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Post by coffers on Feb 3, 2006 17:40:34 GMT
2006: More League and Cup Action:The news of my contract acceptance is greeted with delight in the boardroom and goalkeeper Snooker Loopy is moved to announce that he is glad the board has seen sense to renew and improve my contract. It appears that the Malta job has gone to Daniel Grima, why do these later versions of FM never tell you when you don't succeed with a job application for a National team? Grindavik make an enquiry about Scratched Bit, so I tell them I want £1.5M plus 35% of any future transfer fee, I think it will put them off, but if they can come up with that sort of money I might just trade. As I expected it scared them off. Cyborg resumes full training. 2006 World Cup Semi FinalsEngland 1 Italy 0 (Darren Bent scored the winner after 13 minutes) Portugal 2 Poland 0 2006 World Cup 3rd Place play-OffItaly 2 Poland 0 2006 World Cup FinalEngland 0 Portugal 3 (Luis Boa Morte scored Portugal's 3rd goal) Storm In A Teacup picks up another thigh strain and will be out for up to 4 weeks. Our 65 year old second Ass-man Old Boss Hogg has set his sights on retirement when the season ends. Grommit and Boris resume training. KR are made 4-7 favourites and our odds of 4-1 look like giving me another chance to clean up. Fjolnir vs KR, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's: Hide Away & Extreme Santa, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Sky Train & Almost A Munster (severe Singlet 76), AMR: Charmed Existence (Jammy Forefinger 45), AML: Foghorn, ST: BMX Flyer (Grommit 89). 15/07/2006 H. KR (Icelandic Premier Division) - What a disappointing game this was, all I can say about the first half is lazy and slapdash. KR took a 1-0 lead into the break courtesy of a 17th minute penalty given away by Charmed Existence. Whilst I thought the performance was bad we didn't deserve to go in behind. A few words were said during the interval and in the second period our ideas bucked up. Unfortunately their keeper had one of those days where he got in the way of everything. BMX Flyer got the equaliser on 67, heading in a Cyborg cross form around the penalty spot, it was his 25th goal of the season. KR's penalty was their only shot of the game. To say I was hacked off is an under statement, Drew 1-1, Attendance 2716. Weather: Dry 75°f. MOM Their Goalie (8). The media were impressed with our draw, claiming we pinned KR back in their own half for long periods, the KR manager launched scathing attack on his own players after the game, so it wasn't just me who was peeved then. At least we maintained our unbeaten record, the media are still hinting that they don't think our good run at the top will last. The League Table At the Half Way Stage Of The Season: Valur are set as 4-5 favourites to win our Cup tie, whereas we have odds of 3-1. After the last debacle decide to only back my coat on us rather then the shirt off my back. Valur vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's: Hide Away & Extreme Santa, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Sky Train (Jammy Forefinger 20) & Boris, AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn (Severe Singlet 89), ST: BMX Flyer (Grommit 89). 19/07/2006 A. Valur (Icelandic Cup Quarter Final) - We got off to a Flyer in this one, Darned Critter hammered home a 25 yard free kick after only 1 minute 10 seconds. From that moment on we looked in complete control, Sky Train was bossing t he midfield and BMX Flyer was causing panic whenever he got the ball. The disaster struck, Sky Train was injured on 20 minutes and had to be replaced by Jammy Forefinger. Our game started to fall apart, we were losing the midfield and our passes out of defence started going astray. It took Valur only 8 minutes from Sky Train's departure to equalise a pass into our box found Sveinsson unmarked and he netted the easiest of chances. We battled and struggled for the rest of the half and maintained the status quo. Words of encouragement were offered at the break, you only need one goal was my parting shot. BMX Flyer provided it 3 minutes after the break, their keeper dallied too long on the ball, BMX pounced and it was 2-1. Their was plenty of effort in the remainder of the game but nothing much to show for it as the midfield battle raged. BMX Flyer nearly got another in injury time, their keeper racing back from a cleared corner was grateful to see his 65 yard hump scrape inches wide of the left post. Won 2-1, Attendance 908. Weather: Dry 73°f. MOM Boris (8). Sky Train has fractured his ribs and could be out for up to 2 months. The board were happy as we had beaten our rivals, the press reported on a close hard fought game in which Valur looked strangely lacklustre. On being asked what I thought about the Valur manager I claimed that he had magical powers, the rest of Iceland could look on in amazement as he made his side disappear from the Premier league. That might come back to haunt me as we face them again in a few days tie, this time in a league encounter. We are drawn at home to face KR or Keflavik in the semi-final. I also take time out to praise Boris to the media as his recent performances have been of a high standard, our fans concur. The bookies apply the same odds to this game as they did to the last. Fjolnir vs Valur, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's: Hide Away & Severe Singlet, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Almost A Munster & Boris, AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn, ST: BMX Flyer. 19/07/2006 H. Valur (Icelandic Premier League) - Yet another shoddy performance, we seem to be making life hard for ourselves at the moment. Valur scored the only goal of the first half on 36 minutes, Foghorn gave the ball away in the centre of the pitch, they broke and scored all too easily. There were tongue lashings in order at half time and the lads were told about playing for the pride of the shirt. It worked in that the work rate went up, and Valur were put on the back-foot at last. On 51 Boris put a great ball into the area and Foghorn at the back post lashed in the equaliser. That was it plenty more effort but not enough real chances were created. We kept the ball, Valur kept it tight. To be honest I was so depressed about the performance I told the team that the result was an embarrassment. Drew 1-1, Attendance 2250. Weather: Dry 78°f. MOM Their Stiker (8). After the game I tell their manager that I think his side will have a tough fight on their hands if they want to avoid relegation. One of their team admits that they were fortunate to get a draw. With the team looking jaded, we now at least have a week to recover from recent exertions. exhausted Pipe is sent home with a cold for a week. As transfer deadline day approaches I decide to lash out £5k on a Swedish AM/RC, 23yo Ingenious Variable. I hope he will bolster the midfield in the absence of Sky Train, he'll join on a full time contract from Bunkeflo IF: Our odds for the away game at Grindavik are 7-2 against the win, Grindavik are favourites 4-6. Grindavik vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's (Entebbe Raider 74), Hide Away & Extreme Santa, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Eye of A Dalek (Jammy Forefinger 63) & Boris, AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn, ST: BMX Flyer (Grommit 74). 29/07/2006 A. Grindavik (Icelandic Premier League) - This was more like it, at least the first half saw us return to what we were capable of, with a little help from lady luck, and defensive incompetence from Grindavik. On 6 Boris broke down the left and floated a ball towards the back post, the keeper watched helplessly as it floated over his head struck the post and ended behind the line, it was Boris's first ever goal for the club. On 23 a long back pass from the half way line was mis-controlled by the keeper and BMX Flyer didn't need asking twice to make it 2-0. On 32 Bangoura hit a 35 yard back pass, the only problem was the keeper wasn't where he thought he was, 3-0. On 36 BMX Flyer hit a hard low ball across the box and Charmed Existence notched his 5th of the season at the back post. The luck and incompetence disappeared i n the second period, so although we controlled the play nothing further of note happened. Won 4-0, Attendance 336. Weather: Dry 75°f. MOM Charmed Existence (10). The media reported that the underdogs savaged their more illustrious opponents, the directors are delighted and I take time out to praise Foghorn, who has put in a couple of really good displays in the last two games, his fans applaud the praise and admit to enjoying his displays.
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Post by coffers on Feb 4, 2006 23:25:24 GMT
2006: And Into August We Go:
The profit for July was £26.54k, our directors continue to be delighted, but whatever happens now we finish the season with the players we have got, as the transfer deadline has passed. Storm In A Teacup resumes training. Fylkir are 4-7 favourites in our next game, we attract generous odds of 4-1. It;s time to see what we've got in our recent sining,so Ingenious Variable is named in the starting line-up.
Fylkir vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's Entebbe Raider & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Ingenious Variable & Boris, AMR: Charmed Existence (Raffia Pudding 11, Almost A Munster 57), AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 61), ST: BMX Flyer.
05/08/2006 A. Fylkir (Icelandic Premier League) - Fylkir start brightly but it's Fjolnir that gets off to a flyer, Hide Away's long pass through the middle puts BMX Flyer in the clear a jink right a jink left, another jink right and the ball is stroked into the net with the keeper wrong footed. On 11 Charmed Existence is injured and replaced by Raffia Pudding and the rest of the half is hard fought and even. Encouragement is passed on at the break. Six minutes in and BMX Flyer puts Foghorn in the clear, he holds off a couple of challenges but sees his shot parried by the keeper, but Raffia Pudding is following up and manages to squeeze the ball home whilst under pressure. six minutes later the scorer is led off after a heavy challenge. He's replaced by Almost A Munster. Roasted Rasta replaced Foghorn on 61. Five minutes from time a simple pass from Almost A Munster opens up the goal for BMX Flyer, he calmly slots in from 16 yards to complete the scoring. Won 3-0, Attendance 1391. Weather: Dry 78°f. MOM BMX Flyer (9).
We will meet Keflavik in the Icelandic Cup Semi-Final. Raffia Pudding has bruised ribs and could be out for 2 weeks, Charmed Existence has a facial injury and also could be out for 2 weeks. Boris has sprained his wrist and you've guessed it could miss 2 weeks worth of training and Used Crash Dummy has a strained thigh and could be out for 4 weeks. That was one heavy game, the press report that we eased our way to victory, Ingenious Variable put in an excellent performance which I indicated to the press and hoped that he would be able to make a success of himself at the club, for some reason this seemed to upset him, he seemed to think that I may b expecting too much from him. The directors are chuffed to say the least.
Chelsea continue to dominate the trophies in England, this time they beat Arsenal 3-1 in the Community Shield. Cyborg joins the injury list with a bruised thigh, he'll be out of action for up to 2 weeks. FH are made 1-3 favourites for our game odds of 7-1 tempt me to chance a couple of grand on the outcome.
Fjolnir vs FH, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Scratched Bit (Entebbe Raider 70), DL: Roasted Rasta (Magnified Eye 70), DC's Severe Singlet & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Almost A Munster & Jammy Forefinger, AMR: Ingenious Variable, AML: Foghorn (Eye Of A Dalek 77), ST: BMX Flyer.
13/08/2006 H. FH (Icelandic Premier League) - A hard fought match against our nearest challengers and we won. We could have been 2-0 down in the first 5 minutes but for Shouting At Wolves pulling off a couple of incredible save. Instead, on 7 BMX Flyer was put in the clear down the right by Scratched Bit, he ran unchallenged with the ball, cut inside and thumped the ball into the left hand corner. The game became a war zone, by the 30th minute we had 4 players carrying injuries, I dreaded to think what our injury list would be like by the end of the game, but we held out to the break. It was more of the same in the second half. It has to be said that I was relieved when BMX Flyer robbed their centre back on the halfway line and promptly ran the ball towards the keeper before calmly slotting passed the advancing keeper. Stubborn defending and an inspired Shouting At Wolves kept FH at bay. Thankfully there were no more injuries, just tired bodies. Won 2-0, Attendance 1699. Weather: Dry 62°f. MOM BMX Flyer (9).
Now the bad news; Foghorn out 2 weeks with a bruised rib and Roasted Rasta is out 2 weeks with a bruised shin, thankfully the other two injuries proved to be minor. The win pleased the board no end, but the fans admitted that though the score would suggest otherwise, the game was deceptively even, that I had to agree with. With injuries piling up to some major players, 8 at present, we have at least got a 9 point advantage at the top of the table and there are only 5 games to play. It's not a good way to prepare for a cup semi final which is due to take place in 3 days time. The injury list increases to 10 as Free Loafer joins it for a week with a bruised thigh, this one makes little difference anyway as he's ineligible to play any senior games due to his age. Keflavik are made 4-6 favourites and this time the bookies could be correct in their assessment of our chances we are given odds of 7-2.
Fjolnir vs Keflavik, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Extreme Santa, DL: Magnified Eye, DC's Severe Singlet & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Eye Of A Dalek (Exhausted Pipe 68) & Jammy Forefinger, AMR: Ingenious Variable, AML: Almost A Munster (Scratched Bit 68), ST: BMX Flyer (Storm In A Teacup 86). 16/08/2006 N. Keflavik (Icelandic Cup Semi Final) - With all our injuries and some of the lads were looking somewhat tired from their exploits, we were especially weak in the midfield department and I was expecting a difficult game. I was pleasantly surprised that it was Keflavik that got the difficult game. We went about them as if our lives depended on it, Keflavik seemed as if they were playing for a draw and they fended off attack after attack, until in the 36th minute, Magnified Eye cleared towards the centre circle, Ingenious Variable headed on and BMX Flyer picked it up. Everyone thought he'd make straight for goal, but he ran wide and then crossed from the left, Ingenious Variable threw himself at the ball as it came across the box and, with a diving header opened the scoring, and registered as his first Fjolnir goal. ON 39 sensing a back pass was in the offing BMX Flyer made tracks towards the keeper, the defender hesitated and then passed back, the keeper panicked, mis-controlled and BMX pounced, 2-0 to the yellow and blacks, Keflavik were reeling. We kept up the pressure in the second period but Keflavik defended well and with our midfield tiring, Keflavik broke on 67 and and plundered a goal. A couple of changes to shore up the wilting midfield and we started to get back in control. On 86 I threw Storm In A Teacup on and his impact was immediate, from a throw-in deep in our territory he played a great ball down the right wing, Ingenious Variable latch on to it, and ran to the by-line before crossing, three of our lads were queuing up but Jammy Forefinger got to it first to record his first Fjolnir goal ever. Game Over. Won 3-1, Attendance 433. Weather: Dry 71°f. MOM Magnified Eye (9).
Were through to the final where we will meet Fylkir, The performance was polished and we could have easily won by more and the news reports said so. The board are delighted and the fans respond positively in their droves to a previous statement I had made about how well Shouting With Wolves was playing recently. IBV are sniffing around trying to unsettle Entebbe raider but they'll have to pay if they want his services. Charmed Existence has now resumed full training, he might have a fight on his hands now because Ingenious Variable has been playing really well, ratings of a 9 and two 8's are testament to that. Our next match is against our last opponents, Keflavik, we're on our own patch but the bookies odds haven't changed since the last game. Extreme Santa is attracting interest from Gefle and Ingenious Variable is being watched by Elfsborg.
Fjolnir vs Keflavik, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Scratched Bit, DL: Entebbe Raider, DC's Extreme Santa & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Ingenious Variable & Jammy Forefinger, AMR: Charmed Existence (Severe Singlet 57), AML: Almost A Munster (Boris 75), ST: BMX Flyer (Storm In A Teacup 45). 19/08/2006 H. Keflavik (Icelandic Premier Division) - This was the game I expected last week, hard and close, we couldn't make any oppression on their defence in the first period but they in their turn failed to make any on ours. It was no surprise that the half ended goal-less. As the second half progressed in the same way the first half had changes were made. It wasn't until our final change on 75 that we started to get somewhere. Finally on 79 Entebbe Raider won the ball from a Keflavik throw in and sent a cross in to the edge of the area, Ingenious Variable got up to head powerfully goal-wards, the keeper could only parry it out, Storm In A Teacup was in like a shot to tap in from close range. Four minutes later Scratched Bit hoofed a clearance from our penalty area into the Keflavik half, Storm In A Teacup chased it down before the Keflavik defence could respond, he held off two chasing defenders and rounded the keeper to register his 10th goal of the season. That well and truly killed off our opponents. Won 2-0, Attendance 1691. Weather: Dry 73°f. MOM Scratched Bit (8).
A national newspaper reported that the difference between the two sides was the quality of finishing, it did help a bit that we had twice as many chances as they did too. Cyborg has resumed training, so the run in is looking better and better. One leading newspaper is touting Hide Away as a leading contender to win the Icelandic player of the year award, he admitted that he had been pleased with his own form this season and it would be a great honour indeed if he should win the coveted award. Despite being 2nd bottom in the table our next opponents, Vikingur are made 4-5 favourites to win so I happily slap a grand on us to win at 3-1. There is some real banter going on in the aftermath of the previous game.
Vikingur vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Entebbe Raider (Scratched Bit 64), DC's Extreme Santa & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Ingenious Variable & Boris Severe Singlet 64), AMR: Charmed Existence (Jammy Forefinger 64), AML: Almost A Munster, ST: BMX Flyer. 23/08/2006 A. Vikingur (Icelandic Premier Division) - We were dreadful in the first half, Vikingur started out as if they were the league leaders and we looked nervous as if relegation was staring us in the face. It was no surprise when Vikingur tool the lead on 13 minutes, they just worked the ball through a totally static defence. How we hung on to keep the score down I'll never know, luckily with 3 minutes of the first half left, a route one long ball by Extreme Santa caught Vikingur on the hop, BMX Flyer raced through and catching the keeper off his line chipped the ball into the net from 25 yards. We deserved to be losing but at the break we were lucky to be going in level. Some strong words were said to certain players, but others were encouraged to do better. It must have worked as our performance improved no end in the second period, it couldn't have got worse. On 63 Charmed Existence intercepted a throw-in and sent the ball down the right, it was picked up by BMX Flyer, he cut in and lashed a superb shot into the left hand corner of the net. That signaled changes to freshen up some tired legs. On 68 a poor kick out from the keeper was headed back by Jammy Forefinger, BMX Flyer was in attendance and lamped a shot from 12 yards into the right corner of the goal, for his hat-trick, it was also his 35th goal of the season. Vikingur weren't finished, on 74 they broke through the middle and pulled a goal back, it was lazy play that allowed them to get through in the first place, I was worried that we were going backwards again. Thankfully things tightened up and we held on to the lead to being the title that bit closer. Won 3-2, Attendance 471. Weather: Dry 73°f. MOM BMX Flyer (9).
The press thought we deserved our win, in reality I didn't, however the directors were over the moon as we'd beaten our local rivals. We still have a 9 point lead over second placed FH, but now there are only 3 games to go, a point will win us the title, and add the second leg to a possible Icelandic treble. Realistically the title is ours, as we have a goal difference of +29 compared to FH's +12 and it will take a total disaster to lose the title with that sort of lead.
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Post by coffers on Feb 5, 2006 1:46:15 GMT
2006: he League and Cup Are Decided:Bragging With Whores resumes training and immediately damages his foot, that's him out again, for up to 4 weeks, Scratched Bit injures his heel in the same incident, he'll be out for 2 weeks. Chelsea beat Milan on penalties in the European Super Cup Final. Third placed IA are made 1-2 favourites for our forthcoming clash, at 9-2 I was tempted to put my entire winnings from last weeks bet on us to win, but I suspected there might be a dip in form in this game, so didn't. BMX Flyer calls on his team mates to win the league in style with a win against high flying IA. Some of the lads look as if they are feeling the pressure, in private meetings they have admitted that they hope that they won't let the team down in the title challenge. IA vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Magnified Eye, DC's Extreme Santa & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Ingenious Variable (Jammy Forefinger 59) & Boris, AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 70), ST: BMX Flyer (Storm In A Teacup 59). 27/08/2006 A. IA (Icelandic Premier Division) - You could sense the tension in the dressing room before kick-off, I tried to ease the pressure on the lads before kick off, but it obviously didn't work. No one wanted to put a foot wrong it consequently made for a 0-0 bore draw. There was hardly any action worthy of note at either end. The draw was good enough to win the championship and I'll take that. Drew 0-0, Attendance 1722. Weather: Dry 63°f. MOM Extreme Santa (8). The result was a fair reflection of a tedious game, it wasn't quite the cavalier style with which we would have liked to win the title, but a point is enough and I'm well pleased that the pressure is now off us. The fans were ecstatic and were taking about petitioning the mayor to give me freedom of the city. The board were ecstatic too and claimed that anything seemed possible whilst I was leading the team. Even recent signing Ingenious Variable joined in the praise directed in my direction. Really Dim has a chest injury from over exertion in the weights room, he'll be out for up to 4 weeks. The Icelandic Premiership Is Ours:Now For The Cup FinalUsed Crash Dummy resumes full training, but is it too late for the Cup final? Whatever, Fylkir are made 4-5 favourites, we have odds of 3-1. I decide to risk a couple of grand on the outcome. No matter what happens, it will be another historic day, as it is the first Icelandic Cup Final that Fjolnir will have appeared in, the fans are secretly thanking BMX Flyer's goals for getting us there. Fjolnir vs Fylkir, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy (Entebbe Raider 45), DC's Extreme Santa & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Ingenious Variable & Almost A Munster, AMR: Charmed Existence (Boris 70), AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 70), ST: BMX Flyer. 30/08/2006 N. Fylkir (Icelandic Cup Final) - The first period was a complete non-event with both teams seemingly suffering big day nerves. At the break there were no recrimination's, just some advice that all it would take would be to score one goal, from their we could go from strength to strength. It worked a treat. We upped the tempo and Fylkir looked uneasy, on 57 Almost A Munster played a ball into the area, Foghorn picked it up and lashed home inside the left post. On 66 Cyborgs cross to the edge of the box was headed in by Foghorn and IA were collapsing before everyones eyes. Seven minutes from the end the collapse was complete as BMX Flyer collected a pass from Boris, beat two men and then the goalie before slipping the ball into an empty net. IA were finished and they knew it. Won 3-0, Attendance 5636 Weather: Dry 71°f. MOM BMX Flyer (8). For winning the Cup we received a prize of £12,000, the fans in a jubilant mood proclaimed me one of the best managers around, the directors thanked me for bringing the club this unexpected success. Cyborg reached a yellow card limit and will be suspended for one game, The double was celebrated in style, no one mentioned the treble. But the media proclaimed our win as comfortable and deserved.
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Post by coffers on Feb 5, 2006 1:47:06 GMT
PS. 2Mb broadband is installed at home and it flies.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 6, 2006 1:22:29 GMT
OAP, who can now do this twice as fast as he's now 'connected' :checkit: Did you have a marathon session recently, or is it really easy to get through the Icelandic league quickly. Poland did well in that WC. Too bad about the retirement of your wanted to be back-up, but there is always a chance now of signing a decent coach as well as they being a back-up or even better. Poof.
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Post by coffers on Feb 6, 2006 8:51:48 GMT
Marathon sessions on Friday and Saturday were the order of the day, nothing yesteday though.
The one bad thing about Iceland is; I'll now have to wait until the next season is almost over before we take our place in the European competition, that I guess we will be competing in as a result of winning the league.
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Post by coffers on Feb 6, 2006 17:59:55 GMT
September 2006 The League Season Draws to a Close:As the new month dawns our directers inform me that they are still in a state of delight with my perfomance. Good, they also announce a profit of £52.35k for the last month which is also good. Physio, One Arse reports that Charmed Existence is suffering from shin splints and will be out for up to a month, that's effectively him gone for the rest of the season. Magnified Eye is another player who is going to miss the remaaining action this season, he has a hip injury and has been bundled off to see a specialist for 3 months. Dirty Porthole who's useless anyway will be out for 4 weeks with a twisted knee, but Scratched bit is back in training. Meanwhile in the world of international football thw qualifying rounds for Euro 2008 get underway, England open with a 2-0 away win at Belarus and a 3-0 home win against Azerbaijan, others in our group are Poland (again), Belgium, Georgia and Ukraine. Scout Incomplete Angel retires and physio Dusted Cream also retired and left the club. KR are made 4-7 favourites for our clash and we are 4-1 outsiders, but who cares, we've won the league and they haven't. KR vs Fjolnir, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves (Snooker Loopy 38), DR: Entebbe Raider, DL: used Crash Dummy, DC's Extreme Santa & Hide Away, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Jammy Forefinger & Boris, AMR: Ingenious Variable, AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 75), ST: BMX Flyer (Storm In A Teacup 38). 10/09/2006 A. KR (Icelandic Premier Division) - We kicked off, KR won the ball and had taken the lead by the 32nd second. It was as if the team didn't care anymore, KR wanted the game more than we did, we didn't look like scoring until, due to injuries, a couple of changes were made just before half time. Three minutes before the break, Ingenious Variable got Storm In A Teacup away and he lashed the ball in from 16 yards, so at least we went in level. I decided to try encouragement in the team talk, but it didn't work. KR came out firing on all cylinders an we looked like a old banger. there was lot's of tactical jiggering during the second period all to no avail, it looked like we had a point salvaged though, until Snooker Loopy came for a cross he should have left, on 81 minutes, A KR striker got there before him and the ball was in the net before anyone could recover. Disappointing was the last word as we left the dressing room, I couldn't bring myself to blasting them, but maybe I should have. Lost 2-1, Attendance 2536. Weather: Wet 51°f. MOM Storm In A Teacup (8). Bridge Hag goes down with a shoulder injury and could be out for up to 2 months. The press reported taht KR eased past us and always had enough in the tank to deal with any threat. I had to agree but told their boss that I wasn't too downhearted following the result. Looking at the Ass-man team report, I had to laugh, he is still saying that we need to strengthen if we are to avoid relegation. He's right though we do need to strengthen, we need a good DC and a good Left Sided central midfielder, Boris is ok, but he's only 2* quality as is Extreme Santa. Vikingur and IBV are relegated from the Premiership, we meet IBV at home in the final match. It would be an embarassment to lose that one. BMX Flyer goes down with an injured foot, he'll be out for 4 weeks, and Hide Away will miss 2 weeks with a bruised head. I think something nasty is brewing and maybe I aught to take a look at the training work load for nrxt season, the amount of injuries we've had seems a bit ridiculous, we had 10 players out injured at one point during the season, at the moment 9 are listed injured. Þrótter win promotion to the Premier League. The bookies have made us evens favoutites to beat relegated IBV in the final match of the season, IBV's odds are rather poor value at 9/4. Fjolnir vs IBV, Starting Line-up: GK: Shouting At Wolves, DR: Cyborg, DL: used Crash Dummy (Entebbe Raider 58), DC's Extreme Santa & Framed For Posterity, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Jammy Forefinger & Boris, AMR: Ingenious Variable, AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 58), ST: Storm In A Teacup (Grommit 58). 16/09/2006 H. IBV (Icelandic Premier Division) - A typical end of season match where neither side had anything to play for other than pride. In the first half, despite dominating, we showed none. But at the break I just told the team tah we can win the game just show some more desire. IBV looked a beaten team and we had done anything yet. The second period was more of the same until the changes were rung ust before the hour mark. It was a signal for us to up the tempo and move the ball that bit faster. Moaning striker Grommit though didn't look too interested though. It was left to Ingenious Variable to open the scoring on 72 after collecting from Cyborg, he hit a low angled drive which skimmed across the wet serface and beat the keeper all hands up. Six minutes later, just as I was pencilling in Grommit for the transfer list he popped up and headed home a Roasted Rasta cross from 12 yards. We just took our foot off the gas for the remainedr of the game. At least we ended the season with a win, even if it didn't matter. Won 2-0, Attendance 177. Weather: Wet 57°f. MOM Cyborg (8). Sky Train resumes training as the media report on an easy victory, forged out of better use of the ball. Whilst we were waiting for the last game to be played Framed Fr Posterity went AWOL from training and got an official warning for unprofessional behaviour. He will also get put on the transfer list, he only had to wait a day and the end of season break would have started anyway. In the final game of the season, 2nd placed FH beat 3rd placed IA 3-0. The Final Table For The 2006 Season: Oh the prize for finishing 1st in the league is an astounding £12,000. That'll go a long way. :humb: Framed For Posterity apologised for his absence and said it wouldn't happen again. Bragging With Whores resumed training.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 6, 2006 23:36:19 GMT
Congrats on winning the league. A real poofy league at that, £12,000 I agree with the injuries, they're a bit ridiculous, and I've never seen so many bruised heads, cuts and things like that. Especially the length of them.
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Post by coffers on Feb 7, 2006 8:23:24 GMT
Congrats on winning the league. A real poofy league at that, £12,000 I also got the same amount, £12,000, for winning the Icelandic Cup. It's no wonder Icelandic teams do nothing in Europe IRL. I'll probably stick this out for another season just to see how far we can get in Europe. Once the season begins it's quite fun, but the lengthy close season is extremely borong, that's why I arranged so many friendlies, but they get tedious in the end, as they are just a means to keep some money flowing and keep the players fit.
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Post by coffers on Feb 7, 2006 12:53:30 GMT
Arthritic Gadgie Stats for the 2006 season:
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Post by coffers on Feb 7, 2006 14:54:43 GMT
September 2006 The Close Season:
Darned Critter comes second in the Icelandic Player of the Year awards which obviously was a fix as the player who won it wasn't even close to Critters average rating of 7.94 per match. Obviously I wasn't surprised to be presented with the Manager of the Year trophy.
The following players were named in the Icelandic team of the year: Shouting At Wolves (GK), Extreme Santa (DRC), Hide Away (DC), Used crash Dummy (DL), Darned Critter (DMC), Boris (MLC), Foghorn (AM/LC) and BMX Flyer (ST).
BMX Flyer took the Young Player of the Year award, Used Crash Dummy came in second. BMX Flyer also won the Icelandic Golden Boot with the 14 league goals that he scored during the season.
Darned Critters 40 yard goal against Grindavik on 7th June was placed 3rd in the goal of the season competition.
Boris, Magnified Eye and Extreme Santa sign up to full time contracts, but Eye Of A Dalek claims that he wants to stay part-time and then promptly surprises me by signing a full time contract fro a little bit more than I originally offered. A new Physio joins the merry band on a part time basis, he's English, he's 41 and his name is: Mote In Gods Eye.
Three Coaches who make no difference to any training whatsoever are released on mutual agreement terms, AOL Expert, Curried Skunk and Empty Stetson all leave the club, costing us a total of £14k in contract termination terms, which is £7k less than it would have cost if I'd just sacked them all, or kept them on the wage bill.
Meanwhile an unwanted player, Dirty Porthole resumes training, I'll try to get him to agree to leave on mutual terms, but he wasn't having any of it last time i tried. As the month ends, the board indicate that they continue to be delighted with my performance and they also believe that winning the Icelandic Cup will be of great significance to the club. No mention of the significance of winning the league then? In the meantime we lose £30.1k over the last month nearly half of which is paying off wasters.
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Post by coffers on Feb 8, 2006 14:21:59 GMT
October 2006: The Close Season:
BMX Flyer and Charmed Existence report that they are able to resume training again once the holiday period is over. Used Crash Dummy played for the Swedish U19's against Cyprus and created one of the goals in Sweden's 3-0 win, he played well enough to receive a rating of 8. An out of contract 23yo Icelandic MLC, Squiffy Skull Cap is signed up for the next couple of seasons. 15yo Free Loafer played well enough for the Iceland U19's in their 0-0 draw with Romania to warrant a rating of 8.
Charmed Existence made a comeback after injury in the Swedish U19's 2-0 victory over Slovakia, he rated a 7. Free Loafer played a poor game in Iceland U19's 3-0 defeat by Turkey, he rated a 5. Used Crash Dummy rated a 7 in Sweden's U19's 1-1 draw at Georgia. With the players coming back from there off-season break at the end of the month, a couple of friendlies are scheduled for 8th & 15th of November, obviously they will be against a couple of well known favourites Aab and Toulouse.
As the players report back for training Magnified Eye is injured and Framed For Posterity is late so is disciplined for unprofessional behaviour and has a weeks wages deducted from his salary. He's also offered around to other clubs for around £4k. That doesn't work so we try again with £2k. Reinforcements are on the way in the shape of 21 year old Belgium D/DMC Notional Anthem, who joins on a free from Kemzeke.
Exhausted Pipe is out for a month with back strain. I decided that with the amount of injuries we had last season that now was maybe the time to tweak our training schedules, with that in mind the workloads were tweaked in such a way that they were all downgraded from Very Heavy to merely Heavy. It will be interesting to see if it makes any difference to the physios workload.
So the next day Shouting At Wolves reports a sprained wrist that will keep him on the sidelines for a couple of weeks. There are 2 clubs interested in Framed For Posterity but neither want to commit for £2k, so I try £1k, maybe third time lucky. Severe Singlet is then sidelined for 4 weeks with a twisted knee.
At the end of the month we have made a £28.05k loss but the board are still delighted and are still milking the Icelandic Cup win for all it's worth.
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Post by Moo on Feb 8, 2006 14:28:43 GMT
So you dumbed down the training in order to stop the injuries and got more? KUTGW!
:thumb:
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Post by coffers on Feb 8, 2006 14:32:54 GMT
Recent signings Notional Anthem and Squiffy Skull Cap are paraded before the Fjolnir fans on the opening day of training:
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Post by coffers on Feb 8, 2006 14:33:24 GMT
So you dumbed down the training in order to stop the injuries and got more? KUTGW! Good move that. :humb:
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Post by Sonic on Feb 8, 2006 23:27:35 GMT
So you dumbed down the training in order to stop the injuries and got more? KUTGW! I was thinking the same thing :checkit:
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Post by Sonic on Feb 8, 2006 23:29:29 GMT
I was wondering why for a minute you could sign a Belgium player and I couldn't. Then I saw him. Cover was the right word for him.
WHat I hate about trying to sign players is when they reject you because they want to play in Europe. So they sign with the other team who's in teh WAFA Cup when they could be playing in the LAC!
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Post by coffers on Feb 8, 2006 23:34:59 GMT
WHat I hate about trying to sign players is when they reject you because they want to play in Europe. So they sign with the other team who's in teh WAFA Cup when they could be playing in the LAC! No danger of that Sonic, they reject us because they think we are shit.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 9, 2006 2:04:47 GMT
:checkit:
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Post by coffers on Feb 9, 2006 13:39:38 GMT
November 2006: The Endless rounds of Close Season Friendlies Starts:
Really Dim and Scratched Bit both join the injury list for 2 weeks with a sprained wrists, more like wankers cramp. 62yo coach Boney EM decides to retire at the end of the season, Bridge hag signs a new contract and the Aab friendly is canceled due to other commitments on their part s a game against Banik Ostrava is hastily arranged for the end of the month along with a game against Antwerp on 8th November which replaces the original fixture. Shouting At Wolves resumes training and Framed For Posterity finally leaves the club to join first division KA for the huge sum of £1,000 with no conditions attached.
The game against Antwerp was a disappointing drab affair settled in Antwerp's favour by a 70th minute 30 yard strike. A 0-0 draw would have been a fair result, but a crowd of 3036 on a cool dry night made up for it in takings alone. After just exceeding the Salary budget due to recent dealings, the salary level goes up to $20,5k per month which means I'm back in budget.
Scratched Bit, Really Dim and Magnified Eye resumed full training.
A 3-2 home defeat by Toulouse left me in a foul mood and the team were left in no doubt about how I felt about the performance. OK, Toulouse were playing regularly and we were just back from training, but that was no excuse for not trying. BMX Flyer opened the scoring and Storm In A Teacup completed the scoring, what went on in between was atrocious. With the same weather as the last match a game 3046 fans turned up to see us get chewed up.
Entebbe Raider suffers a smack in the face and subsequently goes on the sick for a couple of weeks. In a bid to boost morale we ask 1st Division KA if they would like to take us on, on their patch. Too bloody right is their reply. In the meantime Severe Singlet resumes training. Dirty Porthole is released on a free, it costs us £3k, but it's £600 cheaper than keeping a player no one wants on the books and he;s crap anyway.
In a bid to improve morale a friendly against poorer opposition, namely at first division KA, was hastily arranged, it was so hasty only 68 people bothered to turn up and watch us destroy a, battling but poor, KA outfit. Two goals in each half gave us a morale boosting 4-0 win. The goals came from Boris (12min), Darned Critter (36), Storm In A Teacup (48) and Raffia Pudding (78).
Exhausted Pipe resumes training but Charmed Existence joins the legion of injured four 4 weeks with a groin strain.
The next money spinner was a disappointing affair, with Banik Ostrava taking the lead late in a dreadful first half. We improved in the second period and Storm In A Teacup equalised after 52 minutes, but all the good work was undone in injury time when we let in a 25 yard free kick to lose the game 2-1. The spark seems to have gone out of our game, but the fans turned up in their droves, 3086 did anyway. I did notice last season that we didn't play particularly well in the November & December friendlies, I hope this is just because the players can't be bothered putting a lot of effort in, so far away from the start of the season. I'll live with it for now but if it continues into January then I might have to look to do something about it.
Entebbe Raider resumed training. A nice £42.5k profit was posted for the month of November, and the directors are of the same mind as they were last month.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 9, 2006 22:43:00 GMT
Until about a month ago, Coffs, you had a bigger stadium than I did. I now have about 4500 capacity instead of only 3000.
In other news, the Brasilian I bought had an expectation monitor, could be the next ROnaldo. I bought him for 250K pounds. Bargain. The other news is that the chairman expects a player with reputation to join the club. It's going to be a struggle. Oh, and I'm being linked to all and sundry who need a manager.
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Post by coffers on Feb 9, 2006 23:17:30 GMT
December 2006: The Endless Rounds Of Close Season Friendlies Continues:
Shouting At Wolves jumps on the injury list bandwagon and goes away for a month. Friendlies are arranged against minnows Selfoss away and a couple of money spinners, Bastia and AEK Athens at home. Meanwhile Ass-man Mock tennis gets in on the act and arranges a load of friendlies against Icelandic opposition at the end of the month and in January.
In the first of the December friendlies 67 people turned up to watch us stroll to a 3-0 victory at Selfoss. Goals from BMX Flyer (39secs), Boris (41) and a 49th minute penalty from Ingenious Variable ensured that we came away with a boosted morale.
Sky Train goes on the injured list for 2 weeks with a bruised head.
The home friendly against Bastia ended in what can only be described as a humping. Three first pathetic half goals left us with a lot to do in the second period and me with a very sore throat at half time. At least we drew the second half to end up losing the match 3-0. The attendance of 3054 at least means the money keeps on coming in. But I'm baffled at how we have suddenly become whipping boys for whoever accepts their 40 pieces of silver. Perhaps our opponents have cottoned on to the tactics and we need a switch.
Charmed Existence resumes training but Bridge Hag is sent home with a cold for a few days.
As the home game against AEK approaches I decide to start with my best available side and see what happens, in previous games we've mixed experience with inexperience mainly for fitness boosting. The first half performance is much better, but we still go in 1-0 down, AEK scored on a breakaway at the half hour mark. It has to be said that we were unlucky, so words of encouragement were offered and they worked a treat. As the second half unfolded, BMX Flyer struck twice in the first 17 minutes and Ingenious Variable added a third on 77, to give us a comfortable 3-1 win. This was more like it. On shots alone AEK probably deserved better but on effort and drive we got what we deserved, plus we got a good payday as a result of the 3086 paying customers.
Cyborg who played most of the last game carrying an injury is diagnosed with a bruised thigh, he'll be out for up to 2 weeks. Following the sacking of Brian Talbot it seems that my name is in the frame for the vacant managers post at Oxford. When asked if I'd be interested, I decline to comment to the press for once. Bragging With Whores retires from playing and Shouting At Wolves resumes training. The profit for the month is £18.26K and the boards opinions are unchanged.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 10, 2006 4:04:54 GMT
What physcological power you must have over the other teams in your division with wins regularly like this. Nice crowd to a friendly.
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Post by coffers on Feb 11, 2006 18:46:27 GMT
January 2007: The Endless Rounds Of Close Season Friendlies Continue To The End Of The 2006 Season:
Boris, who is valued at £375,000 is being tracked by Molde. Cyborg gets back into the swing of training. A 24yo Portuguese striker, Burnt Vegetarian agrees to join us on a Bosman in July. His current club Portosantense will get nothing out of the deal, in another Bosman 22yo French AM/LC, Carrot Strips agrees terms and will join us in July.
The first friendly of the new year starts badly as we drop a goal after only 30 seconds to against non-league KS, Scratched Bit was at fault giving the ball away just outside the area. After that KS never got a looking. We got the equaliser on 13, when Foghorn stole in at the back post to tap in a Charmed Existence cross. Storm In A Teacup got our second seconds before the break. We got better as the game progressed and Charmed Existence (58), Roasted Rasta (70) and Raffia Pudding (78) added to the tally to give us a very easy 5-1 win in front of 110 KS fans.
It's Ingenious Variable's turn to join the injuries queue, he's got a sprained wrist and will be out for 2 weeks, the poof. Ray Graydon quits the Bristol Rovers managerial post and I'm once again linked with a return to England, but Division 2 is a bit of a step down from appearing in a European competition, though probably not in the long run. I have to turn down there offer which eventually comes my way, it's another poisoned chalice, ie. no transfer funds, and a demand that the wage bill be reduced, all for the princely sum of an extra £600 per month, no thank you. Boris has a dead leg and will be out for a week or so.
The second friendly of 2007, an away game at non-league Tindastoll, saw us meet up with a former coach Open Book and give his underlings a good tonking. Two goals in each half underlined our superiority and but fr some profligate finishing we should have won by a lot more. Goals from: Sky Train (2), Storm In A Teacup (32), Jammy Forefinger (58) and Magnified Eye (86) sealed the easy 4-0 win. 95 die-hards turned up to watch.
Next up was a game away to HK, in which we dominated the entire game. The first half was relatively laboured compared to the second, but we were in no danger of conceding. Two goals by Storm In A Teacup on 22 and 38 gave us a 2-0 lead at the break, he completed his hat-trick on 52. Jammy Forefinger added a fourth on 69 with a 25 yard banana shot and Sky Train headed a late fifth with a minute to spare. A nice 5-0 win in front of 63 HK spectators seems somewhat wasted.
Ingenious Variable resumes training.
before we know it the final game of the 2006 season is upon us, a home friendly against Volsungur and it starts badly we press hard for the first 12 minutes then they break on 13 and score with their first and only shot of the game. It was unbelievable, the 115 spectators were stunned. We came back at them and laboured badly against a massed defence for the rest of the half. Thankfully Charmed Existence equalised on 20 and Foghorn grabbed a second on 35 to give us a lead at the break. We deserved it but the game was painful to watch. Rather than blast the team they are encouraged to do better and it works. BMX Flyer popped up to knock on a great ball from Sky Train in on 54, then Sky Train hit a fourth a minute later. BMX Flyer wrapped up the scoring with his second on 71 to leave us with a 5-1 win. A nice way to end a season.
The 2006 officially ends with a party for BMX Flyer to pick up his well deserved Fans Player Of The Year Award. Two 15 year olds are promoted from the academy for me to peruse, they are both Finns and look dreadful, but I'll give them a chance, thousands wouldn't. Furry Bacteria is an MC and Gargle Or Bust is a striker.
So ends the 2006 Season.
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Post by coffers on Feb 12, 2006 19:26:34 GMT
January 2007 Part 2: The 2007 Season starts with more friendlies:
The fixture list for 2007 is released and we start the league season with an away games at FH and Valur and they are followed by a home game against IA. TV rights for the season are a massive £50,000. In the Icelandic Upper League Cup we are drawn in Group B along with Fylkir, HK, FH, KR, Breioablik, KA and Þór. The transfer budget was set at £35.5k that allows me a salary ceiling of £19.75k, I could have juggled with that but the middle ground easily fits into my plans anyway.
The board are pleased with our standing at the moment and merely expect to steer clear of relegation this season.
The first friendly of the season was away to non-league Selfoss and we produced our worst performance for over a month. Although we won the game 3-1 hardly anyone covered themselves in glory, the passing reminded me of Middlesbrough on a bad day, all I can say is thank goodness Selfoss were poor. Grommit opened for us on 14. Darned Critter hit the second on 48, then gave the ball away on the hour to allow Selfoss a clear run to goal to pull one back. BMX Flyer who was one of only two trying to entertain the crows got our third four minutes from time. 85 people watched this sorry excuse for a football match, the stay at homes were the lucky ones. Roasted Rasta joined the injury list after the game, he'll be out for up to 3 weeks with a gashed leg.
The bookies odds are released for the coming season, FH are clear favourites to win the league with odds of 4-5, IA are 5-4 and KR are 6-4. We are a generous 12-1 as the bookies think we will be lucky to avoid relegation. I think that a big bet is in order, I won't go totally mad in case a decent side come in for me, but I reckon a four grand punt is in order. In fact I go as far as to say that my current squad shouldn't even be thinking of relegation to journalists enquiring about our chances of avoiding the drop.
Following my comments, Shouting At Wolves and Foghorn get it into their heads that they won't have to compete too hard to get into the first team squad, that's something that will have to be watched, I won't have lazy bostords who just turn up for the money in my team.
Our next game gave us a chance to get revenge on Toulouse for our defeat against them in December. I picked a strong team to start with and they repaid me well. Sky Train Opened the scoring on 11 and BMX Flyer doubled it on 26 to give us a 2-0 half time lead. BMX Flyer hit a stunner of a goal on 60 and then I made the changes. Toulouse started motoring at that point but had a man sent off on 71. It made little difference as they stepped up the pressure, our lesser players weren't coping very well. The on 83 Scratched Bit gave the ball away in the penalty area and Toulouse pulled one back as a direct result. We then weathered a heavy storm for the remainder of the game. In injury time Really Dim was sent off for bringing a man down who had a clear run to goal, but Toulouse failed to capitalise any more. At the end of the game Scratched Bit got a tongue lashing for his pitiful performance, he's always moaning he should be an automatic choice but his performances say otherwise. It might be time to part company with this whinging git, he's good but we have more than enough cover for his positions anyway. A bumper crowd of 3087 turned up to watch the game.
Really Dim is given an official warning for is sending off and accepts that he will try his hardest to clean up his act in future matches.
On the final day of the month we entertained FC Kopenhagen and how we got out of this one with a draw I'll never know, but at least the lads worked hard for this one. Both teams went out with the same formation and though Kopenhagen had plenty of possession we worked to keep them out. The first half ended goalless, so encouragement was offered at the break and we started the send much better. But the game remained even, until Squiffy Skull Cap smashed an unstoppable shot into the corner of the net. Kopenhagen redoubled their efforts to score and bombarded our goal. Snooker Loopy pulled off some outstanding saves but with six minutes left the equaliser came. There was only so much pressure a team can take. Even after the equaliser we were pummeled but we held out to the end, the crowd of 3084 witnessed a great rearguard action and I saw what some of the players were really made of in earning that 1-1 draw.
The profit for the month was £86.48k, the board are very pleased and Notional Anthem bruises his head and will miss up to 2 weeks training.
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