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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 23, 2008 12:14:06 GMT
Aye. I limped past Konyaspor on goal difference out of the bottom two, but the key part will be staying there.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 23, 2008 14:03:50 GMT
March 2001 The start of spring is a mixed month as I try to seem confident standing in front of a board of directors who are all carrying axes, while my team loiters around the bottom of a relegation group. I get asked if I'm confident that my team will escape relegation and say "yes" and try my best to look like I mean it. Meanwhile, on the sly I tell Oksana to have my bags packed and to keep an eye on the job market. This place is doing my nut. We only lose one of the four games in March, but we only win one too, taking five points from a possible twelve for the month. The win comes against bottom side Sariyer and we have to work disturbingly hard for that, coming from behind in the second half thanks to a brace from Toraman Ibrahim. Ibrahim also scores one in our 2-2 draw to open the month against Kartalspor, with the other goal coming from new AMC Osanmaz Mehmet. The other draw is a 0-0 that's actually fairly impressive, coming as it does against the top side; Sakaryaspor. We outshoot the top side 12/7 to 3/1, but can't beat super goalie. Then comes real disappointment, as we play the sixth placed side Konyaspor and throw away a 1-0 lead, courtesy of Ufuk by allowing two second half goals, gifting the team below us three points and falling back into seventh, three points off of safety after Konyaspor put together an undefeated month. ----------------------------------------------------- Kartalspor 2-2 I'm a Divot, get me out of here I'm a Divot, get me out of here 0-0 Sakaryaspor Sariyer 1-2 I'm a Divot, get me out of here Konyaspor 2-1 I'm a Divot, get me out of here ----------------------------------------------------- Classification Group 1 Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Sakaryaspor 7 8 2 2 20 17 5 4 4 24 27 45 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Bakirköyspor 7 5 6 2 21 16 5 1 6 20 19 37 3rd M. Idman Yurdu 7 6 1 5 17 16 5 3 5 19 15 37 4th Kartalspor 7 7 2 4 25 19 2 3 7 15 23 32 5th Karabükspor 7 4 1 7 16 23 5 3 5 15 21 31 6th Konyaspor 7 4 3 6 19 22 4 2 6 14 21 29 7th G.Antep B.Sehir Bld. Spor 7 4 2 6 17 17 3 3 7 15 25 26 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8th Sariyer 7 0 5 8 11 22 4 1 7 11 13 18 I'm gratified that there is a line and I'm not below it. Maybe it's only the bottom side that goes down after all.
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Post by Moo on Sept 23, 2008 14:29:48 GMT
Considering how many points you've attained since you took over, I'd be suprised if you didn't climb at least one more place with seven games to go. If the line says one team in this version, then you have to assume it means one team. But I seem to recall a game where I played (was it Serbia?) where the lines didn't appear until midway through the season and took me a little by surprise, let's say. Not that it'll happen here, offcourse, but I would recommend trying to nab 6th anyway. KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 2:11:48 GMT
Surprise lines is the only thing missing from Brazil.
They should have a big wheel of fortune with the places at the bottom having more of the wheel than those at the top and then spin it.
"This year, we're relegating the teams who finished seventh and... third!"
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 2:50:56 GMT
April 2001 Stumbling into April in seventh place on the back of a defeat against Konyaspor I have Oksana keep our bags packed and the engine running on the car during every game, in case the axe falls as rumour has it my position is back on the "insecure" list. After we secure our second 2-1 defeat this season at the hands of Mersin Idman Yurdu, I start working from home and screening my calls but the phone doesn't ring, so I'll get at least one more chance to redeem myself. Against Kartalspor I drop to a more defensive formation with a flat back four and bring in AMC Karael Ali, giving us four Alis across the middle again. Karael isn't very good, but he has the best combination of skills for dead ball situations and our free kicks and corners so far have been woeful. Proof of my genius as a manager comes on just six minutes as Toraman Ibrahim crosses to Ufuk who heads against the crossbar and Karael Ali appears, right on cue, to tap home the rebound. Proof that Ali isn't very good comes as he rates a 6/10, despite scoring a goal. Amazingly, we hold a lead and that completes the scoring to give us another three points, closing the gap to 6th back to two points, as Konyaspor draw. The remaining two games of the month also bring excellent clean sheets for us as we grab a scoreless draw away to the leaders, Sakaryaspor and then conjure a fantastic home win over third placed Bakirköyspor. Toraman Ibrahim is on target again, scoring his 16th of the season in his 23(2) appearance - all of those goals have come in the 19 games since I took over. Taking seven points from a possible nine over the past three games pushes us up to the heady reaches of 5th place and brings something approaching a smile from the board who say they're "pleased" with my general performance, though I suspect they're just trying to lure me out from behind the couch. Classification Group 1 Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Sakaryaspor 11 10 3 2 26 19 6 4 4 27 29 55 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd M. Idman Yurdu 11 8 1 5 21 18 6 4 5 23 18 47 3rd Bakirköyspor 11 5 6 3 23 19 7 1 7 25 22 43 4th Konyaspor 11 4 4 7 20 24 6 2 6 22 22 36 5th G.Antep B.Sehir Bld. Spor 11 6 2 6 19 17 3 4 8 16 27 33 6th Kartalspor 11 7 2 6 25 24 2 3 9 16 26 32 7th Karabükspor 11 4 1 9 19 30 5 3 7 16 27 31 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8th Sariyer 11 1 5 9 15 26 5 1 8 13 15 24 Amusingly, the press report that Classification team Antalyaspor are flying and look very likely to avoid relegatin on their current form in the morning of 21st of April and then in the afternoon the board fire the manager. :thumb:
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Post by Sonic on Sept 24, 2008 4:33:58 GMT
That last month was much better. At this rate, you might even avoid relegation.
KUTGW :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 4:53:26 GMT
May 2001 May 2001 was an odd month. The beginning was routine enough as we traveled away to Kardemir Demir-Çelik Karabükspor and took the lead courtesy of a thirty yard free kick from Karael Ali. I did mention I'd put him back into the team because of his dead ball skills, right? However, despite dominating the game we still only come away with a point as in the last minute Gürbürz Ramazan skips past our defence and crosses for Shahin "Catnip" Canip to volley in the equaliser. I slump into my chair, question the parentage of my players and loudly bemoan the loss of another two points on the want for another 45 seconds or so of defence. Back in my office later than night my aversion to answering the phone after my team piss away another game is compounded when the press announce that Karabükspor's manager had been given the heave-ho. So when my mobile started buzzing on the desk I almost ignored it. It was only when I went to mute it that I saw the call was coming from a strange number, outside of Gaziantep. Even so, I answered with the due sense of trepidation. "Hello?" "Mr Bandersley?" "Possibly..." There was a deep laugh from the other end. "This is Serdar Bilgili. You know who I am?" My mouth went dry leading my voice to jump from a high pitched squeak to a sudden low in an odd combination of timbre that left me sounding like a pubescent whose voice is beaking. "Yes I do." I picked a plastic pen off my desk and hurled it at my office door. It clattered noisily off the cheap plywood to the floor. With impressive speed the door then opened and the runner up of Miss Brest 1997 stuck her pretty head through the gap. I held the phone away from mouth for a second and in a loud stage whisper rasped, " Start the car! " To her credit Oksana neither questioned, paused or even blinked, she simply disappeared back into her room. I went back to the phone and caught Mr Bilgili mid-sentence; "...the fans of Besiktas are some of the most committed and loyal in the world and they deserve European football. Of course, we would be prepared to make a large financial sum available to support you and the direction in which you wish to take the club." "How large?" "About 21.4 Trillion Lira." "21.4 Trillion Li... wait. What? How much is that?" "About thirty-five million Euros." I may have squealed. With the phonecall concluded and Oksana outside, revving the Audi impatiently I had no time to write an official letter of resignation to the moody fuckers who'd been looking for a way to get rid of me since Christmas, so they'd have to guess at my reasons, (although it doesn't take Columbo to spot roughly 35 million clues). I did, however, have time to draw the customary picture of a mermaid, giving them the finger and nail it to my old desk. See you in Istanbul!
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Post by Moo on Sept 24, 2008 7:31:30 GMT
That reminds me, I must phone my sister. Quality update, s1ut. Besiktas, eh? Home of the Besiktasians or something. I guess that you were so bored with my explanation of how things work in the lower leagues that you decided to cheat and go to the top. Shocking effort. All this means is that you're unlikely to return to to cack teams from now on. Unless the Toon need someone, obv. KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Boony on Sept 24, 2008 7:44:37 GMT
Nice one, s1ut. Good leapfrogging. This is good fun to follow, very entertaining.
Moo - it's tough to move into a big job in a different country, so it's always possible we'll see Jez back in some lower reaches at some point. :thumb:
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Post by Moo on Sept 24, 2008 8:05:03 GMT
I foresee the miraculous corrupted save game feature very soon. When it goes pear-shaped.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 12:42:36 GMT
I have a feeling that I'll be back in the lower leagues at some point, probably in another country. I was stunned when they offered me the position, considering the person they fired was Nevio Scala - my record of 20 games played doesn't really stack up to his experience, although 8 wins, 7 draws and 5 defeats with the sack of cack at GBBS is not exactly shabby. Despite the hate-hate relationship I was developing with the board there, I'm still glad I "saved" them. They had 3 points in 10 games when I went in and I left them in fifth in the Classification group, safe against all but the most bizarre combination of results. Still, €35,000,000.
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Post by Moo on Sept 24, 2008 13:28:34 GMT
Well, you'd be silly to turn it down, considering this is a career game and not a club game, if you see what I mean.
Still, you've not updated for ages, so hurry up and nickname those players and tell us what's going on.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 14:31:24 GMT
More May Minus Mermaids Besiktas have two games left when I show up, both away from home, so I just stick out a routine pair of selections based on who has been doing well so far this year. In the first we struggle, which is disappointing as oponents Denizlispor have a man sent off on five minutes and we get two penalties. Üzülmez Ibrahim scores both spot kicks, but we allow ten men to get a goal and limp to a 2-1 victory. The second game also has a bit of disappointment about it, as we take the lead twice through Ayhan and Ahmet Dursun, but end up drawing 2-2. Luckily, that first win means we can't be caught by fifth and we didn't have a chance to catch third, so we stand pat in fourth and should be in the WAFER next year. Amusingly, Gaziantap lose both games after I go, 0-1 against relegated side Sariyer and 0-3 to 4th placed Konyaspor. Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st C Galatasaray 34 16 1 0 41 4 8 6 3 32 22 79 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Fenerbahçe 34 17 0 0 50 7 8 3 6 32 29 78 3rd Samsunspor 34 12 4 1 37 17 8 4 5 27 19 68 4th Besiktas 34 14 1 2 38 8 5 4 8 24 24 62 5th Trabzonspor 34 12 5 0 32 9 5 3 9 22 26 59 6th Siirt JETPA 34 8 4 5 28 24 8 4 5 19 14 56 7th G. Antepspor 34 9 4 4 34 22 7 2 8 22 30 54 8th Denizlispor 34 9 5 3 30 18 4 6 7 17 22 50 9th Kocaelispor 34 10 3 4 28 19 4 4 9 20 24 49 10th Adanaspor 34 10 6 1 39 19 3 2 12 25 38 47 11th Ankaragücü 34 9 2 6 31 22 4 5 8 29 38 46 12th Ç. Rizespor 34 6 6 5 23 22 4 4 9 14 27 40 13th Istanbulspor 34 5 6 6 22 27 5 3 9 22 27 39 14th Yozgatspor 34 7 1 9 23 26 2 3 12 7 41 31 15th G. Birligi 34 5 4 8 26 34 3 2 12 12 41 30 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16th R Bursaspor 34 6 4 7 29 33 1 0 16 17 49 25 17th R Antalyaspor 34 4 5 8 15 27 0 4 13 8 30 21 18th R Erzurumspor 34 4 2 11 16 34 1 4 12 23 41 21 There's no doubt our good position is built on the home form of the team, as 5-4-8 away from home isn't exciting anyone. German fullback Markus Münch makes the team of the season and has the team's top rating for the season with 7.68 on 38 appearances. Ahmet Dursun's last-game goal sends him into a tie with Frenchman Pascal Nouma for the team lead with nine goals.
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Post by Moo on Sept 24, 2008 14:46:05 GMT
You missed an opportunity with a nickname for Markus, Shirley?
Stabilise the team for the end of season, disenbowel it in the summer. I like your style.
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Sonic on Sept 24, 2008 14:46:57 GMT
That's quite a leap. What season are we in again? Oh, and I loved your the update before last too :cab:
Next season should be fun for you :thumb:
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Post by Boony on Sept 24, 2008 15:03:57 GMT
You deleted the mermaid post!
Moo - he's not doing nicknames.
Sonic - that was the end of the first season.
Doesn't anyone around here read anything? Where's that bang-head-against-wall smilie? I think we're all getting more senile the older we get.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 15:08:47 GMT
We have to fill in the senility gap while coffers is away.
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Post by Boony on Sept 24, 2008 15:13:14 GMT
It's a big gap, to be fair. Part of me is pleased you're all older than me, because I'm not that senile yet. The rest of me is worried for my future...
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 15:21:35 GMT
I suspect that going senile is a lot like drowning, or asphyxiation. You're worried about it, but the more it comes on the less inclined you are to fight it and it can probably feel quite pleasant in the end.
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Post by Sonic on Sept 24, 2008 15:26:25 GMT
I bet the facial expressions are hysterical too.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Sept 24, 2008 15:39:12 GMT
You deleted the mermaid post! Further proof of senility. I thought I'd hit "Quote" but apparently hit "Modify" and so put the Minus Mermaids update right over the top of the original mermaid post. :thumb: I went back through my browser history, but because these boards are databas driven, even if you look at an old version of the page you still look at the most recent posts, because they're then loaded in, so I always see the gap where the post used to be. I tried working offline, but none of the cached pages I have are the right ones either. I hope Coffers comes back soon.
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Post by Boony on Sept 24, 2008 15:59:47 GMT
Me neither. Sorry man. I'm assuming you haven't kept it in a word file, like any sensible person would.
I can't reverse it on the admin panel, either.
Fucking idiot.
:thumb:
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Post by hornet on Sept 24, 2008 16:03:06 GMT
Mehmet will go into the eleven, with Ufuk on the bench. Sadly, Mehmet's start means a sub's role for Çil Ali, breaking up our midfield that previously looked like this : Ali, Ali, Salih, Ali, Ali, Ali. Oi! Oi! Oi! Nice board-dodging work, Mr. McC. Although given this new mob fired someone for finishing 4th, it may be a frying-pan / fire situation. KUTTTBW! :thumb:
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Post by DC on Sept 24, 2008 16:04:01 GMT
Seconded. I was enjoying catching up on the story until the rip in the space time continuum sent me forwards in time.
You should change your sig to "Where in time is Jez Bandersley?" and then you can ask obscure historical questions just like Carmen Sandiego.
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Post by Sonic on Sept 24, 2008 16:08:46 GMT
You know it's almost worth not knowing what it was I missed for all the post afterwards :cab:
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