ronmanager
Meej's Sister's Turtle
ceci n'est pas une belgian
Jumpers for goalposts
Posts: 121
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Post by ronmanager on Jul 5, 2006 14:18:01 GMT
Selected leagues: none yet, haven't started the game. But I'm guessing Serbia & Montenegro. And that's it. Database: Large Rules: Everything is allowed except eating in front of my computer and using that function where you have to type in the name of the player and he appears on the screen. And using short formulations, natch. Tactics: Will involve a lot of motivational stuff, like taking them to a faith healer and afterwards laughing at them for being gullible fools. After all: football is just running and kicking. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTRODUCTION Haven't started the game yet.
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Post by Boony on Jul 5, 2006 14:25:41 GMT
A non-existant game?
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Post by Moo on Jul 5, 2006 14:27:48 GMT
Love it!
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jul 5, 2006 17:06:11 GMT
It'll never catch on.
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ronmanager
Meej's Sister's Turtle
ceci n'est pas une belgian
Jumpers for goalposts
Posts: 121
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Post by ronmanager on Jul 5, 2006 18:18:17 GMT
CHAPTER I : A LA RECHERCHE DU TEMPS PERDU It were the best of times, it were the worst of times. And sometimes it were the mediocrest of times, but only at tea time, when the nobility would go to Thés Dansants and go funky on the Boston. The poor would then come out of their wooden cabins and piss in the tea, as the Serbian tradition goes. It was the Victorian Serbia & Montenegro, in the between early and late 2005's, back then referred to as August, and Count De Parmézan, travelling from France, was hunting for ladycunt, as was called a woman's prume back in the days - Barbarians, they were, I tell you. Incited by the vagabond's urinal secretions, which contained more alcohol than other substances and were also sold in the more civilised regions under the name Budweiser, the Count stepped over to Lady Svetlana Cellulitic. It wasn't long until the Count was found under Lady Cellulitic's wide skirt, like they would wear in the Victorian ages, for licking purposes obviously, because morality was non-existant at the time. The Lady then proceeded to kick the Count in the nuts, and thus titillating him. The process was reaching a high point when the Lady kicked the Count in the nutters so hard, that historians who found photographs of the Count centuries later, thought Victorian Serbs' testicles were to be found somewhere in the lower back.So the Count had to turn around in order to let the dominating pain proceed to incite his lust. That was the beginning of it all: the Count accidently got his head between Lady Cellulitic's legs and suddenly found himself on the moon. He did not only see a black hole, but also numerous craters on the Lady's bums. Nationalistic as the Count was, he took the pin in the colours of the French flag of his costume and shoved the symbol of his defiance up the Lady's arse, hereby repeating the words of famous astronaut Louis Armstrong: "What a wonderfull world!" After that phrase, events took a distressing turn. At least that's what I think: I haven't started the game yet.
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Post by coffers on Jul 5, 2006 18:40:27 GMT
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 5, 2006 19:55:41 GMT
Suitably Belgian, this thread. KUTNDAW :thumb:
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Post by floplexter on Jul 5, 2006 22:47:40 GMT
WTF? :humb:
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Post by Sonic on Jul 6, 2006 1:55:39 GMT
And not a game in site. What was in sight now? I'll refer the honourable gentleman to the previous posts before :humb:
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Post by Moo on Jul 6, 2006 8:55:28 GMT
There's too much nut-kicking for my liking here. KUTGW!
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ronmanager
Meej's Sister's Turtle
ceci n'est pas une belgian
Jumpers for goalposts
Posts: 121
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Post by ronmanager on Jul 7, 2006 8:25:19 GMT
CHAPTER II : HOMBRE AL BORDE DE UN ATAQUE DE NERVIOS Having just claimed the lady's arse as French territory, the Count would soon regret his patriotic deed - albeit this new conquered landscape smelled better than the rest of France. Lady Cellulitic wasn't that pleased at the prospect of having grapes raised on her bums. After all: at the age of 26 she was a bit too young to cultivate a Côte du Haemorhoide. So the lady started to scream and the count was soon arrested by the Serbian police force, consisting of moustached men with whips, wearing leather masks and having chains attached to their nipples. They stormed in, whipping him on his pantfish and putting handcuffs on and reading him his rights: "You have the right to scream of pleasure." The count was then locked into a dark cellar and was fed pins, awaiting his trail a few days later. Normally, an accused on would remain in prison for some years before getting his trial. But this was a case of national interest: the Count had barked on the wrong arse. Lady Cellulitic was the daughter of an eminent member of the Serbian Government, the Whip of the Serbian Gardeners' Party. The SGP was the only political party allowed in Serbia, which was ruled by an evil dictator, by the name of Tito. President Tito took over power from former president Astairovic . The latter was deterred by the special powers of Tito, who used his cunning conga techniques to make Astairovic conga his way out of Serbia. Dictator Tito, 2000 years ago Anyway, a few days later the Count found himself in front of a judge. The charges were Unlawful claim of national territory (National Act, § 2.85/2.90) and Shoving a French flag-shaped pin with a sharp needle up a Lady's arse (Agricultural Act, § 3.1/3.6), the first with a punishment of between an hour and three hours imprisonment, the second with a punishment varying from 60 years imprisonment and the death penalty. The evidence was clear: the lady showed her bum, much to the horror of the audience. And then they noticed the slip in her arse too. All the Count could do was wait for his sentence... Which was intolerably cruel: the Count was punished to the management of a Serbian football club. The judge had learned that the Count used to be a succesful manager, leading the Garlic-Odeured Frogs to the title in the French Stereotypes League and then proceeding to win the European Stereotypes Cup. Granted: he had some luck: in the first round the Cheap Scottish Skirts refused to pay for the boat trip for the return leg and in the quarter finals the Self-Centred English Lads didn't turn up for both games at all, refusing to believe they played football accross the Canal. But the Count also proved to be a tactical genius, riding with a bus to the Belarussian Carrippers and thus distracting them from playing football. They managed to score 547 goals while the Belarussians were busy ripping the bus to pieces and selling them on the black market. And in the final against the Sleepy Spaiards, he cunningly managed to lure them into believing it was Siesta time, when it was actually 8 o'clock in the evening, by putting the stadium lights on. The Spaiards immediately fell asleep when the lights were on, but all eleven did so in the goal. It took until the 89st minute before Louis Herve managed to find a hole in the hairy goal. Would the Count manage to reach the same level as manager of a Serbian football club? And would he survive the pain and the horror of it all? I haven't got a clue, haven't loaded FM up yet...
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Post by Moo on Jul 7, 2006 8:39:03 GMT
Lunatic.
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Post by floplexter on Jul 7, 2006 9:37:33 GMT
Belgilicious
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Post by coffers on Jul 7, 2006 22:42:08 GMT
on both counts. apart from the nicking of pain and whips that is. Oh hang on, who gives a toss, not me. KUTGW!
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ronmanager
Meej's Sister's Turtle
ceci n'est pas une belgian
Jumpers for goalposts
Posts: 121
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Post by ronmanager on Jul 11, 2006 8:24:02 GMT
FM2006 remains untouched, but I've won the LAC: Using this tactic: Now all bow down to my superior management skills....
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Post by Moo on Jul 11, 2006 8:26:59 GMT
IGFLITO, ye bostord.
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Post by coffers on Jul 11, 2006 8:27:03 GMT
HA! Are you The Master in disguise, he's the only one who gets bowed to around here, and then it's in the shape of a Kow-tow. :humb:
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Post by Boony on Jul 11, 2006 15:06:43 GMT
I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
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Post by Moo on Jul 11, 2006 15:33:13 GMT
No, you're fat.
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Post by Sonic on Jul 12, 2006 3:07:15 GMT
I knew this was worth waiting to read when I had a bit more time than before. 2009? Looks like we've got much work to do to beat that. Moo especially, as he's another season in the same division.
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