'm sending this by telegram stop
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Post by Moo on Jul 3, 2006 10:29:24 GMT
You're a tart stop
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 3, 2006 10:29:43 GMT
Easy on the detail there big fella. If Coffers' wheelbarrow thread is "brief" then this must be "Tanga."
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Post by Boony on Jul 3, 2006 10:31:45 GMT
Moo just posted a screenshot after 10 games. That's what I call brief.
Tanga?
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