You're what?

[floplexter]

I see Camberwick Spleen has just moved to Norwich on a freebie.

He might have to do the same in my game.

[Sonic]

Nice set of results, apart from the ones Horn pointed out.

As to the team selections for Europe, youth players are elegible up to the age of 20. So from 16 to 19.daybeforetheir20thbirthday, they can be included in the squad. Moo was right about there being another time when you can add or subtract your squad, and in that period, you get a three in three out with the option not to use all of them if you want. I never entered in my youth players if they were at that age, but if they were turning 20, then I would.

:thumb:

[floplexter]

Back to the rigours.

Little Handouts heads off to Dumbarton on loan to start this sesh.

UEFA Cup
A v Monaco: 2-1: Slavering Beastie 2
Go Slavs, go Slavs.

He may be Unh and wanting away, but he's still scoring. And on the back of this performance, he is now being watched by Rangers.

A v Cellik: 0-1
Gah.

I reject a 550k offer from Hearts for Cat Girl Tights- he is instantly Unh at not being allowed to move clubs.

H v Kilmarnock: 2-0: Cat Girl Tights; Rainy Rock
A v Raith: 4-1: Impure Nigel 2; Obsidian Plinth; Very Banana

I get November Manager of Month; Lank Piper is Player Of the Month; Staunchly Humdrum is young Player of Month.

UEFA Cup
H v Monaco: 6-1: Vegas Mutton; Healthy Fondlings 2; Slavering Beastie; Inca Snail 2
Described as a "shock" win by the media. Oh aye. I near wet myself.


£213850 is new record gate receipts.

We draw GBA of Belgium, which would have me laughing, were Belgium not a selected league.

I release Digital Bumhole on a free and the board are disappointed. Weirdos.

A v Livingston: 1-0: Donkey Bellow
H v Rangers: 1-0: Hope Springs Infernal
(in the 92nd minute- hee hee hee)

A v Hibs: 2-1: Hope Springs Infernal; Healthy Fondlings (p)

I reject a 550k offer from Dunfermline for Cat Girl Tights and offer him a new contract.

A v Dundee Utd: 7-2: Rainy Rock 4; Vegas Mutton 2; Inca Snail
Wow. CM really hates Dundee Utd.

Cat Girl Tights signs a new contract. I list Railroad Cistern.

H v Partick: 4-0: Impure Nigel; Quorn Substitute; Inca Snail; Massive Moustache
To my delight, I see a young 20yo Swede playing at Partick called The Daddy- bless! A regen of my old Polish striker.

I don't comment on the press, who are desperate to know if we can keep up our title challenge (we lie 2nd).

For December, the mercurial Inca Snail gets Player of the Month.
As usual, the press laud him, I agree and suddenly Rangers want him.

In a quick fix deal, Railroad Cistern moves to Hamilton for 375k.

A v Hearts: 2-0: Slavering Beastie; Vegas Mutton
Rangers lose at Pittodrie, so we are top. Wow.

Our 9 games won between November and January are a new club record.

H v Cellik: 2-1: Healthy Fondlings; Slavering Beastie

Rangers bid 2.4m for Inca Snail (he's worth 1.8). I reject- he's happy to stay.

cup
H v Kilmarnock: 3-3: Inca Snail; Rainy Rock; Slavering Beastie

I get Man of Month for Jan.

Cup Replay
A v Kilmarnock: 4-0: Rainy Rock; Hope Springs Infernal; Cat Girl Tights; Chain of Rivalry (1st ever!)

Better away than home- psha!

On the downside, Lank Piper is out for 3 weeks. Dang.
At least I get to pick 2 more UEFA squad, so quickly add 2 keepers...

H v Dundee: 1-1: Staunchly Humdrum (1st ever)

A v Aberdeen: 4-0: Inca Snail; E's A Ippo; Very Banana; Poofy Offspring

Treatment Rope turns up late for training.... I ignore it.

Livi bid 975k for Cat Girl Tights- I tell them to booger orf.

Cup
A v Hamilton: 1-1: E's A Ippo

UEFA Cup
A v GBA: 1-2: Hope Springs Infernal

Reject a 1.2M bid for Cat Girl Tights from St Mirren.

H v Raith: 3-1: Rainy Rock; Vegas Mutton 2

Our third game in 5 days, that was.

Cup Replay
H v Hamilton: 3-0: Thong For Europe; Flumpsville USA; E's A Ippo
A second string as another game is on-

UEFA Cup
H v GBA: 3-1: Healthy Fondlings (p); Boxer Rebellion; Quorn Substitute
Nice. Also the new record £232500 gate.

We draw Leverkusen in the QF.
Press build up Lank Piper- I can but add my praise.
Free release The Mighty Anorak which clears up four 'Unh' players.

UEFA Cup
A v Leverkusen: 1-2: Poofy Offspring
This looks familiar...

Cup
A v Cellik: 2-1: Very Banana; Obsidian Plinth

Then the return UEFA leg, and.... there are 3 of my first team on Int duty. Bloody U21! Including captain, first choice keeper and head barman, Lank Piper. FOOK OFF.

H v Leverkusen: 3-0: Rainy Rock; Slavering Beastie; Cat Girl Tights
Just as bloody well. Biggest game that Sounds Like a Bees Song has played yet, anyway.

Draw Milan in the SF.

A v RangerS: 4-2: Rainy Rock 2; Hope Springs Infernal 2
Bonus. This puts us a point clear with 2 games in hand... bring it on.

A v Kilmarnock: 2-2: Healthy Fondlings; Obsidian Plinth

Lank Piper is Young Player of the Month. Remember when I paid a million pounds for a 18 yo keeper?

Mwa ha ha ha ha.

[Sonic]

That was a quality update there Pops. I even avoided adding the very in front of the quality too. Mabye I should next time. I like how you're giving yourself a challenge in Europe, losing away and winning comfortably at home. Milan will be interesting to witness.

Whats this as well, beating Rangers AND Celtic? Did you run a temperature after those games.

How many games have you got now? Come-on the Mother for the Wall Plaque/cabinet thingy!

:thumb:

[coffers]

An excellent update and progress too on beating the Old Firm front, that can't be bad and is surely an indicator that you have stepped up. Good work on all the cup fronts, especially the Wafer.

I hate that bit in the EUropean competitions where your squad is reduced due to international call-ups, who wrote the bloody Euro schedules in FM these days? mThey're fookwits.

KUTGW! :thumb:

[floplexter]

To catch up with last night's enthralling instalment:


UEFA Cup
Annoyingly, my number one striker, Healthy Fondlings is off with Chile. I wish there was an appeal process.

A v Milan: 3-1: Vegas Mutton (10th); Rainy Rock; Chain of Rivalry

We may as well have worn masks, spoke Cockney and driven Minis to Milan. Pure robbery. Utter robbery. We were totally outplayed. Yet got a great result. Tcha.
The fact that Lank Piper got 9 and was MOM tells its own tale.

With 33 games gone, Raith are relegated. They have 13 points.

H v Hibs: 2-1: Thong For Europe 2
H v Livingston (2 days later): 2-0: Obsidian Plinth; Trick Baby

I put Donkey Bellow on the list- he's done nothing but complain about not being first-choice, but the young whippersnapper of a Plinth is doing a better job than he.

Cup Semi-final
N v Rangers: 1-2: Thong for Europe
Dang. The first, and perhaps not the last time that Michael Owen and Not That One, No are on the same pitch at the same time.

Poofy Offspring is injured for 2 months.

UEFA Cup, SF, 2 leg
H v Milan: 0-2.

We sneak through on away goals. Eek. Wanked on again, from a huge height- they had 14 shots to our 2. I would be mightily upset, were I them.

We get Nantes in the final.

I reject an 825k bid for Very Banana from Killie. Almost away at one time, and been there since I took over, but has now made himself just about number one choice for the ML slot.

A v Rangers: 0-3
A second string side is humped.
The board are unhappy with the performance and I wish to God I had a "Fuck off" button. We're punching way above our weight as it is.

A v Dundee: 2-1: Hope Springs Infernal; Rainy Rock
(Yes, BBJ got the goal. 'Hitting back at his manager' apparently).

A v Dundee Utd: 1-1: Vegas Mutton celebrates his return from a 3 week layoff through injury.

The dropped points mean that with 2 games left (Partick T at home and Cellik away) we are top from Rangers on goal difference.
They won't lose, so we can't lose.

The board randomly announce that we have become a plc- we have 27m in the bank and 18m in the transfer kitty.

This doesn't help when I am capped at 8k wages. Even Dundee can afford to pay the likes of BBJ 15k a week.

So it's a circle of doom- I have to operate on a wonky playing field with the likes of the Old Firm and their 30-40k a week budgets.

We won't win the SPL. And I think I'll head to the Iberian peninsula.

In the new FMS, can you tell the board to go and ferk themselves?

[coffers]

Hmm Rangers came back at you at the wrong time. Still it's a very very good effort and a Wafer final is good.

I'm not aware of a fook the board button, but you could try the ask for more wages then the Ultimatum button. WHich invariably gets you the sack, though you may get a 1st warning before the sack.

[coffers]

Oh and KUTGW! :thumb:

[floplexter]

Rangers are pretty much steamrollering everyone in their path. Victor, Miller, Owen, Robben- everything goes through those four. Ferguson went to Arsenal last year.

Celtic are 3rd, Dundee 4th and everyone else is a country mile behind.

[coffers]

BTW with that amount in the kitty, you might find your wage budget changing for next season.

[Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey]

I found the SPL the same way when I had five minutes at Hearts. It took ages to catch the Old Firm, then once I got by them once, it was a canter every season thereafter.

I can see the attractiveness of the Iberian Peninsular though.

Good luck holding off the blue tide.

[floplexter]

Yes, mostly the rioja.

And the tide of blue bikinis won't be held off.

[coffers]

Fnarrrr Fnarrr.

[Sonic]

Is Cuba in those blue bikinis?

Very well done on getting to that WAFER Final. All your team has to do now is hold it's nerve and you'll take the league.

KUTGW :thumb:

[hornet]

Blimey, Pops. That's a huge jump-up in performance this season. Although you seem to be running out of steam at exactly the wrong time and given your board's total lack of ambition this is likely to be your best chance to win anything with this team. Pessimism aside, two wins in two games is gettable, even if one of them's at Celtic.

£8,000 a year? Get to feck. I've got a bigger budget than that with a technically part-time team in Division 1. Find that "Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego" button and hammer it for all you're worth. If you can find the "Hey We're Off To Sunny Spain, Sing Viva Espana" button at the same time, all the better.

KUTKCW! :thumb:

[floplexter]

8k a week, horn.

But comparatively, still poop.

[hornet]

Oh, you know what I mean. I know what I mean, anyway. This is why I've got a Stonehenge that's in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

[Sonic]

The mystery of Stonehenge solved!

[Moo]

Gerrin there Pops! No messing about now, just win the games, ye poof!

KUTGW! :thumb:

[floplexter]

Rolling on home....



H v Partick T: 3-0: Rainy Rock; Hope Springs Infernal; Boxer Rebellion

So fari So goodi.

One game left.


H v Cellik: 1-0: Biscuit Steve's first and only goal of the season and fiddly di di do.

The fans chant my name as we win the league and a club spokesman says I'm Motherwell's best ever manager. Yay me.


1 Motherwell W28 D5 L5 F92 A46 Pts89 ; 2- Rangers 89pts F66 A21 ; 3- Cellik 77pts ; 4- Dundee 66pts ; 5- Dundee Utd 51pts.

A new club record position.

UEFA CUP FINAL
N v Nantes: 4-2: Chain of Rivalry; Quorn Substitute; Rainy Rock; Vegas Mutton

Fook me, we're good. They have no answer.

The fans once more sing my name, the board are ecstatic, they call it a "remarkable feat" and credit me. Yay me once more.

We get 1.5m for the win.

And of course, now that we are domestic champions and European cup winners...

Lank Piper requests a move to a bigger club to further his career.

On what planet is that realistic in any way?

I tell him to fuck off.

He is the only player to make the Team of the Year, which is patent bias.

Lots of stuff goes on: Hope Springs Infernal's agent says he's moving to Dundee- bollocks. Healthy Fondlings is upset because we are looking to replace him (I had an Aberdeen forward watched). Bollocks.

Dundee Utd win the cup, I am manager of the month, I release Derek's Socks and Inca Snail is the Fans POY.

We give 4.7m to our shareholders and the board expect a championship challenge.

I apply for two jobs and get nowhere (one in Serie B, one in La Liga 2).

Hmm.

--------

So I decide, naturally, to prepare for the season as any other. None of the "big money" players seem to cut the mustard as far as I can see, so I go for youth prospects. And maybe the odd big buy.

I start with a 1m bid and buy from Brescia, a 1.7m valued SC, Inert Relative, 25 yo Italian.

We then, because we can, go on a tour of Poland.

A v Polkowice: 2-0: Montrose Brewery; Inert Relative
A v Odra Opole: 2-1: Rainy Rock; Chain of Rivalry
A v Slask: 0-1

"Shock" retiral of Not the Messiah who was also known as Not Getting a Game So I Don't Really Give A Shit.

Speaking of big money, we buy Spider Maintenance, 28, SCO, DC for 1.8m from Kilmarnock. Not difficult to work out his name IRL- made his long-awaited debut and scored on it too last week for Rangers.

Friendlies
H v Brugge: 2-3: Rainy Rock; Cat Girl Tights
H v Hanover 96: 3-0: Healthy Fondlings 2 (1p); Willie! Willie! Way!
H v Igea Virtus Barcellona: 3-0: Hope Springs Infernal; Impure Nigel 2

I turn down 2 transfer requests from Lank Piper

And back into the domestic season, with lots of bids being rejected left, right and centre.

A v Dundee: 3-1: Inert Relative (deb); Slavering Beastie 2

H v Partick: 4-1: Thong for Europe; Inert Relative; Chain of Rivalry; Slavering Beastie (p)

A v Kilmarnock: 2-2: Poofy Offspring; Vegas Mutton

I reject a 1.7m bid from Cellik for Massive Moustache. He's played about 2 games in a season and a half, so I'm a bit suspicious.

We get 1.8m for getting into the CL group with Juventus, Besiktas and Lyon.

Yay.

[Moo]

Sterling work, fella, stering, I say. I would also be a tad suspicious of that Moustache incident, but just because of the team involved. Sneaky sneaksters that they are.

KUTGW! :thumb:

[floplexter]

I'd rather sell him to Viktoria Zizkov.

[Boony]

Aye, great stuff Poops. League wins, Europe wins, and it looks like you've got a good squad to carry it on.

According to my spreadsheet of league reputations in CM0102, Serie B and La Liga 2 both have the same reputation as the Scottish Premier. So you might expect to get a job there at some point. I remember one game I played where I won the LAC with Hamilton Academicals and then could only get a job in the German 2nd division (again, the same reputation) with FC Koln.

[Boony]

Check out the league reputations in my CM0102 resource page!

users.ox.ac.uk/~inet0039/cm0102/

Yep, two files there. One of them the league reputations in excel format, the other is a text file of all the playable leagues and teams in the game...

[floplexter]

Smart, cheers.

Future stars list is good.... Titus Bramble?