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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 29, 2006 12:36:04 GMT
I know Pops is technologically challenged, but I don't think even he can crash a tree.
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jun 29, 2006 12:40:50 GMT
A crashable tree.
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 13:13:24 GMT
Awwww bless! *sings* Pops and Stuey, sitting in a tree....CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumb:
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 13:18:04 GMT
The truth is so funny. I've crashed trees before now. Twice in fact. Drink-climbing incidents.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 13:18:48 GMT
Oh, and a humungous :thumb: and bigups for the avatar, stu.
I shower you in joy liquid.
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 13:34:37 GMT
Joy liquid and tree sitting is how rumours get started. I was only implying you were fat canutes, you've brought a whole new dimension to things Pops.
And if Stu's fourth dimension is as fat as his other three..... we're doomed.
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Post by coffers on Jun 29, 2006 13:35:23 GMT
Meej
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 13:35:56 GMT
I feel a sense of fulfilment today. One not felt in a while. I've smiled at too many posts, I think...
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 13:36:28 GMT
Meej Trust coffers to go for the techy joke. Oh, and great avatar, Pops...
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 29, 2006 13:41:28 GMT
I feel a sense of fulfilment today. One not felt in a while. I've smiled at too many posts, I think... We have several new threads, all of which are going to Cuba.
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 13:46:50 GMT
The international airlines committee are slightly worried. All the little dots on their screens are heading to Cuba. They're wondering who organised the party, and why they weren't invited.
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Post by coffers on Jun 29, 2006 14:00:29 GMT
I feel a sense of fulfilment today. One not felt in a while. I've smiled at too many posts, I think... We have several new threads, all of which are going to Cuba.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 14:05:11 GMT
Tcha, coffs- you forgot to post something again.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 14:05:42 GMT
Meej Trust coffers to go for the techy joke.
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Post by Boony on Jun 29, 2006 14:08:43 GMT
Tcha, coffs- you forgot to post something again. He's losing it, I tell you. Soon, he won't remember anything, won't be able to do anythign. He'll just be sitting there, clicking his mouse (apparently randomly), and still beat us all on the challenge.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 29, 2006 14:12:58 GMT
We can rebuild him, we have the technology to build the world's first bionic divot...
Na na na na.
Na na na, na na na na na.
eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh (bionic noise- difficult to spell)
Imagine having a bionic mouse finger. You'd crush mouse buttons just playing JK.
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Post by coffers on Jun 29, 2006 14:20:19 GMT
I thought I'd hit the back button, bostord gazebo, I just had to juggle 3 phone calls at once deal with instant messaging from the boss and two bloody clients walked through the door trying to find out hy the system was down, it's going tits up here, and not in a nice way. Why me? I was going to say a cracking day all round, regards post content. It's shoite otherwise.
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Post by Moo on Jun 29, 2006 14:21:42 GMT
A bionic divot? Scary indeed.
Although I'm sure Meej would have the better of it, frazzled motherboards a-plenty after a conversation with DLT.
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jun 29, 2006 16:00:09 GMT
Meanwhile...I've played, and I can prove it: Also, I've signed loads and loads of players. Lots of. I got my injury, by the way. Two of them, one a Chinese reseve goalie (we had one of those, got word of it just now) who suffered a wrist injury by lifting weights, probably a meat loaf. And then I got a series of flashing windows to indicate another of my goalies (non Chinese, this one) had a contagious disease that I should face by sending him home. It was a cold. In a freak turn of events, the star of our rivals in our last friendly suffered a thigh injury that will keep him out of the start of the league, about two months. Cool.
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Post by coffers on Jun 29, 2006 16:10:50 GMT
If your opponents were as bad as the ones I'm seeing in my Barrow story, the thigh injury player was probably that bad that your opponents thought he was playing for you anyway.
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jun 29, 2006 19:13:46 GMT
I forgot to add my trained bear report. You will recall that he said we needed a goalie and a striker; welll, Dog and Ruddy Cheeks are goalies, while Jailbird and Acid Dance are strikers.
His newest report? We need reinforcements at all lines and there's no way we avoid relegation with this sorr bunch.
See? Told you it was a clever bear. It probably eats goatees and all.
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Post by Sonic on Jun 30, 2006 0:37:37 GMT
That's probably not a bad thing, a bear eating your gooties, as when you want to get rid of some player or two, he's there for you.
Oh, and stop making me laugh, I'm hurting now and in need of a soothing drink to calm down the aftershocks.
IGFLITOS's all round :humb:
Oh, and nice work on the actual playing Meej :thumb:
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jun 30, 2006 7:45:19 GMT
After the trip to the annual "shoo policeman away from the pier" festival, we do a little phallic dance (the bear really shines at those) to propitiate ye god and little fishes for the upcoming season. Exactly what kind of gods could find favour in an overenthusiastic bear it's best not to enquire, and I myself would feel safer with big, fat fish that could be dropped onto rival cities as recommended by Sir Arthur "Fisher" Harris. Local representatives from the federal government, at the festival.An. Y. Way. On we march. Or we match. We approach the final friendly against an actual existing team much in the way you'd approach a burger made of identifiable meat: thrilled, but somehow afraid of not quite measuring up to the task. Which we do and we don't: we get soundly thrashed on the pitch, yet we win 4-1. Blimey. What did it 'appen there? The answer is simple: Does the ref ring a bell?They get three goals waved off, and we move on with a huge morale boost. I've been playing the good bear - bad bear game with the players, me being bad bear, and it seems it has been working. I've decided on a 4-3-1-2, a.k.a. "let's start with the basics", and despite the constant rotation of players during preseason a few trends have popped up: we ship in goals like they are going out of fashion (or as if it was the group stage in the WC), but I'm not too worried as I've not played my starting goalie consistently nor my starting defense all together; we struggle to stay above the 50% mark in tackles, but again I am not too worried as the ones who win said tackles are my defenders while the half doing the losing of tackles are my attackers - that explains why the opposing status bar would make 800's thighs tingle but it's not nearly as worrying as it'd be the other way around; I can't win headers for love or money, and believe me I've tried all sorts of bear love and beer money - I'm talking under 10%; I take lots of shots but few of them ever go anywhere near the goal. I've already submitted a suggestion to make the goal bigger and remove the keeper, I'm looking forward to the response. Anyway, my starting lineup is as follow: Young scallywag Dog will be my starting goalie, with Ruddy Cheeks as the old geezer in reserve and Oregon’s Lover as the obscure equine for cup matches et cetera. Don Butler, Sgt Yes Mlady, Cartoonist and one loanee will play defense, backed up by Sweet Detective. OK Corral, Russian Cosmonaut and Better Be Worth are the midfielders, and my bestest loanee as AMC; Not a Striker and another loanee will sub for them. Jailbird and Forestal Whip will play up front, with Acid Dance off the bench. We will be playing somebody called Radetzki or other. Repeatedly. I mean, we have like half a dozen straight games vs Radtetzkis, some of them with different letters after the name – the whole Radetzki brothers, I guess. If I beat the younger one, the bigger ones will come round and wallop me in the ear or something. The first match reminds me eerily of the Partizan game – we are played out of the park (why not inside where’s much nicer?) but somehow the difference in performance does not make it to the scoreboard. Halftime arrives with us 0-1 down but we could have been 0-3 down and no mistake. I bring in three subs, I tell them I sympathise not so much with their current situation but with the situation they will find themselves in when the match is over, and we come back for the tie. Not half bad for a game where we had like one shot on goal and they had a dozen. Next, we get a short reprieve from them Radetzki Bunch, and we play Big Bull (“like a bull, only big” the ads say). It’s a non-league jobby we play on the cup as some sort of charity thing. They are obviously a bunch of recovering glue addicts or something. I tweak the starting lineup a bit to avoid tiredness and off we go. Look! I got myself a ball!Yep, go we do, like a runny bottom. We outplay them mercilessly, but let things get spiky by dint of clueless finishing and zero goalkeeping. We go 1-0 and they come back scoring on their first shot. GLITFOS? Not really, as they also score on their second shot for a 2-2 draw until we manage to put them away 3-2. This is not looking good, it’s Ursa Major time. Perusing them stats, the issues are clear: we leak headings like a hydra on LSD. Main offender is Jailbird, who consistently manages impressive statlines such as 1/11 or 3/20 in headers. Plus, side midfielders OK Corral and Russian Cosmonaut tackle like little girls with a serious bone condition. All three are performing significantly below the general level of the team, and that takes some doing. So they’re benched, and replaced by Acid Dance, the last of our loanees and, in a surprise move, one player owned by the club previous to my arrival. Yes, I’m shocked as well. I’m not giving the loanees any nicknames as they won’t be staying for long enough anyway. In fact, I suspect them to be dissidents trying to sow the seeds of dissidency among the ranks, and we’ve got plenty of rank. I’m having the ass bear keep an eye on them. We play another Radetzki, and then another one. Or maybe the same. Perhaps even the first Radetzki, who can tell. Not me, that’s for sure. Anyway, first one’s the league and second one is the cup (I’m pretty sure there are no home and away in the cup – not yet at least; you’ll see why). Oh, OK, can’t keep the suspense: there are no legs in cup because we went to extra time, or ovaltine, or however you foreigners call it. Substitutions are nice. New players have the team playing so much better, and we trash the first Radetzki comfortably 2-0 in the league; the cup match is way harder, they are in command of the game although with not really many chances but we manage to claw back for a 1-1 draw after halftime subs kick in, and we go to ovaltine. Acid Dance goes bananas on that and scores twice for a 3-1 win. We move on to the next cup round, where we will play... Radetzki, apparently. Cups are for girls, I guess that’s why we are progressing. I also took the time for a few ass bear reports. First he claimed we needed defenders and midfielders, then goalies and strikers, and finally, fearing I was not getting the big picture, took me aside and recommended we ditch the lot and we move on as wandering gypsies. Gypsy supporters are cautiously optimistic at my tenure as matilda waltzer.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 30, 2006 8:10:39 GMT
"we leak headings like a hydra on LSD" The mighty Samson has nothing on this.
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meej
Spider Monkey
Posts: 907
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Post by meej on Jun 30, 2006 8:20:26 GMT
I forgot to mention that our beloved Chinese goalkeeper Gung Ho reinjured himself and became a Serbian. The specifics are unclear, but I'd like to learn the trick of injuring a few of our players into becoming Belgians. That'd be the mother of all umbrellas.
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