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Post by Moo on Oct 10, 2008 9:05:04 GMT
Even David Carr circa 2006 would laugh at that o-line, I agree.
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Post by elth on Oct 10, 2008 9:19:43 GMT
Old Freeney is Old.
How much are you paying him to be a backup again? You could get someone good for that.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 13:10:17 GMT
Old Freeney is taking home a bit more than $10m this year. I could cut him to get $8m back, but I'm not against the cap, so there's no rush. No one's going to trade for the delight of paying a 34 year old Defensive End $10m either. Trawling the free agents, the best DE on the list is Kenyon Coleman who's a run stuffer with no pass rush skills.
So I'd be cutting him just for the sake of cutting him, really. He got 10.5 sacks for Oakland last season and while I won't expect that again this season, if he can pick up six or so in spot duty, then he'll be doing a good job for us.
Then next season he can leave without any impact on our cap and we can go another direction.
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Post by Sonic on Oct 10, 2008 13:34:17 GMT
It's a good read, though I have not much of an idea what your talking about most of the time. It does look like you've started well. It seems the only thing missing was a picture of the mascot. And more cheerleaders.
:thumb:
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Post by DC on Oct 10, 2008 13:42:42 GMT
...though I have not much of an idea what your talking about most of the time. There's some kind of pathetic irony to that
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 13:50:05 GMT
2012 Pre Season
It's raining and our grand experiment is not off to the best of starts. The good news is that only a third of the stadium is getting wet. The bad news is that that's because the stadium's only a third full.
26,800 people are somewhat lost inside the 63,100-capacity Coliseum and they're subdued because of the weather and also what's happening on the field. After a good start their hometown Raiders are losing 21-17 with just over a minute to play.
The game should be tied at 21-21, but while Ronald Curry is celebrating in the end zone in the first quarter the rest of us are looking at the flag on the field that he hasn't seen. Tedd Ginn Junior is called for illegal use of hands taking seven points off the board which are eventually replaced with three points from the foot of Sebastian Janikowski.
Leading 17-7 in the third quarter our reserves collapse in front of the Eagles reserves and a guy not good enough for the 1-15 Miami Dolphins. Former Phish back Lorenzo Booker scores two third quarter touchdowns on his way to 63 yards from just eight carries.
Thus far, the fourth quarter has been a series of fitful calamity between two groups of poorly drilled third stringers, playing with a wet ball, watched by an apathetic crowd, nailed to their seats by the rain. A crowd who've averaged a paltry $7 spent on beer for the game - not even one beer each.
Bloody California.
There's some languid cheering as our defensive stiffs stop their offensive stiffs on a third down, dropping receiver Bernard Berrian two yards short of the First Down marker.
The Eagles punt team trots out and some skinny white guy wearing mis-matched shoes shoots away a low kick, the wet ball skidding off the side of his one black shoe.
Standing back on his 20 yard line receiver Herb Hill cradles the ball, takes two steps to the right, toward the centre of the field, then cuts outside to the left and is gone.
Later in the film room, the coaches will show how those two steps right forced the Eagles' gunners into blocking, allowing him to loop around the outside for an 80 yard score. From his position at ground level Hill saw something that I couldn't from up in the clouds.
The week after we come back from 10-0 down to win 16-10 against the Saints, then follow that with a 38-13 crushing of the Redskins and a 16-3 win in Carolina.
We're 4-0. Perfect. It's only pre-season, but it's a start.
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Post by Sonic on Oct 10, 2008 13:50:21 GMT
...though I have not much of an idea what your talking about most of the time. There's some kind of pathetic irony to that I guess I've got to wait until Stu comes on for some funny comment about that then. Ho-hum.
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Post by Boony on Oct 10, 2008 14:03:55 GMT
Over $7 for a beer? Extortionate!
Nice work in the friendlies. They mean nothing, though, really. What's your regular season schedule like? Predictions for the season? Was Hill's punt return a one-off, or does he look like it could be a semi-regular occurence?
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Post by Moo on Oct 10, 2008 14:10:34 GMT
4-0 is a girl's score.
:moose:
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Post by coffers on Oct 10, 2008 14:21:46 GMT
I see Moo is on top form, pity he's not in your squad, you could use him as the waterboy..
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 15:02:28 GMT
Over $7 for a beer? Extortionate! Nice work in the friendlies. They mean nothing, though, really. What's your regular season schedule like? Predictions for the season? Was Hill's punt return a one-off, or does he look like it could be a semi-regular occurence? In the other games, Hill's returns looked like this : New Orleans : 3 returns, 25 yards, 8.3 avg. Washington : 2 returns, 13 yards, 6.5 avg. Carolina : 0 returns So I'm guessing that's a "no." Our schedule for the year is : SAN DIEGO (9-7) New Orleans (9-7) NEW YORK JETS (5-11) Cincinnati (9-7) BALTIMORE (10-6) Cleveland (7-9) KANSAS CITY (9-7) PITTSBURGH (11-5) San Diego (9-7) --BYE-- DENVER (6-10) ATLANTA (9-7) Jacksonville (8-8) CAROLINA (5-11) Kansas City (9-7) Tampa Bay (4-12) Denver (6-10) Finishing with three road games isn't ideal, but coming out of the bye week into two home games is pretty nice. Our finishing record will almost certainly come down to injuries and where they happen. I'm playing the game with the injury setting set to 200, (out of 200), so we will get injuries, it's just a question of where they come. If they hit at receiver we can probably ride them out. If they hit on the offensive line, at linebacker, or corner, then we're doomed. Handily, our injury list at the end of pre-season looks like this : PROBABLETE - Antonio Gates - Ankle sprain. WR - Tedd Ginn Jnr - Hyper-extended knee. G - Carlos Richardson - Bruised Sternum. QUESTIONABLEDE - Rob Jackson - Knee sprain. DOUBTFULWR - Herb Hill - Strained Foot Ligament. (2 weeks) OUTT - Donald Penn - Stress Fracture, Leg. (6 weeks)
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 16:56:53 GMT
2012 Regular Season
San Diego (0-0) at Oakland (0-0) San Diego are heavily favoured for the game thanks to their combination of Quarterback Philip Rivers and Wide Receivers Chris Chambers and former Lion Roy Williams, but it's our quarterback, Xavier Baer, who gets the most attention as he completes his first fourteen passes, two of which are touchdowns, sending us to a 14-0 lead.
The he tears his patella tendon.
Baer is helped to the sideline with 15 completions from 17 passes, including two touchdowns for a passer rating of 145.3. We have to wait for the scans, of course, but I anticipate it's the last time he'll be on the field this year.
With Baer gone our momentum fades and the Chargers come back to lead 17-14 thanks to two Rivers-to-Chambers hook ups, from seven and twelve yards.
Mack Doyle does his best to keep us in the game, but he wasn't sent to play in the European league this summer to hide how good he is. He's learning, but still nowhere near starter material. Still, the crowd of 30,400 are doing their best to get behind him as he takes the ball at our 25 with 5:50 to play in the third.
The Chargers are doing what defences do when faced with a dodgy QB - blitzing - and on the first play Doyle is running for his life, escaping for three yards. A penalty gives us a manageable 2nd and 2 and Nolan Sewell converts it with authority, smashing up the middle for 17 yards.
Two plays later Doyle hits Malcolm Patton for 13 yards on a 2nd & 14 and then Antonio Gates converts the 3rd & 1 against his old team, rumbling for 11 yards after a one yard catch.
Now we're at the Charger 31 and Offensive Co-ordinator Darrin Baniewicz begins to earn his coin, crossing the Chargers up with a pass to Nolan Sewell for five yards when they expected run and then sending slow, tubby Sewell around the end to crunch his way for 15 yards when they expected pass.
With the Chargers spinning Doyle zips a seven yarder to Leo Klaff in the end zone and it's 21-17 to us.
For roughly two minutes.
That's all the time it takes the Chargers to drive from their 20 to our 28 and from there quick back Ahmad Bradshaw wriggles free in the middle and outruns our backers right up the gut for a touchdown and a 24-21 lead.
Our response is limp and timid. Four plays that would have been three if not for a defensive encroachment penalty giving us a free five yards. On third down, Doyle fires the ball to Klaff again, but this time the receiver drops it and we punt.
With the fourth quarter running down we need to get the ball back to our offence and find a way back into the end zone, or at least into range for Seabass to kick us into overtime.
On third and four the Chargers come out with an impressive five Wide Receivers - no Tight Ends and no one in the backfield alongside Rivers. We only have five defensive backs active for the game, so that's hardly fair!
Rivers takes the shotgun snap, does the stupid pitty-pat one step drop he takes when in the gun and then arrows the ball to Roy Williams... it's caught... by cornerback Tyvon Branch!
It's San Diego's sole turnover of the day and Branch celebrates by sprinting it back 35 yards for a touchdown!
San Diego can go nowhere with the ball in what's left of the time and we may have lost our Quarterback, but we've won a game!
San Diego (0-1) 24-28 Oakland (1-0) Game MVP: Xavier Baer, QB, Oakland Raiders
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Post by coffers on Oct 10, 2008 17:00:42 GMT
Fan-bloody-tastic! :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 17:24:14 GMT
Fan-bloody-tastic! Aye! Except for this bit : Oakland's Xavier Baer was hurt on the play. This appears to be a very serious knee injury.It all went rather well.
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Post by Boony on Oct 10, 2008 17:28:09 GMT
Get on the phone to Losman, quick! Great result, shocking luck on the injury. *laughs quietly on the inside*
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 17:28:54 GMT
Get on the phone to Losman, quick! Great result, shocking luck on the injury. *laughs quietly on the inside* Fuck off, thanks and fuck off, respectively.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 10, 2008 20:45:43 GMT
2012 Regular Season
It's a little disingenuous to pitch this is a "Battle of the undefeateds™!" but it may be the only chance I get this year.
I'd spent the week beforehand rooting through the free agent lists in search of a Quarterback. But then I got distracted by something shiny, in the shape of Offensive Tackle Tyrone Harrison, who'd been released by the Broncos. I signed him and kicked the one-legged Donald Penn off the pirate ship.
Then I did finally move on to Quarterbacks. JP Losman was there, of course. His agent had been on the phone pointing out that Losman "knew the Raiders system" to which I replied "Yeah, but he's still a cunt" and hung up.
My own list was narrowed to three :
Jason Campbell - Experienced ex-Washington passer with fading physical skills because he got sacked entirely too often.
Patrick Ramsey - Experienced ex-Washington passer with fading physical skills because he got sacked entirely too often.
Brooks Bollinger - Dear lord, I can't go on.
Then I noticed Jared Blackledge sitting around. Unlike the other three, Blackledge wasn't listed as "rusty" because he'd played the entire pre-season with Philadelphia, even seeing time against us. While he wasn't as good as Baer, he was better than Mack and he was much more versatile, feeling at home with 16 different formations to Baer's 11.
Also, he was the son of former Kansas City Chief Quarterback Todd Blackledge. Given a choice between Ken O'Brien, Tony Eason, John Elway and Dan Marino in 1983, the Chiefs had instead spent their first round pick on Todd Blackledge and that worked out ok for them, didn't it?
Oakland (1-0) at New Orleans (1-0)
Inside the Louisian Superdome, the bright yellow LEDs on the scoreboard don't really suggest anything out of the ordinary. They show the home team are winning 21-18 with "05:50" to play in "Q4" and that they have the ball. However, from my position as guest of the Saints ownership in the owner's stadium skybox, what's happening on the field appears to be something approaching a miracle.
My brand new Quarterback has less than a week with his team and at times that shows, but at other times he's been simply brilliant. It took Jared Blackledge just six passes to lead our opening drive 66 yards to a six yard scoring pass to Herb Hill and I had just finished watching him fling the ball around, 22 yards to Malcolm Patton and 33 to Ronald Curry, before he hit Curry again for a touchdown. Nolan Sewell punched in the two extra points and now we were trailing by three.
With all credit to Blackledge, we were within striking distance still because of our defence. Linebacker Kirk Morrison had been a beast so far and cornerback Tyvon Branch had stolen his second interception in two games. There had been luck too - the Saints had botched a field goal when their holder bobbled the snap and set up a field goal of ours when they were called for a pass interference call on a failed third down.
Now I was watching more defensive brilliance. We'd forced the Saints into a 3rd & 9 and then blown it when Nnamdi Asomugha was called for Illegal Contact to gift New Orleans a first down, but rather than deflate at this misfortune our defence had hung in, belting Marques Colston out of bounds for six yards and then trapping Fullback Matthew Crocker about an inch short of the marker on second down.
On third down the Saints went back to the ground and this time the 5'10" 216lb bowling ball Darnell Riley had taken the ball and a hit from Kirk Morrison almost simultaneously.
This would be a good time for the miracles to continue and after a stuttering start, Blackledge completes a 15 yard pass to Sewell on 4th & 3, then hits Antonio Gates for 8. On the next play his inexperience shows as I'm banging on the window shouting "throw it away!" as he's crunched by Sedrick Ellis for a sack. With no timeouts left Blackledge pops to his feet, gets everyone lined up and spikes the ball.
36 yards from the paint... 25 years of watching football means I can add 17 to anything without thinking - it's a 53 yard field goal. No one has ever questioned Janikowski's leg, (just his brain, sometimes), but does he still have 53 yards at pushing 36 years old?
Yes. Yes he does.
The ball is straight, which is the hard bit, and would have been good even if he'd been kicking it from somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico.
The Saints can't do anything with the sliver of clock left and we're into overtime.
And we win the toss.
Come on Blackledge, you beauty!
On first down Nolan Sewell probes the line and manages a single yard. On second, Blackledge fakes the handoff to Sewell and then hits Antonio Gates in stride. The old Tight End remembers what to do next and he sprints upfield for a gain of 21.
Guard Stephen Peterman gets called for a false start and then on 1st & 15, Tedd Ginn drops a pass that hits him in the hands. We undo some damage on second down with a six yard throw to Malcolm Patton, but then Peterman cocks up again, this time completely failing to block Elvis Dumervil who crunches Blackledge to the floor.
We punt and although our defence holds them again, (and then again), we're really only just buying time as our next two drives nett a total of one yard between them. Eventually our defence which has run itself into the floor just doesn't have anything left and Taylor Mehlhaff finally puts us out of our misery with a three pointer to end the game.
We don't win, but strangely I feel better about this performance than last week's victory.
Oakland (1-1) 21-24 [OT] New Orleans (2-0) Game MVP: Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans Saints
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Post by Boony on Oct 11, 2008 3:27:09 GMT
...strangely I feel better about this performance than last week's victory. Only because your starting QB didn't get nailed into next season. Your offence had three chances to score in OT, and did fook all. Oh dear. I'll give you 4-12 this season. And that might be generous.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 11, 2008 4:15:11 GMT
New York Jets (1-1) at Oakland (1-1)
I’m watching my team drown. It’s not the fact that we’re playing our second game in the rain, (California is famous for being so rainy, eh?), it’s the flailing followed by a slow death that’s happening on the field.
We were doing fine; swimmingly to continue the drowning idea. Karlos Dansby grabbed a deep Billy Volek pass and somehow outran everyone 67 yards back to the end zone to put us ahead and then Jared Blackledge was doing his best to put a topper on that, driving us down to the four yard line when he got crunched into the turf and didn’t get up.
Mack Doyle manages to throw a scoring strike to Antonio Gates, but that’s roughly the last useful thing he does and now we’re slowly drowning, about to go under for the second time.
The Jets have shown no sympathy, running out to a 23-14 lead and while Nolan Sewell’s 60 yard touchdown run puts the cat among the pigeons at 23-21, it’s telling that our only points after the drive led by Blackledge come on a breakaway run when the opposition’s defence switches off for a play. It’s not enough.
New York Jets (2-1) 23-21 Oakland (1-2) Game MVP : Nolan Sewell, HB, Oakland Raiders.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After the game the Docs tell me that Blackledge has separated his left, non-throwing shoulder. He’ll be gone for three weeks at least, meaning the worst of two worlds. We can’t IR him for a three week injury, but we can’t go into a game with only two Quarterbacks, so I’ll need to sign another one. However, to do that I’ll have to get rid of someone else and there’s no one I really want to cut.
I look down the roster and my eye settles on third-string Center Corwin Nelms. I put the word out that he’s available and Carolina GM Marty Hurney is on the blower before the evening’s out. I try to push for a third rounder, but he knows I’m trying to clear room and I need him to take Nelms for something, or else I’ll be cutting someone else for nothing, so we settle for Carolina’s fourth rounder next year.
Off then to the QB supermarket again and this time I return with John David Booty. Booty was the starter at USC after Matt Leinart and ended up being a fifth round pick of the Vikings in 2008. He was cut in 2011 and watched that season at home, before being picked up by the Patriots for 2012 training camp and was then released by them just last week.
I hope some of the Patriots magic rubs off.
My week is really finished off nicely when I’m told that starting defensive end Lee Smith has finally broken down with arthritis to a degree where he just can’t play any more. So in place of a guy with arthritis, we promote 98 year old Dwight Freeney back to the starting lineup.
Freeney’s entire skeleton was replaced with titanium in 2010, so he’s ok.
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Post by elth on Oct 11, 2008 6:41:58 GMT
Freeney tiem!
I'm reminded of that Family Guy line - "looks like Little Johnny should have wished for some pass protection!" with your QBs though.
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Post by Sonic on Oct 11, 2008 16:27:05 GMT
It does seem that way, I have to agree.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 11, 2008 18:24:59 GMT
Oakland (1-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (2-1) Carson Palmer versus John David Booty is not really a fair fight, especially when Booty has been on his team for roughly six days. Still, in a repeat of just about every game we’ve played so far this year, we start off really well, driving down the field behind the running of Nolan Sewell who’s turning into a beast in the power run. If we need three yards we give the ball to Nolan and he gets us three yards. If we need five yards we give the ball to Nolan and he gets us three yards. That pounding style is just about enough to get us down the field and somewhat unbelievably, Booty throws a strike to Tedd Ginn on 3rd & 11 and we’re up 7-0. It’s 14-0 when Booty throws another touchdown, to Malcolm Patton, but that was all she wrote for our offence, as the Bengals adjusted to what we were doing and shut it down. We have our defence to thank for the fact that we’re still in the game in the fourth quarter and when they get us the ball at the Cincy 36, even we will struggle to come away with nothing. Janakowski boots through and we retake the lead, 17-14. The Bengals had tied the game at 14-14 on Terrell Clarke’s seven yard run and a five yard pass from Palmer to Andre Caldwell. We don’t hold our lead long as Carson works the play-action on the next drive, somehow escapes the grip of Boss Bailey who looks a dead cert to get a sack and then hurls downfield. Speedster Chris Henry, (in a rare week where he’s not suspended), grabs the pass and is gone, 65 yards. Oakland (1-3) 17-21 Cincinnati (3-1) Game MVP : Carson Palmer, QB, Cincinnati Bengals
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Oct 12, 2008 3:29:53 GMT
Below me in the stands there is actually cheering. Quarterback Jared Blackledge takes the snap with the other ten offensive players cradled around him, flops to a knee and, miracles never cease, we've won a game.
I turn and shake hands with the various supposedly important people around the owner's box and breathe a sigh of relief that can be heard over the crowd. It can be heard partly because we've halted a seven-game losing streak and partly because the crowd is only 23,100 strong. It's our lowest attendance of the season by more than 6,000 - The people of Oakland are clearly not interested in watching losers.
After losing to Cincinnati when last you joined us, we'd gone on to beat Baltimore 35-28 in a game featuring no defence whatsoever, but after that had come a seven game skid. Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Kansas City beat us by seven, six and twelve points respectively, but then we ere ruthlessly dispatched 42-14 by the Chargers who we'd beaten in week one.
After our bye week, when we're supposed to be better, we were spanked 23-7 by Denver, hammered 37-14 by the Atlanta Falcons and then provided almost no opposition to the Jaguars in a 29-7 defeat.
So we were desperate for a win in our last home game of the season and got it thanks to four field goals from Sea Bass and a touchdown run from Nolan Sewell. Carolina's Ty Kelly had thrown a late touchdown pass to Jose Bell to close the gap to eight at 19-11, but then they just couldn't get the ball back.
After rushing just five times for 38 yards the previous week against Jacksonville, Sewell notched his second 100 yard game of the season here with 126 yards on 21 carries and actually has a shot to reach the thousand yard mark, as he has 847 with three games to play.
Sadly, Sewell is refusing to negotiate a new contract and seems keen to get out of town.
Now we have three games on the road, where we haven't won once this season - we need to find that first road win of the season to hit the 4-12 prediction 800 made. The sooner the season is done and we can try to move on and improve with some off-season work, the better.
Week Opponent Result Attend Week 1 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS W, 28-24 32,600 Week 2 at New Orleans Saints L, 21-24 34,900 Week 3 NEW YORK JETS L, 21-23 33,200 Week 4 at Cincinnati Bengals L, 17-21 61,400 Week 5 BALTIMORE RAVENS W, 35-28 33,200 Week 6 at Cleveland Browns L, 20-27 63,300 Week 7 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS L, 20-32 30,800 Week 8 PITTSBURGH STEELERS L, 24-30 38,300 Week 9 at San Diego Chargers L, 14-42 33,400 Week 10 OPEN Week 11 DENVER BRONCOS L, 7-23 29,400 Week 12 ATLANTA FALCONS L, 14-37 30,800 Week 13 at Jacksonville Jaguars L, 7-29 34,000 Week 14 CAROLINA PANTHERS W, 19-11 23,100 Week 15 at Kansas City Chiefs Week 16 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers Week 17 at Denver Broncos
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Post by Sonic on Oct 12, 2008 4:01:26 GMT
Ouch, and just...no, it's just ouch.
Bring on next season with a hurry.
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Post by Moo on Oct 12, 2008 10:16:58 GMT
Considering what has went on before you got there, I think four wins would be a hell of an achievement. Three punters....
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