You're what?

[Sonic]

So your the best of the rest in Poland. Sounds like fun, especially when you get such delightful fuckyouedness from them too. Good work on finishing the season despite being pissed off. 6th is definitely a big improvement than last time

:thumb:

[Narcizo]

Aye DC, the problem with wibble/wobble we were told was that it would fuck up our tactics for us if we tried to use it in FMs. I've no doubt the AI uses it to get its 424 to work rather well, among other things. The bizarre thing is that the wibble/wobble would actually be easier to use than the current slider implementation and would be less likely to screw over your tictacs than sliders (as sliders have to make internal sense (ie within the logic of FM, not football) or they really shaft your tactics).

In summing up, SpInG are wank. Of that there can be no doubting.

[Sonic]

I'd like them to explain why with wibble/wobble, I could try and get away with using a 1 defender tactic, while without it, I'd be hammered.

[Narcizo]

I'd like them to explain why the AI's tactics remain shrouded in secrecy, requiring you to watch the whole match to even begin to get an idea about what's going on, and even then not particularly managing.

[Narcizo]

And why your team is prone to hitting the target better and not making as many mistakes when it's run by the ass man (when using exactly the same tactics as you use) than when run by you.

[Sonic]

The other one that annoys me is in transfers in that the AI nows exactly how much to bid, but you have to end up spending twice as much in money and time to find out, sometimes losing out on the player.

[Narcizo]

Have you played FM07 Son? The AI often offers too little or too much nowadays.

[Sonic]

I thought we were also referring to when the wibble/wobble was in the game. As to bids, I don't get any, which is weird considering how well some of my players are doing. I don't seem to have much to do with bidding.

One thing that does puzzle me is the tendency of the AI not to update contracts as much. And its pennant for ignoring Minimum release fees.

[floplexter]

So all the games done, we face a wintry close season, penniless and playerful. The 200k vanishes into the overdraft as towards the end of the transfer window, I had a panic and signed up an entire reserve team. Mostly freebie teenagers, but it still hits the coffers (no offence).

Arachnaglobia is the fans POY.

Foreign Testimony and Mr Deeds return to their homes- I would have kept Mr Deeds, had I 140k to blow.

So it's loans and freebies for me. In the end, it's three loans and two freebies before season kickoff:
Throatwobbler, D/DM RL, 24, POL, loan from Gornik Z
Mandatory Buttplug, SC, 23, POL, loan from Polonia
Huge Fecking Poultry, FC, 24, POL, loan from Stomil.
Poofy Underpants, AMC, 30, POL, free.
SpecSlaver, MC, 30, POL, free.

Pre-season friendlies:
H v MK Katowice: 4-1: Dancey Muppet 2 ; Photosynthesis ; Huge Fecking Poultry

H v Gornik Z: 3-2: Trialist ; Arachnaglobia ; Mandatory Buttplug

H v Sharjah: 3-1: Fluffy Yellow Chick ; Reversed Bible Salesman ; Trialist

2 goals and a 10 in the second game is enough for me to offer the trialist a contract. He agrees, but is Russian, so I can't sign him.
To try and create space, I put up for sale my unhappy unsettled Scot, Shortbread Faggot.

A yoof is promted to the reserves: 17 yo, SW/DC, Worm Races

League 1.

H v Hutnik: 2-2: Caroff Ya Scally ; Huge Fecking Poultry



I have a funny feeling I may be packing my bags for foreign climes sometime during this season.

[coffers]

You do that, Poland sounds so borong.

[floplexter]

That's exactly what it is, coffs. Duller than Westlife.

[floplexter]

We sold Shortbread Faggot to Barnet very quickly for 30k, freeing up that foreigner slot for the trialist, who was duly signed up: Tame Nipple, 19, RUS, SC.

I start getting yoof promtions too- Prison Mike, 16, POL, DC. Shame they are all defenders.

I reject a 525k offer for Dancey Muppet from Zaglebie.

A v Slask: 1-1: Caroff Ya Scally

Another promtion: D/DMC, 16, POL, Stained Exterior.

H v Polonia: 2-3: Dancey Muppet ; Folded Nubbin
They got the requisite 89th min winner.

Sign Col. George Nimbus, 20, SW/D C, POL, free.

H v Wisla: 3-2: Caroff Ya Scally 2 ; Reversed Bible Salesman

A v Amica: 1-4: Lemon Curd Beard (p)
How terribly embarrassing, yet strangely familiar. Absolutely wanked on.

A v Hetman: 3-2: Arachnaglobia 2 ; Dancey Muppet

League Cup, Leg 1
A v KSZO: 1-1: Dancey Muppet

Dancey also gets to play for the Polish U21s this week.

League Cup, Leg 2
H v KSZO: 5-1: Folded Nubbin ; Tame Nipple 2 (his first start) ; og ; Reversed Bible Salesman

A good win, but still doesn't get my nads pumping.
Another yoof: Lex Luthor's Mum, DMRC, 17.

A v Stomil: 2-3: Reversed Bible Salesman ; Dancey Muppet.

----------------------------

I was close to resigning at this point. Am close to resigning, to be honest. There is an inherent unfairness (wah, wah) to the way things are panning out. My players are producing relatively good stats, they have good attributes, but in the likes of the Stomil game, it was a procession against us, with the ratio of chance conversions (and I checked back) at least 2-3 times higher for the opposition.

I should point out also that I reversed the habits of a lifetime this season and have been playing what is anathema to me= a 3-2-2-1-2. So essentially 3 DCs, two wingbacks, 2 MCs, 1 AMC and 2 up.

And it produces the same results time and time again, no matter the team instructions.

So. I wish to damn the Welshman. Unfortunately, and this is highly embarrassing to admit, I can't remember exactly how FuaDtW sets up!

2 DCs. 1 DMC. 2 wingers, 2 AMC, 3 up?

If I'm going to be wanked on, I want 5-4 wankings and not this piddle.

Avaunt!

[coffers]

Avaunt and be damned.

I sense your frustration.

KUTGW! :thumb:

and then resign.

[Sonic]

I think it was something like that Pops, and you also used to have 3 AMC's and 2 FC's too if I recall.

[Narcizo]

floplexter said:

Unfortunately, and this is highly embarrassing to admit, I can't remember exactly how FuaDtW sets up!

2 DCs. 1 DMC. 2 wingers, 2 AMC, 3 up?

If I'm going to be wanked on, I want 5-4 wankings and not this piddle.

Avaunt!

Aye, that' right. It's important to have offside and pressing on (to keep the ball in the opponents third). Unfortunately I seem to remember that it doesn't work as well in 0102, where you're better off with the more conservative Coffee (with or without wingbacks) set up.

I think you can be thankful that you didn't try FM07.

[Sonic]

I played 2 sweepers a DC and 2 fullbacks along wtih a DMC, 3 MC's a lone striker. I'd have hated to support this team, but it got me two straight promotions.

Could you still mark the GK with a forward in the version Pops's is playing?

[floplexter]

And coffee goes how again?

[Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey]

Coffee is indeed the most awesome power in the universe. Followed closely by the mugs Moo and I talked about making which had "COFFEE" written on them, for the most inside of inside jokes known to man.

I always played coffe 2-1-4-1-2 with the outside of the "4" in midfield, dropping to wingbacks if I needed to hold a lead.

[floplexter]

That's only a slight modification of what I'm playing now, really. Trouble is I have a shitload of DMs...

:sheesh:

[Moo]

Stu - those mugs were awesome, you should find those again and get some made up. I'll be some.

[Boony]

If you have lots of DMs you could play my Blair Witch formation:

2-1-5-1-1

With the middle MC played by a DMC, and the two outer MCs with forward arrows. And the wingers get forward arrows too, I think. Your striker scores a shedload.

[floplexter]

I'm allergic to playing one striker.
It will just never ever happen, I'm afraid.

[Narcizo]

Most DMCs can play MC anyway so any form of Coffee should see you right.

[Sonic]

YOu could retrain the DMC's that have decentish DC stats, and then you have defenders, and not need to worry about buying anything other than forwards?

[floplexter]

The torture continues...

I switch to what I assume is a coffee™-based effort- 2-1-4-1-2.
A v Polonia: 3-3: Dancey Muppet 2 ; Flange (p)

Due to some administrative cockup ( I forgot to advance the date), Mandatory Buttplug's loan finishes and he returns to Polonia.

No matter, I have a swathe of striking options. I sign Bewigged Prig on loan from Pogon, an AM/FRC as I need cover for width now.

In passing, I notice that Polkowice are now a non-league side....


Cup
A v Warta Poznan: 4-0: Jim Morrison Lives 2; Dancey Muppet ; Arachnaglobia

H v Slask: 2-3: Dancey Muppet ; Folded Nubbin
Considering Jim Morrison Lives was ordered off after 12 minutes, we didn't do too badly. And with only 9 men for the last ten minutes after injury too.

The injuries are biting hard now and Jim Morrison Lives gets the obligatory 9 game ban.

A v Hutnik: 2-1: Dancey Muppet 2
Dancey continues to show the form to go with his stats and the form that must inevitably lead to his min release (2.5m) being activated.

Our goal is to clinch that 4th place above the yellow line that guarantees no relegation.

We have 4 games left and sit 5th.
A number of "Unh" now appear. This surprises and slightly annoys, especially when the reason is that they believe the club is underachieving. Excuse me? Have you compared our resources recently to those who regularly beat us?

Another nail in the Polish "fun" coffin.

Dancey Muppetp receives press praise for his form after scoring for the Polish U21s. I build him up, he thanks me privately (no skin).

Long Slow Goodbye gets a slagging, I defend him, he thanks me, but still thinks the club is underachieving, the underhanded bastard.

H v Hetman: 3-0: Dancey Muppet 3

Quite a few players seem disappointed with the club's achievements now.

A v Amica: 5-6: Dancey Muppet 2 ; Bewigged Prig ; Flange ; Tame Nipple

Honestly. We swarm all over them, create chances, but instantly, and I mean instantly we score, they run up the pitch and score again. 6 goals in their 10 efforts, 5 in our 18.

A v Wisla: 5-5: Emil the Detective 2 ; Folded Nubbin ; Photosynthesis ; Arachnaglobia

Mental. This is like the bad old days.

H v Stomil: 2-1: Photosynthesis ; Long Slow Goodbye

Throatwobbler leaves us as his loan is cancelled by his sale to Flota.

We finish 4th. Safe from relegation in the league to come, a huge relief.

Lots and lots of players now unhappy with the league position and some "considering their options". I'd be happy if they considered to fuck off frankly.

Even the board are only "satisfied" now. Wankers.

Cup
H v Odra Wodzislaw: 3-2: Emil the Detective (p) ; Auntie Derek ; Specslaver


And to the league proper. I have to say that I considered applying for both the Karlsruhrer and Uerdingen jobs.

But I didn't.

But I might yet elsewhere.