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Post by coffers on Apr 9, 2008 14:15:55 GMT
Very nice work. :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 9, 2008 14:31:38 GMT
I think someone might be trying just a little too hard.
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Post by Boony on Apr 9, 2008 14:45:16 GMT
It's only because of the physio...
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 9, 2008 15:40:47 GMT
So I went on a GIS for "nurse Garraway" and ended up finding a site where a clearly talented graphic artist drawing type person has comics in which popular female celebrities are drawn in flagrante delicto with various well-endowed comic males.
One of them has Carole Vorderman in a santa outfit lifting her skirt to reveal her mitten dyed red white and green and shaved into a christmas tree pattern.
...
Clearly modern psychotherapy has been replaced by just giving each of the world's lunatics a website. Which is daft, because if you give them a forum you can trap eight or nine together at once.
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Post by Moo on Apr 9, 2008 16:10:07 GMT
I'll be back later... I have errr... research to do.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 9, 2008 16:28:36 GMT
Leaving aside comicbook images of Fern Britten spitting into Lorraine Kelly's balloon knot for a second, I got this message, which I hadn't seen before. I'm not sure that winning eight headers in 90 minutes is "absurd", but they're probably short of things to get excited about in Slough.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 9, 2008 19:55:19 GMT
:thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 10, 2008 3:14:42 GMT
December 2007 was an up and down month as the usual SpInG christmas present arrived in the form of general poor morale, wobbly form and our best player throwing a strop. Merry forking ho ho. Of course, I came into the month with a six point lead at the top and left the month with... a six point lead at the top, so I don't expect much sympathy from the likes of Moo for my "terrible" month, but I did manage to annoy the board by crashing out of two cup competitions and overspending for five minutes. The cup defeats came in back-to-back weeks as we slumped to a 2-0 defeat at home to Kettering and then took Wycombe to penalties in the Setanta Cup, whatever that is, before losing as we always do when the game goes to spot kicks. I think I've won roughly 10% of my FM career penalty shoot outs. We were two down against Wycombe at the half before mounting a great comeback to force the game to extra time. Wycombe destroyed us in the extra half hour, but couldn't find a way past Sean Thomas in our goal. Losing to Wycombe wouldn't have been too bad, as they are from the Blue Square Conference Premier, but because it followed the Kettering loss and that game followed a ghastly 1-1 with Havant and Waterlooville in which Lee Clarke rescued a point with a late, late goal. After I had a shout at the team in three successive games everyone was in a strop, especially top-scorer Robert Dale. The D-L-L run became D-L-L-D when we failed to beat another shite team in the shape of Cambridge City - home of the Gash I'm so interested in. We scored through Paul Bruce who grabbed his first goal for the club, but then immediately leaked an equaliser in the delightful gap between pressing "tactics" and the changes implemting - the infamous "SpInG Grand Canyon of Fuck You." Now that the moaning's over, I should mention that we did win some games and at the end of the month everyone was happy. Happier. We finished with two remarkably similar victories as we beat Bognor Regis and Basingstoke 2-1 after trailing 1-0 in both games. Bognor suffer at the hands of some unlikely scorers, as defender Pat Kanyuka belts in a header, after DM Chris Seeby lashes in a 25 yarder, showing a level of skill a just a fraction above his usual level. Basingstoke are put to the sword by Scott Cousins who comes off the bench and immediately gets to take a penalty and then Robert Dale who breaks the offside trap to wrap up the three points. Amusingly Basingstoke get in a right tizzy with the ref, having a guy sent off for a professional foul and then getting four booked complaining about it. They then have another three booked complaining to the linesman about our winner which they claim was offside. After the game their manager gets a written warning from the FA for calling the ref a canute. I tell the press "I didn't see anything" primarily because my view was obscured by my written warning from the FA.
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Post by coffers on Apr 10, 2008 8:00:25 GMT
Despite the wobble that's still a mighty fine position to be in. How did Kate's twin engines react to the wobble?
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Moo on Apr 10, 2008 8:32:08 GMT
Bognor suffer at the hands of some unlikely absurd scorers, as defender Pat Kanyuka belts in a header, after DM Chris Seeby lashes in a 25 yarder, showing a level of skill a just a fraction above his usual level. FYP. And yes, I'm annoyed at your so-called wobble. KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Sonic on Apr 10, 2008 10:46:15 GMT
December came and went with 6 points still the gap? That's a decent month.
This game can be really annoying. A 1-6 loss I suffered was written up in the press as unlucky, and then I looked at the game stats proper like...:moop:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 10, 2008 17:35:27 GMT
Bognor suffer at the hands of some unlikely absurd scorers, as defender Pat Kanyuka belts in a header, after DM Chris Seeby lashes in a 25 yarder, showing a level of skill a just a fraction above his usual level. FYP. And yes, I'm annoyed at your so-called wobble. KUTGW! Blimey. It's almost as if you've been paying attention. I knew I made you assman for a reason.
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Post by coffers on Apr 10, 2008 22:33:22 GMT
Aye, he's annoyed because he didn't know which ass wobble to watch.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 11, 2008 2:26:20 GMT
January 2008 - With a nod to the SpInG gods of messing you up just when you think you've sorted this game out, I have to say that this is all pretty easy. The first month of the year of brings me my second manager of the month award as I cruise through the month without allowing a goal, dropping points only when we can't find a way past Hayes' defence. In the other games we beat Bath 2-0 at home and then stick 3-0 wins on both Thurrock and Fisher at their grounds in really pleasing performances. Robert Dale has a slow month with just the three goals, although Junior Harvey does get two tap-ins as a result of Dale shots that are parried. 14 points clear with 14 games to go...
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Post by coffers on Apr 11, 2008 8:17:33 GMT
Excellent stuff! :thumb:
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Post by Moo on Apr 11, 2008 11:28:51 GMT
January 2008 - With a nod to the SpInG gods of messing you up just when you think you've sorted this game out, I have to say that this is all pretty easy. :moop:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 11, 2008 11:39:01 GMT
The formation I've come up with works - lots of short passing in the midfield diamond draws the opposition in and then long diagonal balls to pacey AML/AMR gets in behind the defence a lot - and I got my prized FM asset of one good forward. For French Horn, see Robert Dale. It seems like a Captain Obvious tip, but getting that one forward who can nick a goal when you're playing bad or two when you're playing well is priceless - he covers for a multitude of sins and idiots in the rest of the team.
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Post by Boony on Apr 11, 2008 11:42:17 GMT
See Louis Briscoe in my Gateshead FM07 team...
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 11, 2008 11:59:55 GMT
Dale is no French Horn when it comes to scoring from anywhere - that French lad could spank in some beauties from 25 yards almost at will, while Dale's composure means that he gets a bit panicky when closed down and ends up shoeing the ball into the car park, but he keeps on trying, bless. It's not unusual for him to finish a game with 3 shots on target from 7 shots, two goals and 7 offsides. Yes, he's a 6'7" Pipo Inzaghi.
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Post by coffers on Apr 11, 2008 12:20:35 GMT
From my Serbia & Montenegro adventure:
I'd have liked him to have been a striker, but his shooting stas were crap if I recall correctly.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 11, 2008 12:42:23 GMT
I've got a 6'7" centreback too, called Ben Martin. The pair of them make a mess at corners.
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Post by coffers on Apr 11, 2008 13:00:51 GMT
Nice.
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Post by Sonic on Apr 11, 2008 13:34:31 GMT
Like the last table Stu posted too :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Apr 11, 2008 13:39:42 GMT
February 2008 is the month when the AI makes its much anticipated attempt to bore us out of our formation with a series of 4-4-2 defensive, 5-3-2 and 4-5-1 formations, including a stupid 4-5-1 with two defensive midfielders behind three central midfielders. But seriously... we're from Slough. How high do you think our tolerence for boredom is? So I change nothing, happy to take the 0-0 at home to Sutton and Dorchester, knowing that they'll be enough for me to win the title and that the AI will have to venture out away from home. Newport County come forward looking for a win for sure and I'm happy at this because they knocked our winning run off the rails early in the season with a spawny 1-0 that got me a warning form the FA for moaning about a penalty. Newport are the first team to try to attack us this month, as shown by the fact that they're 3-0 down after a half hour thanks to a hattrick of neat finishes on the counter from Rob Dale. Game of the month though is the trip to Hampton and Richmond who spawn an early goal when an Elliot Godfrey shot hits Kanyuka and goes left with the keeper already going right. Ahead 1-0 at home "Hampmond" turn turtle and switch to a 5-1-2-2 formation to keep the lead to the break. I give the boys the "you can win this" inspiration and they go out and do just that, Rob Dale evening the score with a flick header on the end of a 70 yard punt from defender Tom Roberts and then a Marcel Mackie corner is turned into his own net by Ian Simpemba for 2-1 Divots. The home side spend the last 20 minutes in SpInGs 4-2-4 of death, but I switch my wingers to free roles and they just go and stand in holes in the defence, which means whenever we get the ball we have an outlet to a guy who can run the ball into the oppositions corner and get fouled. Amusingly, Hampton and Richmond's manager gets the monthly award. :moop: Still, he needs something to look at now he can't see Sanctuary any more, from his position 22 points back. Bishop Stortford's scorelines for the month are 1-4, 2-2, 3-2, 3-3 and a boring 2-0 to finish. And speaking of Keegan... Newcastle beat Arsenal 4-3 in a replay in the fourth round of the FA Cup having drawn the first leg at St James 3-3 and then promptly lose 3-2 in the fifth round. To Stoke.
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Post by coffers on Apr 11, 2008 15:20:55 GMT
Nice looking table that, but we're only 11 points ahead now, should we be worried? I'm looking to Kate for comfort. :humb:
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