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Post by Narcizo on Oct 27, 2008 14:40:17 GMT
That's pretty good for being a house husband, shirley? No bugger would work ever again over here if it was that good. What's the catch? Well it's a percentage of what you're currently earning (55% of what I'm earning), so it's not really enough to keep you at the level you're used to. And the fact that if you don't find a job within a year or so then you're probably screwed long-term on the job market. Anyway, after tax it turns out to be about £800/month. Which would be fairy muff if I lived on my own or wanted to commit myself to long-term unemployment/housewifing (If I'd have got that when I was unemployed coming out of Uni I would have probably killed myself with alcohol poisoning). Anyway, the shock is starting to wear off now that I've basically realised that they are going to lay me off, for all their talk about things not being decided yet. So hopefully I can pull myself together and begin the amusing task of looking for jobs and updating my CV.
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Post by coffers on Oct 27, 2008 15:12:57 GMT
It's always good to start early, and whilst you are there, they should be helping you with that side of things, running the rule over CV style etc at the very least.
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Post by floplexter on Oct 27, 2008 15:45:54 GMT
Bummer, Narkleton. Real bummer. Good luck with the next step.
Househusbandry is so appealing, other than the whole fact that I can't cook and all that. I mean, if I was a househusband, my face would probably fall off.
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Post by hornet on Oct 27, 2008 16:43:40 GMT
Yeah, sorry Nark. Hope it all sorts itself out, mate.
Elaine earns about three times as much as I do, so househusbandry would definitely be an option if I didn't hate housework more than I hate actual work.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 27, 2008 19:35:01 GMT
I'm going to stick with my blind optimism and presume that Narkle is going to keep his job through some twist of fate. Like his major opposition gets conscripted into the Burkina Faso Navy, or something.
This may be purely because I'm in an odd mood however, as I've just had a phonecall to tell me that I've been voted "Employee of the Month." ... err...
As a result I've won a Wii and Wii Fit (wait... you're saying I'm fat?), but I already have those things, so what I've actually won is the couple of hundred quid I'll get for selling those things.
The email confirmation I got says that "regardless of the situation always calm in demeanour and consistent in the level of work [that I] produce."
You've no idea how true that last part is.
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Post by DC on Oct 27, 2008 19:57:42 GMT
Looks like a polite way of saying you're a "lazy workshy poof", oh, and a fat gaming geek by the looks of things.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 27, 2008 20:02:32 GMT
Aye, that was the joke about reviews at GM. We'd sit around thinking of gems like "Produces a suprising amount of work" as ways of giving someone a review they wouldn't moan about, while still getting the point across.
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Post by Moo on Oct 28, 2008 8:21:49 GMT
That's fucking mint, Stu. :thumb: And to be fair, if they actually did know how much work you actually did, they'd get you two Wii Fits - so they could run you out of town quicker.
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Post by floplexter on Oct 28, 2008 8:47:01 GMT
Good work, that man!
How much do you want for the Wii fit?*
*It's obviously for a less svelte friend....
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Post by floplexter on Oct 28, 2008 8:47:23 GMT
moo
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Post by Narcizo on Oct 28, 2008 9:04:27 GMT
Christ. It takes fucking ages to fill in these on-line CVs for all the job agency companies. Doesn't help that I've pretty much lost most of my paperwork for my courses. On the plus side, I've realised that getting the boot in February is a bonus as it means I can write 2000-2009 on my CVs which covers me from nasty "what the fuck are you doing at the moment" questions for the rest of that year and, if necessary, into 2010.
Just how much I loathe having to fill in CVs and write application letters is starting to come back to me though. Fucking hell it's painful.
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Post by Moo on Oct 28, 2008 9:14:20 GMT
I understand completely, Narkle, but once the online CVs are all done, you can sit back with a cup of coffee and wait for the e-mails. About 150 a day until three years after you've started another job.
And then there's the phone calls - how I loved those.
In all honesty, I think that recruitment is so much better now with tinternet, even if it's a ball-ache checking the sites every couple of days.
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Post by coffers on Oct 28, 2008 9:17:32 GMT
I think it's about time I brushed up my CV just in case the new bank owners decide to do there own thing with internet banking, that said, it will take a long time for them to do it in house and, thay haven't got anything yet and to be honest even if they go with a compititor, of which there are very few, it will take a long tome and a lot of money to assimilate it into their back office.
I can't say I'm sitting pretty but we should get another 12 months out of this contract at least. That means 12 months of knocking myself into shape and ensuring I have something on my CV that someone out in the wide world wants.
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Post by coffers on Oct 28, 2008 9:18:30 GMT
PS. I feel your pain Nark, CV writing is a horrible job as is job hunting. I've got my fingers crossed that something comes up sooner rather than later.
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Post by Narcizo on Oct 28, 2008 9:25:48 GMT
There's fuck all work to do at the moment either, which I would have been delirious about a week ago. Everyone's too busy office-politiking to actually want anything to be done. The company must be losing so much money due to all this. It must be more costly than allowing everyone free access to 't'internet.
Although, clearly, not as much as they lost keeping me on the books for 6 years or so. Although they have only themselves to blame as they laid me off then took me back last time round. I get the feeling that that isn't going to happen this time round though.
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Post by coffers on Oct 28, 2008 9:34:54 GMT
Perhaps you should make a plan to save money by releasing all the lazy bostords that are office politiking, showing that by sacking them and saving you the will save more money. You obviously put yourself forward to do the politikers jobs that aren't getting done, for a slight pay rise and directorship position.
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Post by elth on Oct 28, 2008 11:50:19 GMT
I got an award the other day from my employer. Unlike s1ut, it wasn't a fancy new console - it was a crappy watch.
I want to work for s1ut's company.
And I concur with Nark's "£200 a week for doing nothing? Where's the bar!" conclusion.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 29, 2008 13:01:35 GMT
So my "three hour interview" yesterday turned into a five hour interview with five different people back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back, including three Directors.
By the time they pushed me out the door I felt like I'd spent the day in Guantanamo. Although if they put me in an orange jump suit I'd look like a giant fookin Space Hopper.
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Post by Boony on Oct 29, 2008 13:03:00 GMT
How did it go? Any ideas? Or were you too drained to get any inkling at all?
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Post by Narcizo on Oct 29, 2008 13:05:05 GMT
This is shite. Now, instead of feeling sneakily smug about spending the day trawling the Internet I have to feel guilty and panicky that I'm not filling in my on-line CVs and looking for jobs and stuff. Doesn't help that it should all really be done in Swedish, making it approximately 4 times as difficult. Bag of bollocks.
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Post by coffers on Oct 29, 2008 13:08:00 GMT
This is shite. Now, instead of feeling sneakily smug about spending the day trawling the Internet I have to feel guilty and panicky that I'm not filling in my on-line CVs and looking for jobs and stuff. Doesn't help that it should all really be done in Swedish, making it approximately 4 times as difficult. Bag of bollocks. You could try applying for Mr Woss or Mr Russel's jobs, I believe they will soon be vacant. You shouldn't need too polished a CV, just tell them that you are a twat and you'll walk it.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 29, 2008 13:11:32 GMT
How did it go? Any ideas? Or were you too drained to get any inkling at all? One of the two non-directors told my manager after the event that she couldn't tell which way things were going to go but I'd "impressed a lot of people." Possibly when I jumped on the desk in just my Spiderman underpants and did the Macarana. I don't think I'll get it because there have been a shit-ton of applicants and most of them are more experienced than I am. I'd probably be better off as XO to the person who lands the job for a year or so and then grab the next vacancy, but I figure that if I get the job I can bullshit well enough, long enough until I actually figure out what the fook I'm doing.
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Post by Narcizo on Oct 29, 2008 13:12:31 GMT
You could try applying for Mr Woss or Mr Russel's jobs, I believe they will soon be vacant. You shouldn't need too polished a CV, just tell them that you are a twat and you'll walk it. Cheers for that vote of confidence Coffs.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 29, 2008 13:14:04 GMT
You could try applying for Mr Woss or Mr Russel's jobs, I believe they will soon be vacant. You shouldn't need too polished a CV, just tell them that you are a twat and you'll walk it. Cheers for that vote of confidence Coffs. You can put me down as a reference.
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Post by Moo on Oct 29, 2008 13:18:23 GMT
Narkle - I think they're both being very mean to you. I think you're great.
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