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Post by Boony on Jan 27, 2006 10:52:36 GMT
unending and boring friendlies. Just think of the money..... Maybe you'll make enough to actually be able to afford non-free players.
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Post by coffers on Jan 27, 2006 15:20:12 GMT
2006 Begins With You've Guessed It; More Friendlies:
01/01/2006 A. Tindastoll - The Tindastoll penanly area is like a pinball game for the first 20 minutes, with their defence acting like overworked flippers. Just like overworked flippers they miss a couple of balls, these resulted in goals on 11 for Foghorn and 18 for Storm In a Teacup. For the next 15 minutes it was like watching a combination of Ping-pong and head tennis in the midfield zone. Then on 36, Sky Train got behind the defence and drove a low angled shot into the left corner of the net. The team seemed to ease up without letting Tindastoll get back into the game after that. Cyborg completed the scoring with a great volley on 63. All in all an easy 4-0 win. 130 people packe dthe Tindasoll terraces, they obviously think we're not a big enough team to bother getting out of bed to watch.
I find that transfer listed Centre Half, Painted Gun can be released on a free at no cost to the club, so he's gone. No one has shown any interest in him in all the months he's been available.
05/01/2006 H. Keflavik - Keflavik finished in 4th place in the Premier division in 2005 but we didn't give them a look-in today. Fjolnir controlled the game from start to finsh, only their keeper and poor finishing kept the score so low. Sky Train finished off a great team move on 15 to open the scoring. Storm In A Teacup completed the job on 17 minutes from time after latching onto a long clearance from Used Crash Dummy. Won 2-0 but only 87 fans turned up to see it.
10/01/2006 H. Fylkir - This was one game I wasn't expecting, Fylkir finished mid-table in the Premiership so expected a harder game than we got. Foghorn put us a goal up after only 3 minutes but Fylkir rallied and equalised on 5. From that moment on Fylkir just fell apart. Four goals from BMX Flyer added to a goal apiece from Charmed Existance and Darned Critter destroyed Fylkir and sent them in 7-1 down at the break. As so often happens in games like this the performance dropped a little in the second half, thought we controlled the game throughout, we struggled to score more goals. Darned Critter snaffled the 8th goal on 53 minutes with a 30 yard free kick and that was the end of the scoring. Won 8-1. An attendance of 91 witnessed the rout.
After the last 2 games, I think I need to re-assess our targets for the coming season, I'll be looking for achieve a European spot at the end of the day. The current crop of friendlies are doing nothing for our finances, so I step on Ass-mans toes and arrenge a couple more high profile ones, AEK AThens on 25th January and then Aab again on 1st February. The new season is due to start after 21st January, so I might have three fifths to spend by then. Coming up we have the last two games of the 2005 season, 1st an away trip to non-league Leiftur/Dalvik.
Breioablik come in with bids for Exhausted Pipe and Bragging With Whores, I say bods but they actually bid nothing at all. They're told where to get off and it isn't a station anywhere near Fjolnir.
16/01/2006 A. Leiftur/Dalvik - Although we dominated the game throughout, Dalvik made us work a lot harder that Premiership Fylkir had done in the previous game. Foghorn once again gave us the lead after only 8 minutes. Dalvik then went on to stiffle our game for the next hour or so. Only after Grommit grabbed a second after 72 minutes did we look as if we really had the game won as at that point Dalvik fell apart. Magnified Eye added a third goal on 75, we pressed on but there were no more goals to be had. Won 3-0. Attendance 78. Maybe it's just too cold on January nights for anyone to be bothered to watch football.
Two new coaches join the club to bolster our training schedules for the coming campaign; Italian Massive Periscope bolsters our fitness regime and moves Strength up to 4 stars, Irishman Higgledy-Piggledy joins the tactical team and moves the tactical training into the realms of 4 stars.
21/01/2006 H. Þróttur - Our opponents were appearing in their last match under the pretext of being a Premiership club, they will be officially relegated to the First division as the seasons change in the next few days, and boy after this gane you could see why. BMX Flyer opened the scoring on 15 minutes with a sensational individual effort. How we didn't score more until our second from an own goal on 39 I'll never know. Þróttur were awful. Sky train popped up on 43 to give us a 3-0 lead at the break. Two Minutes into the second period Charmed Existance gave us an easy fourth goal. The Þróttur decided to play a bit and won and scored a penalty courtesy of Hide Away on 65. Faces changed and Storm In A Teacup restored the four goal difference on 68, he then grabbed his second a minute into injury time. Almost A Muster rounded teh game off tapping the ball into an empty net with 3.5 minutes injury time played, after Entebbe Raider had blasted against the bar. Won 7-1. Attendance a disappointing 62.
Charmed Existance gets a call up into the Swedish U19's squad. BMX Flyer is voted the Fans player of the year and we are informed that we will start the 2006 league system with games against: Fylkir (Home), Valur (Away) and Grindavik (Home). We are give £45k for TV rights and are drawn against Fram, Valur, Keflavik, IA, Þor, Vikingur and FH in Group A of the Icelandic Upper League Cup.
The board are now very pleased with my performance and expect us to battle bravely against relegationm they offer me around £10k for transfers. A quick negotiation amends this to £14,250, as long as I stay under a £16.5k salary budget. I also take the chance to arrange another money-spinner against Toulouse for the 8th February.
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Post by Boony on Jan 27, 2006 15:33:59 GMT
Low attendances there for these friendlies. Must be a bit nippy for them, I guess. What tempereatures do you get in the forecasts?
My mum could draw attendances of more than 62...
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Post by coffers on Jan 27, 2006 15:36:11 GMT
Around 38f and generally wet.
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Post by Boony on Jan 27, 2006 15:42:42 GMT
Fahrenheit? Bloody old timers. That's about 3 degrees Centigrade, innit. Not too nippy, then. I'd assume Iceland in January would be about minus 20. In fact... www.vedur.is/vedurfar/yfirlit/climate_info_en.htmlIn Reykjavik in January, the mean daily maximum temperature between 1961 and 1990 was 1.9 degrees C, with the mean daily minimum temperature between 1961 and 1990 clocking in at -3.0 degrees C. "Iceland enjoys a much milder climate than its name and location adjacent to the Arctic circle would imply. A branch of the Gulf Stream flows along the southern and the western coast greatly moderating the climate. However, this brings mild Atlantic air in contact with colder Arctic air resulting in a climate that is marked by frequent changes in weather and storminess. Furthermore this leads to more rainfall in the southern and western part than in the northern part of the island." Who would have thunk it?
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Post by coffers on Jan 27, 2006 15:56:06 GMT
Hang on 38-32 = 6 now multiply by 5 and divide by 9, gives errrr 3.33333 recurring Centigrade.
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Post by Moo on Jan 27, 2006 16:05:42 GMT
Boony, you really are a wanker sometimes.
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Post by Boony on Jan 27, 2006 16:25:02 GMT
Who, me? Never... I'm just giving Coffs some background on his new home. :nark:
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Post by Moo on Jan 27, 2006 16:33:54 GMT
Ok, maybe wanker was a tad harsh. How does Midlander suit you?
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Post by Boony on Jan 27, 2006 16:39:25 GMT
Same thing, innit?
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Post by coffers on Jan 27, 2006 17:29:28 GMT
The 2006 Season Begins Here With Unending Friendlies and Some Upper League Cup Games:
The bookies give us odds of 80-1 against winning the title and fully expect us to be relegated.
25/01/2006 H. AEK Athens - We shaded the possession and maybe should have won this game, a draw would have been fair but a 65th minute AEK goal, when our defence seemed to be at sixes and sevens gave the Greek team a lucky win. Had we taken our chances it would have been over by half time. Lost 0-1. Attendance 3109. Weather a Dry 51°f.
Bugger central defender Severe Singlet dislocates his shoulder in training and could be out for 2 months.
01/02/2006 H. Aab - This was a great game, both teams battled hard to get a result and we were worthy winners in the end. A brilliant curling 30 yard shot from Darned Critter gave us a deserved lead at the break. Aab came back into the game a bit in the second period and plundered an equaliser with 10 minutes of the game remaining. Had the game ended like that it would have been a travesty, but it didn't Scratched Bit drifted in from the left on 84 and played a neat through ball to Raffia Pudding the right winger steadied himself and placed the ball inside the right post. Won 2-1. Attendance 3110. Weather a Dry 46°f.
Hide Away will join the U21's to face Chinese Taipan on 7th February. IR ask if they can have Trained Spotter for nothing, I almost bite their hands off, but refrain from offering money in case they smell a rat. Within 2 days he's gone and taken his £85 per month wages with him. Now I just need someone to remove Dirty Porthole from our squad, he's a waste of space and is costing us £300 per month.
08/02/2006 H. Toulouse - Just to prove the first humping of Toulouse wasn't a fluke, we did it again. Toulouse kicked off and BMX Flyer had us a goal in front after 13 seconds. Toulouse walked through us and equalised on 2.5 minutes. I needn't have worried, BMX Flyer had restored the lead on 12 and had his hat-trick on 20. Toulouse pulled a goal back 2 minutes before the oranges, but who came up trumps a minute into injury time? Yes BMX Flyer got his 4th. Eleven minutes into the second half and BMX Flyer added his and our fifth. The scoring was completed on 84 when Exhausted Pipe stepped up to lamp one in from 12 yards. Won 6-2. Attendance 3038. Weather a Dry 46°f again.
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Post by Sonic on Jan 30, 2006 6:32:55 GMT
Bloody hell Coffers, your someway into this already, though tit does help if that's all you do at work :humb:
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Post by coffers on Jan 30, 2006 8:41:51 GMT
Bloody hell Coffers, your someway into this already, though tit does help if that's all you do at work :humb: Tit certainly does help, sadly there's not enough of it at work. :humb: If it was all I did at work, I wouldn't have got a 12.67% pay rise earlier this month, nor would I have got the large bonus that the yanks decided to pay out to us all, for getting in their biggest project ever, up and running and live, a day early. Back in September it looked more likely to be delivered two months late.
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Post by Moo on Jan 30, 2006 9:23:49 GMT
Nice work Coffers, both on the update and the pay rise/bonus situation. I applaud thee and all thy greatness. Or something.
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Post by coffers on Jan 30, 2006 17:07:42 GMT
The 2006 Season Begins Here With Unending Friendlies and An Upper League Cup Game:
In a bid to get one last friendly in before the Upper League Cup competition starts on 18th February, Banik Ostrava are once again approached and accept a date on 13th February which came to pass very quickly.
13/02/2006 H. Banik Ostrava - This was a cracking game with both sides giving it their all. Fjolnir took the lead on 17 when Sky Train Flicked in a near post cross from Crystal Coolbox. Ostrava were level within 3 minutes after a neat passing sequence shredded our defence. Ostrava had the better of the remainder of the half but there was no further scoring. The opposition took the lead after 58, they fully deserved it for the pressure they had exerted. Changes were made and it was our turn to level 3 minutes later. Storm In A Teacup cracked in a great shot after being put through by Foghorn. With both sides pushing for the winner it was a surprise that one didn't come until 2 minutes into injury time, when Storm In A Teacup blasted an 18 yard shot into the top left hand corner, Exhausted pipe had provided him with the opportunity. Won 3-2. Attendance 3109. Weather: Wet and 37°f.
Both Ragnarok Replay and Entebbe Raider were injured during the game, but only Entebbe Raider will see time on the injury list, he'll be out for up to 2 weeks with a bruised head, which isn't particularly good news. As the opening Cup game approaches, we are made 6-4 favorites to beat First Division Þór who stand at 13/8 against beating us.
18/02/2006 A. Þór (Upper League Cup Grp A) - Þór caught us on the hop after only 2 minutes and planted a goal past a static defence. Then the slaughter of the innocents began, as BMX Flyer showed us all what he could do with a stunning double hat-trick. The first of his goals on 13 was a penalty, his second came on 21 after he had been fed by Foghorn. Number 3 came on 28 as he headed in a Foghorn near post cross. That ended the scoring in the first half as Þór tried to get back into the game. At the break Magnified Eye and Boris replaced Scratched Bit and Charmed Existence. Our 4th goal came on 54 when Foghorn got on the end of a Cyborg free-kick. Sky Train lamped our fifth on 72 after being sent through by a great BMX Flyer through ball. With 5 minutes to play, Magnified Eye sent in a great cross and BMX Flyer obliged with his 4th of the game. With seconds of normal time remaining Boris sent in a near post cross and BMX Flyer slid in to notch his fifth goal. Finally, four minutes into injury time, Sky Train was clattered in the area and BMX Flyer had his second hat-trick of the game. A fantastic result after a dreadful start. Won 8-1 Attendance 531. Weather: Wet and 46°f.
The board are delighted with the win, our ass-mass urges me to keep hold of, Man of the Match, BMX Flyer and we set 3 new records in the game; a new record Fjolnir win, a new Fjolnir record high scoring game and BMX Flyer records the most goals scored by one Fjolnir player in one game. The media described the result as a total destruction of Þór in what was initially expected to be a close game.
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Post by Sonic on Jan 30, 2006 23:06:05 GMT
Bloody hell Coffers, your someway into this already, though tit does help if that's all you do at work :humb: Tit certainly does help, sadly there's not enough of it at work. :humb: If it was all I did at work, I wouldn't have got a 12.67% pay rise earlier this month, nor would I have got the large bonus that the yanks decided to pay out to us all, for getting in their biggest project ever, up and running and live, a day early. Back in September it looked more likely to be delivered two months late. Mittens, I'm blaming the mittens. Tit would certainly help, and here as well, but seeing as it's still a month away until semester begins, it is a bit quiet. Well done on the pay rise and bonus work :thumb:
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2006 8:53:23 GMT
The 2006 Season Begins The Upper League Cup Games continue:The week gets off to a bad start as BMX Flyer twists his knee in training, he will be out of action for up to 4 weeks. This will give Storm In A Teacup a chance to claim the strikers role for his own, and also give the moaning Grommit a chance to warm the bench and maybe show what he can do when called on as a sub. The bookies have Keflavik as 4-7 favourites to win the next game we at a mere 4-1 have a good chance of cleaning up at the bookies. Fjolnir Vs Keflavik, Staring Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy (Roasted Rasta 72), DC's: Hide Away & Ragnarok Replay, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Sky Train (Boris 72) & Almost A Munster AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn, ST: Storm In A Teacup (Grommit 72). Unused Subs: Shouting At Wolves (GK), Raffia Pudding (AMR). 18/02/2006 H. Keflavik (Upper League Cup Grp A) - If either side thought this would be an easy game, then they were both wrong. Keflavik came to avoid defeat, the first half statistics easily showed that as Fjolnir wasted chance after chance to open the scoring, Keflavik finally managed a shot on target in the 43nd minute, Snooker Loopy saving well. Just as we thought that the first period would end with honours even Charmed Existence picked out Storm In A Teacup with a great defence splitting ball, the young striker drew the keeper before side stepping him and side footing the ball into an empty net. The second period was played in much the same way as the first period, with Keflavik keeping things tight and us wasting chances. Finally on 78, just as Keflavik had switched to 4-2-4 in search of the equaliser, Darned Critter put substitute Grommit through one-on-one with the keeper and it was 2-0, the game seemed as good as over. It wasn't, with 3 minutes to play Siggurosson rose unchallenged to head in a corner and make the remaining minutes of the game a bit more nerve racking. Won 2-1 Attendance 180. Weather: Dry 55°f. The board are pleased with the victory, the press describe the win as a vintage and breathtaking display of football which please me, as I thought we worked hard for the victory and thoroughly deserved it. There's a bit of a break now, about 10 days, until the next cup game so a friendly is arranged against Polish side, Wisla. Magnified Eye pulls a hamstring in training and could be in the treatment room for the next month. In England, Chelsea beat Arsenal 2-0 in the League Cup Final. A young versatile full back joins on trial for 4 weeks, he's 15 years old, Icelandic and is called Free Loafer. The board are delighted with progress, but better still, Framed For Posterity resumes training. Cyborg is being tracked by Djurgarden, even a asking price of £2.5M isn't putting them off. He has a £3M minimum release clause in his contract so we could end up losing him, it would be a blow but the money will be useful. 18/02/2006 H. Wisla (Friendly) - Despite dominating much of the first half, Wisla were unable to make a breakthrough and we end the half pressing strongly but to no avail. The second period saw no let up from Wisla pressure, we had a few chances but our finishing was poor. With the game rapidly coming to an end Wisla broke and scored, there was a minute left on the clock and we had nothing left in the tank. Lost 0-1 Attendance 3038. Weather: Dry 46°f. Djurgarden come in with a bid of £1.1M plus 50% of his next transfer fee, for Cyborg, I counter and ask for £5M or it's no deal. The press report that a deal of £1.6M has been offered. In the meantime Free Loafer has been offered and has accepted a contract as a hot prospect. Scratched Bit will be out with a facial injury for a couple of weeks and thankfully Djurgarden drop out of negotiations for the transfer of Cyborg. For our next cup game Valur are made 4-7 favourites, we are once again 4-1 against winning and I'll take a chance to try to boost my own income. Valur vs Fjolnir, Staring Line-up: GK: Snooker Loopy, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy, DC's: Hide Away & Framed For Posterity (Entebbe Raider 45), DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Sky Train & Almost A Munster AMR: Charmed Existence, AML: Foghorn (Roasted Rasta 71), ST: Storm In A Teacup (Grommit 71). Unused Subs: Shouting At Wolves (GK), Raffia Pudding (AMR). 08/03/2006 A. Valur (Upper League Cup Grp A) - Valur started with a defensive looking formation and stayed with it for most of the match. It made things difficult for us and it was no surprise that the only goal of the game came from a set piece. Darned Critter curled an eighteen yard beauty around the wall and beyond the diving keeper on 23 minutes. That gave us the lead at the break and we held on to it to the bitter end. If has to be said that Valur were a hard team and the yellow cards were flying, they ended up with 3 and we ended up with 2. Won 1-0 Attendance 661. Weather: Dry 55°f again. MOM Darned Critter (8) The board were delighted with the win over our rivals and the media agreed with my sentiments that Fjolnir fully deserved the victory. We now lead group A after 3 games by 3 points. I'm a bit worried about this save game as there are strange things occurring on the messages. See screen shot below: Is there any interest in seeing some images of the start player stats, some of which are looking damnably good, especially those on full time training?
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Post by Boony on Jan 31, 2006 9:18:52 GMT
Interesting bug. Do you have a chairman in your staff screen? Oh, and yeah! Show us stats and tribbies!
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2006 9:25:49 GMT
What Boony said.
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2006 9:47:28 GMT
Ok you asked for it, here starts an occassional series of Fjolnir player Stat-tributes.. First off probably the best two players on our books: Striker, BMX Flyer: and DMC, Darned Critter: Others will be shown at periodic intervals.
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Post by Boony on Jan 31, 2006 10:01:52 GMT
Looking pretty tasty, there. The wages you've got them on are bargainacious! I've got my player search set up with teamwork and workrate over 10, so I'd never have spotted Darned Critter. Unless a scout showed him up, that is.
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Post by Moo on Jan 31, 2006 10:11:51 GMT
Woah, they're cracking players, Coffs! I may do the same tongiht if i remember, show Six Foot Pigeon vs The Giant, a kind of Old Star vs New Star thing.
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2006 10:38:10 GMT
Surprisingly they weren't that cracking until I got them on full time contracts, but they were ok and put in decent performances to warrant offering them full time terms and better still they were both obtained for nothing.
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Post by Boony on Jan 31, 2006 10:40:50 GMT
Sweet. Training matters, kids! I'm getting my first team onto fulltime contracts, so hopefully we'll see some improvements... I'll try and get some screenies done tonight to show off my talent.
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Post by coffers on Jan 31, 2006 13:59:45 GMT
The 2006 The Upper League Cup Games continue:Our next game is at home against IA in 10 days time, I decide against arranging another friendly in order to avoid adding any more players to the injury list. It will be interesting to see how we have progressed against IA, as in previous friendly meetings last season they beat us 4-3 and we drew a second game 3-3. Now Snooker Loopy has gone down with a groin strain that will keep him out for up to a month. Free Loafer joins the injury list for up to 4 weeks. We are now without a goalkeeper as Shouting At Wolves goes down with a shoulder injury for up to a month. 16yo Swedish MC, Eye Of A Dalek signs up as a hot prospect from Brommapojkarna for a fee of £2k plus 35% of any future sale. Even better a 16yo Swedish goalkeeper, who we have been watching for a while, signs hot prospect terms and joins us on a free from Djurmo, his name is Bridge Hag, he'll go straight into the team for the game against IA. The bookies are expecting IA to hump us good and proper and have made them 1-2 favourites for the game. I'm not expecting much different as the only fit goalkeeper that we have on the books is the 16 year old that we have just signed. Fjolnir Vs IA, Staring Line-up: GK: Bridge Hag, DR: Cyborg, DL: Used Crash Dummy (Roasted Rasta 61), DC's: Hide Away & Framed For Posterity, DMC: Darned Critter, MC's: Sky Train & Boris AMR: Charmed Existence (Eye Of A Dalek 61, Almost A Munster 82), AML: Foghorn, ST: Storm In A Teacup. Unused Subs: A Grey Keeper (GK), Entebbe raider (D/RLC). 18/02/2006 H. IA (Upper League Cup Grp A) - IA start brightly and Bridge Hag gets a couple of early touches which I hoped would build his confidence, but after the initial push we start to impress ourselves on the game. Storm In A Teacup has a couple of chances before he finally latches onto a through ball from Darned Critter after 18 minutes, to open the scoring with a 18 yard shot. Two minutes later Storm In A Teacup turns provider with a cross that Charmed Existence heads in from 4 yards. On 25 a series of quick passes gets Boris in on the left of the 6 yard box, his cut back is side footed in by Sky Train. We controlled the rest of the half though IA made a half hearted attempt to come back into the game. The second half as more of the same us controlling with some efforts on IA's part. On 81 we got a forth, Darned Critter hit a 25 yard pass across the edge of the area and Framed For Posterity planted the ball nonchalantly into the left corner of the goal. It looked like game over, but it wasn't IA stepped up the tempo and on 88 stole in at the back post to pull a goal back. Two minutes into injury time another back post header gave them a second, we were falling apart, but thankfully it looked as if it was too late for IA to do anything about it. Three minutes thirty seconds into injury time and it definitely was too ate, Almost A Munster pushed the ball into Storm In A Teacup's path and he killed the game dead from 8 yards. Won 5-2, Attendance 163. Weather: Wet 53°f. MOM Darned Critter (10) Our new goalkeeper came through unscathed and registered a rating of 8. The other new signing got a stint too and did enough to show he could come good in the future before leaving the field following a knock. Tempers flared in IA's dressing room after the game ended as their manager let rip, apparently he was extremely unhappy with the performance and told the players exactly what he thought about them. Our board fans and players alike were delighted with the victory and better still BMX Flyer resumed training. Two goal hero Storm In A Teacup's stat-tributes follow (he's also on a full time contract): Reports come in that Newcastle have the receivers in and will listen to all reasonable offers for their players. We now have a 17 day break before our next cup match in March so it's friendly time again, FC Groningen of Holland agree to make an appearance on our turf on 29th March. 16 year old Swedish D/RC, Extreme Santa joins us from Brommapojkarna on a free as a hot prospect, he's probably more suited to a right back role than centre back as he can't jump, is only 5ft 6in tall and weighs in at 10st 9lbs. He commented that he couldn't wait to make his debut, though he didn't expect to get into the side straight away. He's keen. Magnified Eye joins in training again. 18/02/2006 H. FC Groningen (Friendly) - Foghorn gave us a deserved lead after only 8 minutes of a first half that we dominated. Unfortunately Bridge Hag couldn't hold a 30 yard shot, from Nevland, 7 minutes before the break and allowed the ball to slip from his grasp into the net. The honours were even at the break. Two minutes into the second half and Groningen go the winner, a break down our right saw Bridge Hag only parry a cross shot into the path of an onrushing striker. Again we totally dominate the second period but couldn't make it count. It was disappointing to lose, but at least BMX Flyer is back in the frame and the cash reserves will be increased. Lost 1-2, Attendance 3086. Weather: Wet 46°f. I turned down a deal worth around £1.6M for this full back:
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