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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 9, 2006 15:01:45 GMT
Yes, it's a special thread for the stupid things that are about to happen, and the stupid things people are about to say, with a side bar of Pops moaning about the BBC showing 24 hour coverage of Jamie Carragher's sock drawer. I'm not sure anyone's going to be able to beat the opener though, very nicely pointed out by Moo : A mere 14 years after he should have been thinking about tactics, the turnip finally gets around to it. He couldn't think of a way to stop a fat Swede with the likes of Palace and Leeds in his future, but he does come up with gems like "I think Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can play together." That's good then, Graham. As they're both on the same team, you asshat. I figure we can also use this image as a "Summon Horn" card from now on, in place of the one of Micah Hyde being bummed by a Gnu.
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Post by hornet on Jun 9, 2006 15:12:28 GMT
Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.
Did you have Torsten Frings in your fatnasty team, Pops? One of my favourite names in world football.
There are about five thousand men in leifderhosen slapping their thighs on my TV at the moment. Or am I dreaming it?
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Post by floplexter on Jun 9, 2006 15:13:40 GMT
The "omens" are all good for England, so I'm reading.
I am composing a complaint to the RSPCA on the grounds of studying the entrails of small animals is wrong and not proper.
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Post by coffers on Jun 9, 2006 15:16:05 GMT
There are about five thousand men in leifderhosen slapping their thighs on my TV at the moment. Or am I dreaming it? You mean it's started already. Gott Und Himmel! Donner Und Blitzen! etc. etc.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 9, 2006 15:26:14 GMT
I've seen it all now- Garth Crooks in a tuxedo.
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Post by coffers on Jun 9, 2006 15:28:45 GMT
Your Joking, thank goodness for gazebo at times like this.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 9, 2006 15:40:28 GMT
Oh, and I wasn't going for silly names, Pres, just names that sounded a bit rude.
So no Frings. But there is a German and I can't remember his name.
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Post by Moo on Jun 9, 2006 15:41:32 GMT
Jurgen Cuntflapper?
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Post by floplexter on Jun 9, 2006 15:43:15 GMT
Mertesacker. And Bollocks, of course.
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Post by Moo on Jun 10, 2006 10:01:07 GMT
Who is your coach for the team, Pops? They guy who has just left Togo? It seems quite an apt name to me.
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 11, 2006 18:24:05 GMT
Well I have to say that the first two matches on Saturday drained not only my interest in the World Cup and football but also in life itself. I don't think I've endured such a miserable experience since flying home from New Zealand.
All through the first half of the Sweden game I was thinking "If only Sweden had a midfielder who could look up and pass the ball long to exploit the gaps in the T&T defence and spread the ball from side to side. Oh wait a minute! They do. He's sitting on the bench."
Good work Lagerbäck. You goon! Not only don't start him from the off but don't bring him on when your holding midfielder is injured and doesn't actually have a function anymore anyway because the opponents are down to 10 men. Wait until the last 10 minutes and then throw him on.
I knew things weren't going well when the ass man said that there was no need to change the style of play because Sweden were having the better of play and would put away one of the chances.
It's like they reverted 6 years back in time but without the luck that they had then in beating some of the crappier nations in the footballing world. Zlatan and Ljungberg were obviously engaged in some bizarre "who's the most out of form" competition. Unlucky for them that they were trumped by Anders Svensson who, let's be honest, shouldn't be allowed anywhere near any form of international troop any more.
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 11, 2006 18:24:40 GMT
And don't even get me started on the England shambles.
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Post by coffers on Jun 11, 2006 19:09:33 GMT
Shambles it was but a shambles that we won, somehow.
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Post by elth on Jun 11, 2006 21:07:50 GMT
Angloa - Portugal left me wanting to beat Scorlari to a bloody pulp.
Bringing on a defensive midfielder for a foward with HALF AN HOUR to play against a side they should have been belting.
Shame England didn't get him for a manager really, I'd have loved to see the people who want to see England play attacking football cry when Scolari brought on Phil Neville and Hargreaves for Cole and Rooney after an hour against Leichtenstein.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jun 11, 2006 22:03:02 GMT
I was happy. I had Portugal down for a 1-0 in Moo's competition thingy.
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Post by coffers on Jun 12, 2006 7:47:36 GMT
Angloa - Portugal left me wanting to beat Scorlari to a bloody pulp. Bringing on a defensive midfielder for a foward with HALF AN HOUR to play against a side they should have been belting. Shame England didn't get him for a manager really, I'd have loved to see the people who want to see England play attacking football cry when Scolari brought on Phil Neville and Hargreaves for Cole and Rooney after an hour against Leichtenstein. You mean to say he's a Sven clone?
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 12, 2006 8:40:53 GMT
Have the vast panel of experts come up with a reason why Ashley Cole was left on the field for the whole game? Seems a bit of a risk considering the liability he was on several occasions. Was it a gamble to get him match practice or something? And if so why take off lickle Mickey Owen.
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Post by coffers on Jun 12, 2006 8:42:37 GMT
No idea, I was wondering the same thing, I was also wondering how Neville managed to stay on the pitch his passing was woeful.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 12, 2006 9:05:29 GMT
Pure coincidence that the only game I haven't seen any footage of at all is the England one.
Not great, then? But I thought they were invincible and mighty.
Have to say, after 8 games, I haven't been particularly struck by anyone or anything, other than that same old sinking feeling that disappointment with a capital D lurks around the corner.
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 12, 2006 9:13:23 GMT
I presume Argentina-Ivory Coast was the best game so far (although it seemed curiously lacking in urgency until the very end), but I was already footballed out by that stage.
What the hell is the story with referees trooping all the way up to the goalkeeper to tell him not to waste time and trooping back, wasting about a minute in the process? It's already happened twice. At least book them if you're going to pfaff around like that.
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Post by floplexter on Jun 12, 2006 9:14:39 GMT
Disappointed not to see more carding for trying to card, if you see what I mean.
A few teams have flattered to deceive in patches then turned to pish.
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 12, 2006 9:18:34 GMT
FIFA ought to make it an obligatory death penalty for asking for a booking by pretending to show a card. Or at least a bookable offence.
IN Wilhelmsson's defence Avery John should already have been sent off in the first half for his two-footed "tackles" through the man. I'd make it a priority to get him sent off so he doesn't cause me a serious injury.
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Post by coffers on Jun 12, 2006 9:52:37 GMT
Anyhow, where are all these goals that the new fly-away ball is supposed to create? It might be a nightmare for keepers to defend against, but it also appears to be a bit of a nightmare for the attackers to actually keep the bugger down or even on target. Long range shots are ballooning everywhere, in the brief glimpses I've had of this so far forgettable tournament.
Bring back the old leather lace up casie's that they used to use in my early days. At least it'll raise a laugh when the lace imprint is left on the face of some poor sucker who tries to head it, or something. :humb: Mind, I suppose there'd be a few more broken metatarsles <sp?> about as well.
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Post by Narcizo on Jun 12, 2006 10:08:10 GMT
Incidentally Brolin only sunk to the level of Leeds and Palace because of a pretty vicious broken leg. He was superb before then. So there.
He's a fat fuckwit now of course. But what can you do.
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Post by Moo on Jun 12, 2006 10:39:52 GMT
The Argentina and Ivory Coast game was great, I really enjoyed it and the losers looked like a dangerous team, IMO, I wouldn't want to play them with their pace. And their left back (I forget his name) was handy. Argentina looked very good though, I wouldn't be surprised at all if they got to the semis.
Where they'll get beaten by England, natch.
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