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Post by Moo on May 16, 2014 18:50:20 GMT
Oh Ashington! Is wonderful! Oh Ashington is wonderful! It's full of pubs, bookies and chip shops, Oh Ashington is wonderful.
So as we know, there's only one team in Wansbeck, that being Ashington AFC, custodians of Woodhorn Lane in the Northern League Division 1. Over the last few years, they've been bobbing about in this division, waiting to be brought back down to earth.
Hi.
Ashington are in Step 5 of the pyramid, with Conference Premier being Step 1, so we have some way to go to get anywhere near playing Gateshead, Burton Albion and the like. Down in these depths, the norm is to have players on a non-contract basis, so essentially pay-as-you-play and you can effectively be nabbed by another team at any time, wage budgets permitting. Regarding ours, Ashington has a weekly budget of £1000, with two players Matthew Grieve (DC) and Phil Bell (SC) on £300 and £250 respectively. As you can imagine, trying to get players in and under a contract is difficult. I've tried my best to fill out a squad and am sending my scout away through the Northern League Div 1 and 2 to look for impending replacements. You'll appreciate that players who can operate in multiple positions are priceless in this league.
We managed to get Newcastle U21s and Sunderland U21s over to us for friendlies purely for the pennies and I think that will have to be my strategy each summer. I don't think I'll let the AssMan sort those out, I need to pick money-spinners. Pre-season went OK (player searches notwithstanding) with a 2-2-2 record; most pleasing was a 3-2 home win over East Fife, but as of mid-August, we've lost both league games and hoping some cohesion is forthcoming.
For info, we only have 23 teams currently, as one went bust IRL pre-season, so there are only 2 relegation spots this year although I expect 3 next season. The good news is that there is only one promotion spot, so no stupid playoff rubbish.
More news when it happens...
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Post by Moo on May 16, 2014 21:01:52 GMT
August 2013 So we started with two defeats in the league then we were entertained by Stourbridge Swifts in the Extra Prelim Round of the FA Cup. We managed a 1-1 draw then took them back to Woodhorn Lane three days later and beat them 2-0 with our only two shots on goal. The problem we have with the squad is fitness. I wouldn't dream of playing anyone with fitness under 90% never mind at the 80% mark, but we have to here. Kyle Oliver keeping the midfield intact despite being knackered. Successive draw against Durham City and in form Marske United drags us out of the bottom two places with a trip to Billingham Town next up in the league.
THe Prelim ROund in the FA Cup had us drawn at home to Long Buckby from United Counties League Prem Div (habited by Kempston Rovers, Wellingbrough and Newport Pagnell) where we cruised to a 2-0 victory with a goal from centre half Matty Grieve, returning from injury.
Whisper it, but I'm enjoying the fact that you can see just how clueless these fookers are.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 16, 2014 23:49:45 GMT
You beat Long Buckby? OAP!
Good to see some life back in this place!
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Post by Moo on May 20, 2014 20:17:21 GMT
Halfway through the month and this is too good not to share straight away...
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 20, 2014 20:29:26 GMT
If you had a good Director of Football like Kinnear, that much would literally last forever!
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Post by Moo on May 20, 2014 21:22:30 GMT
Funny because it's true!
September 2013 Billingham Town scored two late goals to snatch a draw at their place in a six goal thriller, but then on, it was a great month. Two good wins, 3-1 and 4-1 pulled us into midtable before the first of three consecutive cup games. Unfortunately, we lost in the money-spinner, a 2-1 defeat at AFC Totton, but wins at home to Ryton in the League Cup (above) and then 5-0 away at Christchurch in the FA Vase geared us up for two further league wins.
We're now seven games unbeaten in the league and up to 6th in the table. Celtic Nation are absolutely bossing it though and are an 8-2-1 team and looking favourites to gain the only promotion spot already. We have them in a couple of games time, and even if we win, I can't see anyone getting to them.
I have a settled first XI, I think, although there's a couple of players being sniffed at, and I'm actively looknig for replacements with this in mind. I'm hoping that my scouts work has been wasted though.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 20, 2014 23:22:00 GMT
How is the scouting at this level? Do you just use them to find someone who can stand on one leg without falling over and then go purely by the player's stats? Or are you putting anyone on a non-contract who'll take one?
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Post by Moo on May 21, 2014 9:31:05 GMT
You might not be surprised to hear that my scout isn't very good. He tends to rate everyone's potential who isn't at the club at a 4 or 4.5 stars, whilst the existing players were a 1 or 2. Thinking about it, it does seem that the star ratings may well be linked with your level of play, but I'd have to keep an eye on that. If I ever get promoted with this lot I'll be able to monitor that but it's guesswork at the minute. As for who I'm signing, there were a lot of scout recommendations that just wouldn't entertain my team non-contract (NC) or part-time (PT) which was a little frustrating, so when you do find someone willing to talk, you do feel as though you panic-buy a little.
I've been fortunate in that the lads drafted in are certainly ok for us and because I'm trying to keep things as simple as possible tactics-wise, I think that's helping. I've also been fortunate that nobody has come in for any of the NC players yet, but also nobody wants the PT guys either, especially the two that are on the large wages. THey've both been playing well (one is DC, the other ST) so I'm hoping for bites there as I have replacements in the squad ready to come in. It would also allow me to tie up some of the better NC guys to PT contracts so that I can then get a fee for them if I'm lucky.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 21, 2014 13:39:08 GMT
I think the stars are purely a measure of how good a scout believes a player to be, compared to who's currently on your team. So when a player joins your team his star value can change considerably as the coaching staff get a proper look at him.
Everyone being 5 stars doesn't mean they're all the next Pele, just that they're all the next Pele compared to the various pieces of office furniture you've currently got in your starting XI.
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Post by Moo on May 21, 2014 22:47:03 GMT
October 2013 Busy.
To continue our non-losing streak we hosted Morpeth who snatched a late equaliser in a 2-2 draw, but we fared better away at Hebburn. We were in firm control with our 2-1 win and our main striker Bell managed a brace. We had our captain Matty Grieve go off with an injury that would put him out for a few games though, so every cloud...
Next up were league leaders Celtic Nation and we earned a credible 0-0 after going down to 10 men in the first half. We had to tighten it up at the back as their main striker, McMenamin, was just tearing us a new one. Our keeper being the equal of their 700 a week salaried striker.
Sunderland RCA also drew but again we managed a good result in a cup, Newport Pagnell succumbing to us by a three goal margin. in the Vase 1st rd. However our league run ended at home to Spennymoor, with another win at home to West Auckland at least putting that right.
We end the month in 8th on 24 pts with Celtic Nation on 34 in 1st and Sunderland RCA in 2nd with 27. Toight.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 22, 2014 12:39:15 GMT
their 700 a week salaried striker. Cheats! Oh well. Another 13 cup wins at fifty quid each and you'll be able to get your own expensive striker. For a week.
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Post by Moo on May 22, 2014 13:34:18 GMT
Some good math there, Stu.
But yes, I'm a little jealous.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 22, 2014 16:06:20 GMT
Thanks. I wrote a formula in Excel to do the math for me.
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Post by Moo on May 23, 2014 20:27:40 GMT
November 2013 Ugh.
Six league games in the month, won 2 and lost 4. The two cup games in between were both lost so we're out of the Vase and out of the League Cup. With Celtic Nation still miles ahead in the league, we have absolutely nothing to play for, other than my job. And we know how well I do at keeping those in FMland.
The pleasing news is that debt-ridden Ashington (currently 20k in the red) are subject to a takeover bid. I can't imagine the new guys wanting to sack me and bring a new guy in, right?
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Post by coffers on May 28, 2014 14:58:31 GMT
Anything is possible.
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Post by Moo on May 29, 2014 11:23:53 GMT
December 2013 A 3-2 home defeat to Shildon wasn't the best of starts to the month and meant we had lost five on the bounce. The fact that we scored in this game was pleasing as we hadn't scored in the rprevious four defetas. It seemed to give us a bit of confidence as we then won three league games on the bounce to get us back up towards the chasing pack. After a hard fought 0-1 at Olivier Bernard's Durham City side, the confirmation came through that the club had been bought and that the new owners will look to see if they want to bring in their own manager.
Oops.
Of course the best course possible scenario would be to play the team lying second from bottom at Woodhorn Lane, right?
A 2-2 draw might not be good enough to save my job though. We start 2014 not knowing how long I'll be a Collier...
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Post by Moo on May 29, 2014 16:04:18 GMT
January 2014 A creditable 2-2 away at Dunston who were 5th and then a resounding 4-2 victory at home to Gainsbrough were inconsequential. Moo Ski was sacked on 9th January.
If this is a "feature" of the game, it's wank.
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Post by Moo on May 29, 2014 16:44:06 GMT
It's now 9th March and I must have applied for over 150 jobs. Pretty much all of them have laughed off my interest.
Might need to retire and then reapply somewhere.
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Post by Moo on May 29, 2014 17:27:49 GMT
I spoke too soon. I got offered an interview with Cottesmore Amatuers in Leicestershire and after a nervous five days, I got the job. Hurrah. Now all I need to do is hope I don't get involved in a board takeover.
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Post by Moo on May 30, 2014 15:41:18 GMT
April/May 2014 A win then a defeat in the last two game of the season and the Cottesmore Amateurs finished 3rd in the league for £750 in prize money. After a bit of a dig around, it seemed that I was the beneficiary of a board takeover this time and the new board had offered me a wage bill of 3k, which was three times more than at Ashington, two steps up the pyramid. I didn't go mental, but did start to offer some decent free agents contracts for 30-50 p/w.
At the end of May it seems that the board have reduced the wage budget to £350. I'm screwed... again.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 30, 2014 20:24:02 GMT
The board is taunting you now too?
[laughing Germans go here]
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Post by Moo on May 31, 2014 12:50:02 GMT
Wish I could find that photo again.
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deej
Zebra Spider
Posts: 67
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Post by deej on Jan 27, 2015 2:17:21 GMT
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Post by Moo on Jan 27, 2015 12:07:48 GMT
Deej!
Also.. ze Germans!
Like others, I will now save that picture somewhere for future use.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jan 28, 2015 15:05:33 GMT
i have to send in pictures of my kid's family for school. I'm totally adding those guys in as German Uncles.
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