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Post by coffers on Jul 24, 2006 10:10:40 GMT
I had that with the coaches too, so I just made the ones on the books full-time on short term contracts if they were willing to accept terms. EVen the none long term solution players are worth getting onto full time contracts if you can, just do it until the end of the season or something. Even their stats will probably improve.
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Post by Moo on Jul 24, 2006 10:44:01 GMT
A good bit of lurking there, Stu. Draws are the way forward it seems, or they should be anyway.
KUTGW!
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Post by Sonic on Jul 25, 2006 3:52:45 GMT
Draws, you've got even more than I have!
As to staff, once I found a better coach for one who wouldn't do Coffers suggestion, I sacked the bugger as his replacement was there. Fulltime contracts were the first thing I did. I recently ended up getting new scouts and physio's too, and I think there is only a player or two in the reserves, plus I that are part-time.
A few more wins instead of draws and you'll get that promotion :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Jul 29, 2006 9:36:50 GMT
The win to start the month proves to be an April Fool, as we're back to draws in the next game with a simply fucking dire game, as in Aston Villa -v- Birmingham with Emile Heskey and Juan Pablo Angel up front dire. So that'll be nil-nil then. But what's this, a distant rumble of something behind the hills of Mladenovic - they're at the bottom and at home, which usually means fifteen men in defence, with another seven strung across defensive midfield. So I decide I'm bored of draws and just crank the attacking lever to 11 and go mad. Cue three goals in in 13 minutes, including one that will be unlucky not to be goal of the month, as Legless Morning hammers home a shot from 45 yards. Yes, 45. The goal makes it 2-1, but, having scored a corker, we have to give away a stupid goal to rebalance our galactic karma and it's Lonely Lizard's turn to be plank of the week, as he traps a ball at the edge of our area, then inexplicably runs away from it. He doesn't pass back, he doesn't miscontrol. He kills the ball first time and then just... runs away. Cue two-two after 41 minutes and much, much swearing. Before the game I'd had one of those wonderful management hunches and had dropped Ant who'd been playing well enough at right midfield and brought in Laser Jesus. I thought Jesus had repaid me for the faith when he squared for He Fell Over to open the scoring on two minutes, but it turns out he was saving best for last, as he shows up at the far post to belt home a header for his first ever goal for the club and seal a 3-2 win. The win is good enough to push us back into third place. For a week. We're back to our awful best the following week at home to Sevojno as we're 0-2 down in 34 minutes. Legless Morning gives us hope with his tenth of the season, from midfield, right on the half time whistle, with a spanking 25 yard free kick. He's been playing well all season, but since he signed the full time deal he's been running our midfield. I peel the paint in the dressing room at half time, sending the boys back our with red ears and they puff and pant a bit in the second half, but our reward finally comes on 72 minutes, when Minty Dragon bends in an inswinging corner from the left and Jupiter Coastline gets across his marker at the near post. We can't find a winner and we're back in fourth, thanks to another draw. For the road game I've another of those manager-moments and switch back to a 4-4-2 counter, from the attacking 4-3-2-1 we have been playing, figuring PSK might be trying to get down the flanks of the formation we had been playing, as I see loooooong arrows left and right from them. For 45 minutes it's all the home side, but we do look dangerous on the break, so a bit of a gee up at half time and we'll see if we can sneak a goal. Or, y'know, three goals. Ant opens proceedings, from the penalty spot on 64 minutes after a PSK defender handles a long throw that was going in behind him and the midfielder makes it two just three minutes later with a far post header to cap a beautiful cross from Socks. With the clock showing 90 and having teased you with what I thought was going to be goal of the round, let me introduce you to the actual goal of the round, as Experimental Biscuits beats his marker, nutmegs the referee and then bends a beauty into the far top corner from 25 yards. That'll do, pig. That'll do. Somehow, Mladost contrive to lose at home to Srem, so we're not out of it yet. But it'll be the draws that kill us.
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Post by Moo on Jul 29, 2006 15:28:32 GMT
To be fair, that's an excellent season. There's still a good chance with 8 games to go. Good chance of 8 draws, I mean.
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Post by coffers on Jul 29, 2006 16:28:09 GMT
Still lin with a decent shout, just avoid the draws. I'v heard that somewhere before. Deja Vu? KUTGW!
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Post by Sonic on Jul 31, 2006 0:17:49 GMT
Nice goal, that first one :thumb:
Start feeding the rest of your team what Experimental Biscuits and Legless Morning are eating and you'll have an exciting season. That or you'll be giving the fans behind the goal souvenir.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 1, 2006 9:05:20 GMT
Next up are La Cukaricki, one of the only two teams to stick a defeat on us this season, but we're a totally different team now, oh yes. Well, ok no, we're not, but we're playing like a different team - we haven't drawn for a week! You can see how different we are, from the lineups from the two games. CSK 2-3 Cukaricki Fashion Pony Socks - The Rat - Nike Bonce - Lonely Lizard Jupiter Coastline - Old Navy - Experimental Biscuits - Circus Jelly - Ant Sieve For this game, we have; Fashion Pony Socks - The Rat - Nike Bonce - Lonely Lizard Jupiter Coastline - Old Navy - Minty Dragon - Ant Sieve - Laser Jesus Totally different. Listed the teams out like that reminds me though. Everyone loved Circus Jelly - he was far and away the best player on the team, which makes me wonder why I don't play him anymore. Oh yeah, I sold him. £325,00 to Metz back in January. I should have mentioned that. Anyway, back to la Cucaracha and our hunt for revenge! Which goes quite well. Laser Jesus runs onto a through ball from Old Navy and is left one-on-one with the keeper, slotting home easily for 1-0. The boys are told to keep it up at half time and they do just that, the first goal repeated almost exactly, only the names have changed, as Jupiter Coastline puts the ball through for He Fell Over, who's left one-on-one with the keeper, slotting home ea.. oh, you've heard this one? 2-0 to the finish, at any rate and we're back into third. For a week, when a draw knocks us back down into fourth. Oh, you've heard that one too? 0-0 with BASK, anyway and, fourth, the good news being that Spartak S and Mladost both manage to lose, so things tighten up a bit. In come Radnicki (P) and we need a win to keep the pressure on at the top, with a starting eleven that now has three people in it who claim to be struggling under the pressure of public expectation, the fucking ninnies. So I try to be a bit clever and phone up Radnicki (P) and tell them that the boss is doing a good job in a difficult situation. Which will make him feelt better, I'm sure, with the 2-0 win we stick on them in their own place. That Jesus fella is at it again with the opener and then old man Old Navy makes it two on the counter attack and everyone's happy. Apart from Radnicki (P) and who cares about them? Another unhappy person is forward He Fell Over who actually did and has hurt his ankle, ruling him out of our upcoming games. So, it's lucky it's not a terribly important pair of games, like, say, at home to league-leaders Spartak (S) and then away against second placed team Mladost (A). :moop: In come Spartak then, in their shiny blue cossies with a stupid formation that looks specifically designed to piss me off. One man through the middle, two wide AMs and three central midfielders with arrows and... hang on, you've stolen my formation you cheeky bostords! So, much like the Star Trek episode with two Kirks, we'll be fighting against ourselves, relying on moments of pathos delivered in a stacatto fashion to see us through. And by jove if that doesn't work, as we have the run of a game with quite a few chances, but no goals, (we're missing our recognised forward, after all), until old man Old Navy decides to do the job himself, lashing home a left-footed shot from 22 yards for what turns out to be the winning goal. So, four games left and it's fair to say it's a little tight at the top.
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Post by coffers on Aug 1, 2006 9:18:29 GMT
Tight as tight can be, apart from if it were tighter. Throw some KY-Gel into the mix and see if that doesn't open it up a bit. :humb:
KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Moo on Aug 1, 2006 9:25:06 GMT
Aye, it's all in your hands now, one of those will drop points, so if you rattle off four wins, it's yours.
No pressure, like.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 2, 2006 0:32:38 GMT
Oh, nice, Stu and I are at the same stage, with the same thing costing up to the same point too, draws. Still, as Moo said, win the last 4 and you should go up :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 5, 2006 15:39:44 GMT
Can I find the wins needed to get into the top two? Can I? Can I!?
No I can't.
We lose 2-1 away to second placed team Mladost, which pretty much seals our fate, but then the old curse returns and we draw our next two matches, 1-1 and 0-0.
Our final game of the season is a very poor 1-0 defeat away to Radnicki (K).
So, we finish fourth on 64 points, behind Mladost, (73), Spartak, (73), and Srem, (65).
Two new players join just before the last game; Cuban Cigars who looks handy in midfield in the final defeat and Space Acne, who goes straight in the reserves. I can't remember why I bought him, but at least he was free.
Going the other way is Toad who allowed three goals in our friendlies at the start of the year, then moaned about being dropped all season, before finally being shifted out for €3,000.
Goalkeeper Fashion Pony makes the team of the season, which shows that Toad needs a big steamy cup of shut the hell up.
Midfielder Old Navy joins Pony as the CSK representatives for the team of the year.
Everyone goes on holiday now and I have some serious searching to do, to track down someone, anyone, who can score consistently.
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Post by coffers on Aug 5, 2006 17:11:01 GMT
Unfortunate finish that Stu, it'll be taht much harder nexts season with all those Superleague teams coming down. Strengthening is definitely the order of the day.
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 6, 2006 9:40:00 GMT
So, we didn’t escape the first division and now have to face seven premiership sides, who all want to get back into the big time. Our obvious problem is that we don’t create enough goals from standard formations. If we want a goal we end up pushing forward and that invariably allows the opposition in. If we don’t push forward it invariably ends up with us not scoring, hence the thousand draws of last season.
One of the things that became apparent at the CotD weekends is that I struggle to buy the right players. I get distracted by shiny players and buy them in regardless of position and end up with a squad overbalanced in certain areas, like the current lot, where I have about seven players squabbling over right midfield.
I need to get out and find a forward who can either hold the ball for our pretty decent midfield to get up and support, or can beat people when left isolated and I have to be prepared to shell out some proper money for him, even though I’ve only €110,000 in the bank.
As it stand now, our squad looks like this :
GOALKEEPERS There can be only one and his name is Fashion Pony. He started every game and although he had his wobbles, he was a very solid performer. Everyone was cracking under public pressure at the end and he wasn’t immune, which hurt his final performances, but another season on full time will help with that.
Behind Pony we have 33 year old Illegal Baby who came on as a sub in one game and was mostly awful in the reserves, despite keeping four clean sheets in five games and then 20 year old Chinaman, And How Are You? who spent the season in the under 19s, which tells me nothing, really.
No upgrade needed to the starters, but maybe a younger, solid reserve.
LEFT BACK Socks is the starter and was solid and reliable, although our defence was patchy at times. The cover for Socks comes from the two starting centre halves, both of whom can play left back and the 15-year old Strangler who was our best player by far, in the friendlies and played very well for the reserves, despite having to go to school.
RIGHT BACK Lonely Lizard is only 18 and was the better of the two fullbacks, although he did lose his starting jersey for a while to Seeing it Twice who was given an extended run out, due to his stats, but never showed anything eye-popping.
CENTRE BACK The Rat and Nike Bonce made this position their own and the partnership was very solid, although I wish there was a slider to make them play closer together, as they seemed to allow a lot of forwards in between them for shots on goal.
An injury to any of the starters across the defence would pit me in the hole, as even though the two centrebacks can cover for socks, the player that would have to come in to cover at centrebacks would be a significant downgrade.
LEFT MIDFIELD Jupiter Coastline was consistent, but never really brought that much creativity to the left side. He would do a number of things quite well, but one goal in 34 appearances, (12 as a sub), is not forcing me to pick him.
Luckily his only competition comes from Lightbulb Lunchbreak who’s 30, doesn’t have the stats in his pocket and, although he scored twice in 20 games, (5 as a sub), went missing far too often and only really got a second chance when Coastline started to feel the pressure.
RIGHT MIDFIELD I have about a thousand players for this slot, but the starter most often was Ant. Everyone talks him up and Superleague teams are constantly sniffing around, but despite being a natural MR, he just never quite made his way to a must-have name on the teamsheet.
Lots of other players can play on the right, but the only one who did with any consistency, was Laser Jesus who was played up front more often toward the end of the season. Jesus is supposedly the best crosser in the team, but he went to the school where crossing = hold the ball and then whack, as hard as you can, against the legs of your marker. His crossing often goes to waste because he does it too slowly and never beats the first man with the pass.
CENTRAL MIDFIELD A position at which we’ve been fortunate to have plenty of quality. Following the sale of Circus Jelly, Old Navy became the first name on the team sheet each week, thanks to his solid performances and a decent left foot.
Next to him, we spent the season mixing in Minty Dragon who has a big future at 18 years old, Legless Morning who bagged 11 goals, Experimental Biscuits who showed some real flashes of talent and earlier in the season, Haircut Despot who was solid.
New boy Cuban Cigars looked very good in his one outing for the club and we have some fair prospects in the reserves too.
So, basically, don’t buy any more midfielders, Stu, you pantfish. Unless they play on the left.
FORWARDS A mixed bag. I was very excited about Skirt (ooer) early in the season, but injuries just robbed me of him and when he came back he never attained that unmarkable ability he’d showed early on. He Fell Over bagged 10 goals to be second highest scorer on the team, but we need a forward who gets double that amount. Laser Jesus mixed his time between midfield and forward, which left it to Sieve and Noah’s Takeaway to battle for the second striker spot – a competition they both lost, really.
Youngster Ursa Major looks promising, but failed to impress in his few rare chances in the first team.
This is where we need to find someone. We need a n automatic player who goes out in the number 10 shirt whenever he’s fit. I have the players to adapt to a system that has a big target man, holding the ball or a pacey, flair player who makes his own magic, but I need to find one or other and downgrade everyone I have now, bar maybe Jesus, to backup roles.
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Post by Moo on Aug 7, 2006 8:51:14 GMT
I'm pleased someone else failed in their first season, TBH, but it seemed to be a very frustrating season this one, Stu. Your huge amount of draws is just silly, even me, who has a tactic called "5-1-3-1 Shutdown" didn;t have that many. GL in the next season, some of the relegated teams are stll much better than the two that went up, much better. KUTNCW! (Non-Coffers)
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Post by Sonic on Aug 8, 2006 2:26:31 GMT
I find the amount of draws this particular version produces very frustrating. I also find that this is the only version where being too attacking is more likely to give you a draw, and too much possession will lead to losses.
On the whole, your season was pretty good, but for the draws, you'd have romped the league. Next season will be interesting to see how the team goes.
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Post by coffers on Aug 8, 2006 7:20:40 GMT
I'm with Sonic on that one, the number of draws are unbelievable. Just when you think you have a game wrapped up, the opposition score the most unlikeliest of goals and claim a point, or we do.
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Post by Moo on Aug 8, 2006 8:09:59 GMT
At least I'm honest enough to call him shite, ye butt-munching poofs.
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Post by coffers on Aug 8, 2006 8:14:55 GMT
The only butt I munch is best quality rump steak. So are you calling s1ut a cow? :checkit:
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Post by Moo on Aug 8, 2006 8:26:05 GMT
No, I'm just saying that he likes men licking their lips whilst looking at his ample backside.
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Post by coffers on Aug 8, 2006 8:27:52 GMT
I can't say that I've ever seen his ample backside, but I know someone who has.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 9, 2006 3:01:23 GMT
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 14, 2006 10:13:35 GMT
The Off Season It was of primary importance in the off season that I concentrated on the positions at which we were weak, rather than being distracted by shiny cheap players, who did little but complicate selection, by adding depth at one position. Most of the six players I had labelled for MR could play elsewhere, so I hadn't added a disastrous amount of dead wood to the roster, but it was pretty close.
We desperately needed a forward who had more than one ability. To this point, we'd been concentrating on players with pace, but if the opposition went ahead, they were too easy to shut out, being one trick ponies. So a bit of guile was needed or, failing that, some huge Hartson-planck to fire crosses at.
A defensive midfielder was a must too, to buy some freedom for our other midfielders, who had the potential to be pretty handy.
I also decided this year, that outside of the starting 18, almost everyone else would be dropped to the reserves, to get games. I fired my AssMan, but couldn't find a replacement, so our coach, Ghoulash, would have to take over the second team.
Players In Jerk Hacker - ST Shoutin' Fraulein - MLC Pudding Pop - DC/DM Full Contact Florist - DM An Awful Lot of Tigers - ST Spanish Kiss - GK Fat Controller - DM
Of the bunch, Kiss was a lovely find, released by his club right at the end of July and with good numbers in all of the goalkeeping stats. We were very happy with incumbant Fashion Pony and our Chinese back up had been solid to that point in pre season, but a bit more competition wouldn't hurt.
Tigers was also interesting. Only sixteen, but again, good on the numbers that counted - if he played up to those numbers, he'd be a good find. Especially pleasing as his club would get €80,000 compensation for him if I'd signed him, but agreed to sell him to me for just a 35% sell on clause and no cash.
Pick of the bunch could be Pudding Pop who was a youthy and fringe player for Superleague champions Red Star last season.
Games After losing 0-2 to Superleaguers Vozdovac, we completed a completely uninspiring 0-0 with Hungarians, DAC. From there it was important we built up morale, so it was down to more stiffs than Baz's phone.
A 2-0 over Radnicki (B) was comfortable, if dull, but we followed with a 5-2 over Grafica; a team we'd only beaten 1-0 in last year's pre-season. Another 2-0 followed, over Zvizd, before we tanked our own reserves 3-0 - the first time I've ever beaten my own reserves on FM.
The good news was Pudding Pop looked solid at DM, but also at DC, which was handy, because having scratched around for a DM, it turned out we had one all along, in the shape of Nicotine Patch who had been languishing in our reserves.
Up front, Tigers had grabbed four goals, two assists and two MoM awards in just three pre-season games, one of which he played in for just 19 minutes. I wasn't sure how hard you could work a 16 year old, so I sent an email to Peter Stringfellow for advice.
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Post by Moo on Aug 14, 2006 11:11:16 GMT
A promising start there, s1ut. KUTGW! :thumb:
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Post by Mr Bismarck's Electric Donkey on Aug 14, 2006 21:26:11 GMT
August 2006 We'll start our new season with one of the teams relegated from the Superleague last year, as Smederevo come into Celarevo.
The team will be missing a couple of regular starters, as Nike Bonce nurses a broken foot and new forward An Awful Lot of Tigers will have to wait for his debut as he twists his knee in training.
To start, we'll have :
GK : Spanish Kiss DL : The Rat DC : Pudding Pop DC : Hidden Saucepan DR : Lonely Lizard DM : Nicotine Patch ML : Jupiter Coastline MC : Old Navy MR : Ant ST : Sieve ST : He Fell Over
We play things cagey through the first half, but gain confidence as the game goes on and changes of tempo and passing style seem to be causing the visitors problems.
With 20 minutes to go, we find the breakthrough, as Sieve and He Fell Over work a beautiful combination, playing a one two out on the left, before playing another on the edge of the box, that frees Sieve - he looks up and plants the ball, far post, onto Fell Over's head for 1-0.
With 10 minutes to run, Sieve gets his reward, as Smederevo lose the ball at a corner and our pacey forward is away onto the through ball to round the keeper and make it 2-0.
The former Superleaguers mount a late comeback, with a goal in the 91st minute, but it only comes after Spanish Kiss has made an absolutely blinding save at the far post, the ball rolling along the line for a simple tap in. We'll take the points though, thank you very much.
A simple 2-0 over Posovac follows to open our cup campaign, with goals for Sieve and Legless Morning, but what follows is almost enough to make me delete the save and go and firebomb SpInGs offices.
We're away to Srem and although they're heavy favourites, our formation and style is working perfectly, negating their attack. They have 65% of the play by halftime, but trail 1-0 to a goal from Nicotine Patch.
To start the second half I crank the tempo and switch from mostly short passing to long over the top and it catches them out, allowing Legless Morning to belt home one of his trademark 25 yarders for 2-0.
We're comfortable from there. Srem still dominate possession, but they have no chances... until they get two penalties in the last five minutes, that is. Our defence has been handling their attack all day, they have exactly zero shots on goal, but they need a pair of goals to grab a draw, so that's exactly what they're given.
Two penalties, two goals, two points lost. I save the game and switch it off.
I return later for the third preliminary qualifying cup round thingy and put a routine 1-0 over non league outfit Takovo - Sieve scores again, with a scorcher that the keeper gets his hands to, but it then dings in off the inside of the post.
We're back on the road again in the league, with a trip to Vlasina, another team fancied to hand us a hiding, but in circumstances remarkably similar to the Srem game, we go 2-0 up, thanks to He Fell Over in the 23rd minute and Sieve who sees a goal disallowed for a very dubious offside, but then waits behind He Fell Over to ram home from six yards, after his fellow forward gets to the goalline and pulls the ball back.
Penalties would no doubt look a bit obvious, so instead the AI waits until I bring on my last sub and then kicks fullback Lonely Lizard into the doctor's room, leaving me to defend the lead with ten men. Vlasina score, but with my hand poised over the delete button, they can't find a second.
The season has third-to-fifth written all over it.
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