September 2005
Srem vs CSK
CSK 7-4 / Draw 11-5 / Srem 5-4 (Fav)
A desperately poor game here, made all the worse by the fact that we play 85 minutes against ten men, as A Sremer, (Sremee?), hauls down
Skirt when clear through on goal after just five minutes.
We do our best to find a goal, but our forwards all find chances hard to come by and we don't find a shot in the last 15 minutes.
Srem 0-0 CSK - Lonely Lizard, Ant, Circus Jelly
- The Rat[/size]
Napredak vs CSK
CSK 3-1 / Draw 2-1 / Napredak 4-5 (Fav)
I sympathised with my players after the 0-0 with Srem and that turns out to be the wrong thing to do, as now they're all being all mardy.
Note to self : next time team fails to score against 10 men, beat everyone with oars.In light of their general moanyness and miserable bastardyness, I phone up the local papers and say "Napredak? Promotion favourites? Do me a lemon!" This works with a couple of players, but the others are too busy moping and listening to Morrisey to notice.
So that'll be Napredak all over us then. We're holding on for dear life through the first half hour, then holding on a little tighter after that, as
The Rat wraps up an interesting week by adding a red card to last week's blue star. Fuckwit.
Left winger
Jupiter Coastline has to come off so we can send on
Smoker's Dog to plug the hole in our defencey-midfieldy part and then it's backs-t'-wall to half time.
Handily, after 20 minutes of the second half, a Napredak midfielder coughs the ball up to
Skirt, who tears away toward goal, only to be hacked down from behind. Cue the red card and a pat on the back for
Skirt who's drawn two opposition players into being sent off in the space of four days.
The Naps go to a slightly surreal formation, (which is rich coming from me, I realise), when they go 2-2-2-1-2. Two DCs, two DMs, two MCs, an AM and two FCs. The formation looks like DNA. As it turns out, it's DNA that codes for the protein that makes boredom.
Napredak 0-0 CSK - Jupiter Coastline
- The Rat
- Ant[/size]
Radnicki (N) vs CSK
CSK 3-1 / Draw 2-1 / Radnicki (N) 4-5 (Fav)
The N stands for Narked-off. As in I am...
I don't really want to talk about this game. We score in the 92 minute, through
Old Navy, grabbing his first for the club, then switch to defensive, lower creative license all around, up time wasting, lower tempo and move to long balls for defenders. Specifically, long balls, with no creative license whatsoever. No forward runs, no running with the ball and no trying through balls.
So with these instructions in mind, you probably aren't going to fanny around on the ball for five seconds, then pass it directly to an opposition forward, when trying to play a square ball to another defender, allowing a 94 minute equaliser. Are you.
Lonely Lizard is the culprit and he gets the deserved roasting after the game, plus a bit more, because my mood is not improved when it turns out that
Skirt has a groin tear and will be out for at least a month. A late Radnicki tackle castrating
Skirt and my attack at the same time.
Radnicki (N) 1-1 CSK - Old Navy, 90+
- Aleksic, 90+
- Lonely Lizard
- Ant[/size]
CSK vs Mladenovich
CSK 5-4 (Fav) / Draw 11-5 / Mladenovich 7-4
Finally, back home again. Three points from three away games could have been worse, but it's scant consolation as it could have been five points and
Skirt is going to be missing in action until possibly next year. but certainly at least next month.
He Fell Over gets the start in
Skirt's stead, as we switch to a 4-3-3 system, with only four arrows, as the three draws above make me wonder if the AI has finally found a way to turn the music off and deal with Come Dancing 2.
So, it's a good start, as
He Fell Over scores a pearler at the beginning of the game and then does his best
Skirt impression, by running into a defender in the area and earning a penalty. Which Rat misses. :moop:
We hold on and have the chance to make the game safe, but never do, so it's lucky that the visitors have less up front than we do and we're back to winning ways, thankfully.
CSK 1-0 Mladenovich - He Fell Over, 9
- Experimental Biscuits[/size]
Marks and Spencer Cup
First Round
CSK vs Zemun
CSK 4-1 / Draw 5-2 / Zemun 4-7 (Fav)
In the midst of trying to rebuild confidence and league form is probably not the best time to face the team that are currently fourth in the country's top division. Premier team Zemun are heavily favoured.
So it's nice when we frustrate them for 90 minutes and nicer still when I find out that my knackered players don't have to face extra time as it's straight to penalties. Where we lose, 3-2,
Ant and
Socks scoring, while The Rat, Lonely Lizard and Experimental Biscuits all missed. Still, that's one more scored than England and two more than Switzerland, so we must be good.
2,337 people see us put in a good effort.
CSK 0-0 Zemun - Circus Jelly[/size]
CSK vs Vlasina
CSK 13-8 (Fav) / Draw 2-1 / Vlasina 6-4 (Fav)
Time to put the pressure back on the big boys with a win, if we can and to do that, we'll need goals. So I fiddle with the 4-3-3, making it a 4-3-2-1, which will, hopefully, enable us tobuild the ball forward toward
He Fell Over, who doesn't get free anywhere near as much as the teflon-covered
Skirt.
In the first minute, we're informed that
He Fell Over is playing with a "real fire in his belly today", which sounds like something we'll need to call Health and Safety over.
He does look quite up for the game though, especially when
Old Navy nicks the ball off a Vlasina midfielder on 29 minutes, bends it through and he rounds the keeper for an empty net and one-nil.
He looks good again just into the second half, when Navy is away and sees his shot saved, only for the ball to roll to
He Fell Over's feet and it's 2-0.
Vlasina pull one back on the hour, with a near post header that gives me the jibblies and worries about another draw, but I needn't worry, because
Jupiter Coastline breaks down the left, puts a diagonal pass through the Vlasina defence and
He Fell Over is there to seal his hattrick.
Four minutes later, a Vlasina fullback decides he quite likes this play a pass to
He Fell Over and see him score business, so he does just that, getting caught on the ball, losing a weak pass and then watching as the forward makes it 4-1, CSK.
With 11 minutes to go and Over thoroughly knackered, we pitch Skirt off of his velvet chair and send it on to carry our new hero off.
There's more cheering at the end of the game, when an unlikely pair of results see Radnicki (N) and Spartak (S) both lose, meaning that we're top again!
CSK 4-1 Mladenovich - He Fell Over, 29, 48, 63, 67
- Culafic, 59
- He Fell Over[/size][/font]