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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 11, 2006 16:19:59 GMT
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 11, 2006 16:37:59 GMT
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 11, 2006 17:22:38 GMT
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Post by Narcizo on May 11, 2006 17:23:44 GMT
You're a star s1ut. Don't let the rest of the world tell you otherwise. Particularly not moo.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 11, 2006 20:39:21 GMT
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Post by Moo on May 11, 2006 21:33:24 GMT
You're a star s1ut. Don't let the rest of the world tell you otherwise. Particularly not moo. I certainly would say he's a star, mainly because you say so and it's in my bail conditions that I have to agree with you. KUTGW! Oh and the same for you, s1ut.
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Post by Sonic on May 12, 2006 1:20:07 GMT
"...because I'll have sold you all by a week Thursday."
Class.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 16, 2006 17:15:17 GMT
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Post by Sonic on May 17, 2006 0:31:18 GMT
I think your next signing should be the Sun Dance Kid.
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Post by coffers on May 17, 2006 7:31:56 GMT
I thought you already had? You beat me to the nether regions of the Conference (probably with Barrow-in-Furness), but only because I'm commited to seeing out my contract at cITEH! That's one more season after this. Maybe I should be committed? KUTGW!
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Post by Moo on May 17, 2006 8:50:14 GMT
The old "just one more season" gambit? A schoolboy error. I'll be in the Conf North next season myself, Coffers, with Blyth Spartans.
Hurry up and get to the action, s1ut!
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Post by Boony on May 17, 2006 9:36:05 GMT
Bedford Town are in the Conference South next season... In other news, I know a little spider monkey who wants to play for St Albans, s1ugt.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 17, 2006 11:25:20 GMT
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 17, 2006 12:10:58 GMT
Time for the inevitible squad listing then, as we get ready for a trip to exotic Eastleigh for our first Conference South game. Fat Guys Who Were Picked Last at SchoolTurkey Baster - Old fart who was originally fourth on the depth chart for keepers, behind the other two and a an inflatable sumo wreslter suit. Only 5'9" though, which is going to cause problems, I'm sure. Chilly Out and Fridge Shop back up the Baster - both are young (21 and 20) and have height more suitable for a keeper, as both are 6'2". Sadly, Chilly is just about ok, but Fridge is Woeful. Better at kicking people than that ball thingThe odd couple start at the back for us, in the shape of 5'9" Fatal Exception and 6'7" Cocktail Cubs who bring the lack of pace and ability at the back that we're looking for. AssMan Chicken Pilot is the primary backup, while loanee Burning Ants is more likely to see time at the DM position. Tennis Elbow is just a meatsack that's slightly better than having a gap at the position. Big Family and Gentleman's Club start at the dreaded fullback position and won't be asked to do any of that overlapping nonsense, although Big Family has a long throw that'll land the ball somewhere in the Sea of Tranquility and Club is our best corner taker. Think they can passDistance Toffee is the holding player in the centre of our midfield, next to Tribute who is the creative fulcrum, if only because I've written "Creative Fulcrum" on my tactics page before looking at the playing roster. The left side is pretty much owned by Cereal Optimist, if only because we only have one other player who can go there, (Back Pocket) and he doesn't make the bench as we have other needs. On the right it's either AMR Method Actor or D/WB R, M R Widespread Disappointment depending on whether we need someone who can't really attack or someone who can't really defend. Knitted Sweater is a new freebie AMC who needs to be blooded before he gets a starting gig, while Stolen Arms can fill in at DM, but won't make the 16 man squad unless there are lots of injuries. Madame Palm rounds out the midfield at AMR. Glamour BoysThe first name on the teamsheet is Purple Hayes who is young, tall, pretty quick and has a decent shot, which marks him out as the class up front for us by some margin. The supporting role alongside Hayes is a rotation right now, between freebie old fella Victorian Birdbath who looks calm on the ball if not physically gifted any more, Orient loanee Sunday School Exile and the interesting AM/FC, Swimming School, who can play a bunch of different roles and give us the flexibilty for me to say "in the hole" a lot in post-match press conferences. Cat Sand is rubbish and Double Dip is worse. And injured. | Pkd | Inf | Name | Position | Nat | Height | Weight | Age | Value | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S1 | | Chilly Out | GK | ENG | 6'2" | 13 st 7 lbs | 21 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Fridge Shop | GK | ENG | 6'2" | 13 st 5 lbs | 20 | £0 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | GK | | Turkey Baster | GK | ENG | 5'9" | 11 st 11 lbs | 35 | £3K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S5 | | Chicken Pilot | D C | IRL | 5'9" | 11 st 13 lbs | 26 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | | Cocktail Cubs | D C | ENG | 6'7" | 14 st 13 lbs | 22 | £1K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | | Fatal Exception | D C | ENG | 5'9" | 12 st 1 lbs | 19 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Burning Ants | D C, DM | NGA | 6'3" | 13 st 7 lbs | 19 | £14K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Tennis Elbow | D C, DM | ENG | 6'4" | 15 st 1 lbs | 20 | £0 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MR | | Widespread Disappointment | D/WB R, AM R | ENG | 5'7" | 10 st 12 lbs | 20 | £1K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DL | | Big Family | D/WB L | ENG | 5'10" | 11 st 13 lbs | 22 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DR | | Gentleman's Club | D/M R | ENG | 5'10" | 11 st 6 lbs | 24 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | | Distance Toffee | DM | ENG | 5'10" | 12 st 3 lbs | 21 | £3K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Stolen Arms | DM | ENG | 5'8" | 12 st 1 lbs | 32 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Back Pocket | M LC | CMR | 6'0" | 13 st 0 lbs | 21 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S3 | | Tribute | M C | ENG | 5'10" | 11 st 9 lbs | 21 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Madame Palm | AM R | ENG | 5'9" | 11 st 11 lbs | 24 | £1K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S2 | | Method Actor | AM RC | IRL | 5'7" | 11 st 0 lbs | 20 | £7K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | ML | | Cereal Optimist | AM L | NIR | 5'10" | 11 st 11 lbs | 30 | £7K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Knitted Sweater | AM C | IRL | 5'11" | 11 st 13 lbs | 24 | £1K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | | Swimming Stone | AM/F C | ENG | 5'8" | 11 st 4 lbs | 23 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | | Cat Sand | ST | ENG | 6'4" | 14 st 11 lbs | 19 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Inj | Double Dip | ST | ENG | 5'10" | 12 st 6 lbs | 26 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | | Purple Hayes | ST | NIR | 6'1" | 12 st 1 lbs | 22 | £0 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S4 | | Sunday School Exile | ST | ENG | 5'9" | 11 st 13 lbs | 17 | £2K | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | | Victorian Birdbath | ST | IRL | 5'10" | 11 st 13 lbs | 33 | £0 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
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Post by coffers on May 17, 2006 12:19:36 GMT
You've got a player worth double figure thousands there Stu, can that be right?
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 17, 2006 12:30:43 GMT
He's on loan to us, from the giants of Rushden and Diamonds.
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Post by Moo on May 17, 2006 12:50:41 GMT
He plays for two teams? Wowsers.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 18, 2006 19:38:20 GMT
August 2005(clicky) A promising start to Jez's Saints career, as we win three and lose one in the first month, rolling to fourth place on nine points, one off the lead.
The games have hardly been entertaining though, finishing 0-1, 1-0, 1-0, 1-0 as we follow up a defeat to Eastleigh, with a slightly surprising win over Havant and two others over Weston Super Mare and Yeading.
33 year old forward Victorian Birdbath is the man so far, with two goals, the assist on our third and two Man of the Match awards.
Loan signing Burning Ants looks like a very good find for the DC/DM role, so I'm glad to have him on loan for the rest of the season.
One of the easiest decisions of my managerial career comes as Ass Man Chicken Pilot reports to me about an injury to Forward Purple Hayes, suffered in the Yeading game. Pilot wants to know if I'd like our physio to treat Hayes, resulting in the forward being out for between two days and two weeks, or send Hayes away to a clinic for an injection in the injury, which will result in Hayes being out for between two and five weeks.
Hmm, let me think.
Get out of my office you plank!
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Post by coffers on May 18, 2006 20:30:04 GMT
I never bother with the injects now, as I've found the guy may be able to play but his fitness level doesn't improve anyway and the injured player is still too knackered to play.
Anyhow, good work. Keep It Up.
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Post by Sonic on May 18, 2006 23:59:10 GMT
I've never bothered with injuries, as it takes them longer to get back to full fitness.
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Post by Boony on May 19, 2006 8:55:48 GMT
You made the back page of the Herts News? Nice! What the fuck is that baby doing on there, though? Is it John Hartson? I love the "cu... (continued on page 34)". Genius.
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on May 19, 2006 11:21:38 GMT
Yeah, it's meant to be Hartson - I guess I should have been a bit more specific, but I didn't want to do the "John Hartson, yesterday" thing - been there, done that. Even doing a paper seemed a bit Chita at first.
The game is going to be fairly slow to update, so that should let me fiddle with the paper a bit more. Hopefully I can remember how to be funny now and then.
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Post by Narcizo on May 19, 2006 11:29:47 GMT
Ask moo for pointers. He must be funny because little children in the streets point at him and laugh.
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Post by Moo on May 19, 2006 11:44:19 GMT
That's very true, Narkle. I hate you.
You'll get no funniness pointers from me, I need them all for myself. I'm due to be moderately amusing a week on Sunday when I make a "hilarious" quip about a birthday present.
Hint hint.
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Post by Narcizo on May 19, 2006 11:50:26 GMT
You want a hint for a joke?
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