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Post by Moo on Aug 17, 2006 8:10:43 GMT
If that's the case, Coffers, I would definitely consider it a decent defeat, if you see what I mean. KUTLBNLSW! (Losing, But Not Like Sunderland )
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Post by coffers on Aug 17, 2006 12:51:56 GMT
Got a shed-load of games in yesterday and as a catch up exercise I'm just going to give a quick game score and scorers update: CSK Pivara 0 vs 0 Vozdovac, LeagueVozdovac were bottom with 3 points, we humped them and came away with a point. It was a dreadful game. :moop: CSK Pivara 1 vs 1 AEK Athens, EURO Cup - Group Stages - Game 2AEK dominated throughout and opened the scoring on 54, they walked the ball trough us as if we weren't there and scored from 17 yards. On 67 Urgent Camel's cross deflected off his marker and Book Mark volleyed a lovely equaliser from 16 yards out. We'd hoped for a sneaky win but were happy to take a point and the £22k that went with it. CSK Pivara 3 vs 0 Obilic, LeagueAt last a return to wins in the league, Obilic gave us a hard time early on but on 32 Book Mark took a short pass from One In A Bed Sex Romp and drove in from outside the area. A minute after the break Obilic were reduced to 10 men after a defender got a second yellow and they crumbled soon after. On 61 Damn Buster volleyed in his first club goal from a half clearance from 17 yards. On 69 Nano Technology hit a free kick into the right corner of the net from 18 yards. An easy enough win in the end. Vozdovac 0 vs 3 CSK Pivara, S&M Cup Qtr FinalVozdovac were demolished in this revenge mission. Capstan Full Strength opened on 37, taking a flick on from New Age Christian he drove against the keeper and mopped up the rebound. On 44 The Sacroiliac touched a clearance into the path of T' Hat Box, e hit an angled drive, first time, into the far corner of the net. We were coasting. The final goal came on 83 minutes, New Tricks curled a shot around the keeper from 8 yards after being put in by Our Kid. An easy win and we are drawn against Buducnost in the Semi Finals. St Etienne 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, EURO Cup - Group Stage - Game 3Yet another tough game, it was tougher than I expected and another I had hoped for a sneaky win. Yet again I was happy to take a point at the end. St Etienne dominated until they had a man sent off on 59. They had opened the scoring on 35 when Tonde pounced on a parried header, from close range. Our equaliser came on 69 when One In A Bed Sex Romp played a through ball to Book Mark who ran into the area, drew the keeper and sent him the wrong way before driving in from 12 yards. St Etienne hit 23 shots, 11 on target, we managed about half of that score, so you can see why I was happy with a point. CSK Pivara 2 vs 0 Borac, League We had 58% of the possession in this game but had the same number of shots as Borac. The half time 0-0 deadlock was finally broken on 49 with a dodgy T' Hat Box penalty, after Arms & legs had been tackled heavily. Two Minutes later, T' Hat Box got tackle in, in the middle of the park and humped the ball down-field, One In A Bed Sex Romp stormed through and smashed the ball under the advancing keeper. The game went back to a knockabout after that and neither side threatened to increase the scoreline. CSK Pivara 3 vs 1 Slavia Prague, EURO Cup - Group Stages - Game 4Prague topped the group with 6 points and we desperately needed to win the game to stand any chance of progression with a 3rd place finish, so I went for the same formation that I use when we play Partizan. To everyone's surprise it actually worked and Prague were taken apart. Chave's Story started the party when he whacked home from 10 yards after being fed by Urgent Camel. On 30 Arm & Legs sent Book Mark scampering away down the left, he dribbled into the area before coolly slotting home under the keeper. Scratch mark added a 3rd on 59 with a 25 yard curler and Prague looked down and out, though they managed a consolation on 63 after Levitating Ski Run spilled a shot to a lurking striker. We have now played all or EURO Cup group games and sit in 3rd place with 5 points, AEK (2 points) still have to play St Etienne (1 point) at home, and that game will decide who goes through, us or AEK. I think AEK need to win by more than 2 goals to go through, anything less and we should go through unless it's a high scoring 2 goal win, 4-2 or higher. A score of 3-1 would put the cat among the pigeons as that would leave us with identical stats, and we drew against them. The League Table
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Post by Moo on Aug 17, 2006 13:00:54 GMT
Fingers crossed for a St Etienne win then.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 18, 2006 4:49:09 GMT
That league table still looks tasty, and your European jaunt must have been a frustrating debut. 3-1 would indeed leave things very intersting, but I'll also go for the St. Etienne win too
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Post by coffers on Aug 18, 2006 10:33:04 GMT
CSK Pivara 3 vs 0 Mladost Apatin, LeagueMladost invariably give us a hard game, usually resulting in a draw, except this time they didn't and we humped them. The first goal came after only 8 minutes when T' Hat Box smashed in a Chave's Story knock on from 12 yards. We dominated play throughout the game without adding to the score until the 82nd minute when One In A Bed Sex Romp drew the keeper as he entered the area and passed across the face of the goal for T ' Hat Box to drive the ball into the unguarded goal. Three minutes later New Age Christian collected the ball on the edge of the area, from a corner, his first time shot flew through a melee of players and bulged the net to send the fans home happy. The Master was delighted with this result but I'm less than happy with the number of fans that bother to turn out to watch a Championship challenging team, we're still getting less than 1000 per home game and we are running away with the division. Red Star 1 vs 0 CSK Pivara, League The less said about this game the better, we were hammered in a way I have never witnessed before. Red Star had 63% of the possession and more than 20 shots at goal, we had 3 none on target. Yet for all their possession their only goal came after 5 minutes, from the penalty spot. Urgent Camel handled the ball when there was no one within 5 yards of him, for that he got roasted at the break, even though by that time he had been stretchered off with a broken leg. That match takes us into the winter break but we had some good news in mid-week when St Etienne drew with AEK to send us into the knockout stages of the EURO Cup courtesy of our 3rd place Group finish. We will meet Vff Stuttgart in the next round. The League Table after 17 games:
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Post by Moo on Aug 18, 2006 10:56:49 GMT
Spawny get.
KUTROOCTSYITTNSW! (Relying On Other Clubs To Sneak You In To The Next Stage :thumb:)
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Post by Sonic on Aug 21, 2006 0:39:44 GMT
I think I know why your not getting the fans, you winning too much.
KUTWAFRSSYW Winning apart from Red Star smashing you :humb:
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Post by coffers on Aug 21, 2006 8:14:06 GMT
The fan base tends to increase after the mid season break, well it did last year. It's just annoying that we only get a full house when a big team comes to town, and yet we are running away with the league. There's no chance of getting a ground extension then.
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Post by coffers on Aug 21, 2006 9:38:18 GMT
Players In:
Former El Pres DC, £170k from FC Vaslui. Gossip Calysso ST, £200k from Dnister.
Players Out: Underarm vasaline £7k to Becej Vic's NAsal Spray £26k to Zeleznicar (L).
Staff In: Alexander The Gonk Coach from Karpaty.
Staff Out: Soup Dragon mutual termination costing £2k.
Mid Season Break Friendlies:
Dubotica 0 vs 2 CSK Pivara An easy enough win without any exersion. Gossip Calypso on 55 and Chave's Story on 69.
Mladost (P) 0 vs 0 CSK Pivara Pathetic, borong in every sense of the word.
Rad 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara We allowed them 56% of the possession but they didn't do anything with it. Capstan Full Strength opened on 81. Simian Wake scored an own goal two minutes later.
CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Zenith St Petersburg Gossip Calypso scored after 32 minutes, apart from that it was a dreadfull game, the two teams didn;t even muster double figure attempts at goal put together.
Araz 0 vs 3 CSK Pivara All the goals came ina first half romp; One in a Bed Sex Romp on 10, The Sacroiliac on 36 and Arms & Legs on 45.
We've got agreements to sign 2 players on Bosmans in June/July and are negotiating with one other.
The second half of the season starts next, opening with the 1st leg of the EURO Cup game against Stuttgart......
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Post by coffers on Aug 21, 2006 13:10:10 GMT
CSK Pivara 1 vs 2 Vff Stuttgart, EURO Cup - 1st Knockout Round - 1st LegWe were 2-0 down in the first 20 minutes as Stuttgart started strongly and tore us apart. The first goal came on 12 minutes when both Simian Wake and Levitating Ski Run failed to deal with a cross from the right and Swartz got in to head the opener. On 18, Aarnensen curled a 23 yard shot into the right corner of the net, Broken Down Angel missed a header that could have cleared the shot. Tactics were changed and we started to exert more influence on the game. On 41, Urgent Camel crossed to the near post and Chave's Story glanced a header across the keeper into the left corner to give us hope at the break. Unfortunately the hope didn't develop into anything, we battled hard but couldn't make another breakthrough. the media were impressed with the battling performance but I was gutted to lose the game. Jedinstvo (BP) 1 vs 4 CSK Pivara, LeagueJedinstvo got the short straw as we took out our EURO Cup frustrations on them, We were one up after only 50 seconds, Urgent Camel turned and half volleyed a half clearance from 22 yards, through a melee of players to open the scoring. On 32 our defence went to sleep and allowed Jedinstvo to equalise with a 8 yard header against the run of play. Not to worry we were ahead again on 36 when T' Hat Box headed in a deep Urgent Camel cross at the far post. On 64 Broken Gavel crossed deep from the left and Urgent Camel got behind everyone to head in at the far post from 6 yards. On 89, Levitating Ski Run hoofed the ball over everyone deep into the Jedinstvo half, One In A Bed Sex Romp was onto it in a flash and drilled the ball low inside the near post, with the keeper stranded. Everyone was delighted with the way that game went, especially the directors. Vff Stuttgart 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, EURO Cup - 1st Knockout Round - 2nd Leg, (Lost 3-2 on aggregate)We didn't expect too much from this game but in the end we were unlucky to lose the tie. Stuttgart as expected started strongly and increased their aggregate lead on 20, when Fuchs collected inside the 6 yard box and made slack marking pay a harsh price. From that minute on we threw caution to the wind and went for it. Stuttgart maintained the balance of possession but we carved out some dangerous chances on the break. We finally pulled a goal back on 61 when Book Mark's shot was turned away by the keeper only for T' Hat Box to smash in the rebound. Stuttgart were reeling by the end of the game as we piled on more and more pressure, but we just couldn't find that extra spark to send the game into extra time. I told the players that it had been a brave effort, if only I could kick some brains into our defenders we would be capable of winning games like this. Smederevo 0 vs 2 CSK Pivara, LeagueThere was air of cup hangover in our play throughout this game, it was as if the players didn't want to be here. Smederevo were reduced to 10 men after 20 minutes when Gossip Calypso was held back when through on goal. It took another 9 minutes for us to find the net when New Age Christian, curled a lovely shot into the right hand corner of the net from 18 yards, it came second in the Goal Of The Round contest. Still we struggled to make much more of an impact as Smederevo worked hard to find a way back. Smederevo were reduced to 9 men on 49 as Book Mark was held back on a jinking run towards a certain goal, and still we struggled. We finally put daylight between us and Smederevo on 61 when Chave's Story smashed a ball against the keeper and Book Mark got to the rebound first. Even after that we were put on the back foot as Smederevo battled gamely to find a way back into a game they should have been dead and buried. CSK Pivara 3 vs 2 Partizan, LeagueWe played our 3-3-4 fromation for this one, we may not have beaten Partizan with it yet, but they haven't won either and a draw will do for me. We got off to a good start when T' Hat Box played a ball towards the edge of the area, Urgent camel took advantage of the defence's preoccupation with Chave's Story to nip ahead of everyone and place the ball beyond the keepers reach into the right corner of the net. We held the lead until the 55 minute when Partizan finally walked through our defence and blasted a close range shot under our keeper. New Age Christian put us back in the lead on 61 with a direct free-kick from the edge of the 'D'. On 71, Partizan won and scored a penalty after The Sacroiliac made a clumsy challenge in the area. As the game neared the end I was preparing an icy blast at certain idiots for dropping points but, on 89 a lovely ball over the top from Arms & Legs was met by Chave's Story he took one touch and drilled the ball home from 8 yards to kill off any dreams Partizan had of taking any points from the game. Zemun 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, LeagueThis was quite a dire game with chances appearing few and far between. We started so well with a goal on 6, Chave's Story collected an Urgent Camel cross at the near post and smashed it across the keeper just inside the left post. Zemun equalised on 24 when Simian Wake gave the ball away near the edge of our area and left us exposed at the back, Zemun moved the ball quickly into the area and made us pay dearly for Simian's stupid mistake. I was not a happy man at the end of this game, but overall a draw was about all either side deserved. The League Table After 21 Games:
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Post by coffers on Aug 21, 2006 20:03:44 GMT
CSK Pivara 1 vs 1 Buducnost, LeagueAgainst relegation threatened Buducnost it was a game we should have won easily, but as usual we played like a pack of pillocks. Buducnost took the lead on 15 with a route 1 goal, a long free kick, headed over the defence left our keeper totally exposed, Dimitrijevic ran in and slotted under our keeper. We never looked like equalising in the first period and consequently didn't. A half time rollocking lifted things a little and finally on 58 a long headed clearance from Nano Technology was picked up on the left by Book mark he quickly played a angled ball through the defence for Chave's Story to sprint clear and blast in from 22 yards. That was about it, we looked and acted clueless. CSK Pivara 2 vs 0 OFK Beograd, LeagueBack to our normal 4-1-3-2 line up for this one and we struggled again, OFK always looked the most dangerous, but two first half goals ensured we took all the points. The first came after 10 minutes as Nano Technology blasted a 25 yard free-kick against the wall, it took a wicked deflection and wrong footed the keeper. The second came with three minutes of the half to play, A long ball down the left was picked up by Arms & Leg, his cross was met with a glancing header by Gossip Calypso the keeper pushed the ball to his left and Chave's Story pounced to double our lead. OFK were cursing as they left the ground, they had had as much of the play but had twice as many shots as us. Quality Counts though.
Buducnost 0 vs 3 CSK Pivara, S&M Cup Semi Final Memories of our last game against this shower were soon erased with a classy attacking display. On 8, Urgent Camel dribbled the ball out of our area and took it to the halfway line. He then looked up and played the ball over the remaining defenders for Book Mark to run onto and finish from the edge of the area. Despite continuous pressure the other goals didn't come until late in the game. New Tricks got the second on 83 after being put clear by a Gossip Calypso flick on. A minute later T' Hat Box latched onto a great ball from New Age Christian and drove home from the 18 yard line. Job Done!
In the other Semi Final Red Star beat Novi Sad on penalties after the tie ended 0-0.
Vozdovac 1 vs 4 CSK Pivara, League Gossip calypso opened the scoring on 4 blasting in a Freeview Channel 19 knock down from close range. Vozdovac equalised on 14 with a route one goal, ball through the middle our defence stood and watched and made it easy for them. On 32 The Sacroiliac played a wonderful ball through for Gossip Calypso to finish from 6 yards. On 38, Freeview Channel 19 blasted a half clearance home from 18 yards. If Vozdovac thought we would ease up in the second half they were wrong, on 64 a long Nano Technology clearance was picked up by Gossip Calypso he outstripped the defence and chipped a beautiful shot over the advancing keeper for his hat-trick.
We were now in a position where 3 wins from our last 9 games would seal the title.
Obilic 1 vs 1 CSK Pivara, League You can always trust Obilic to upset our apple cart. Having said that we took an early lead on 12 when Freeview Channel 19 pounced on a poor first touch by a Obilic DC, he got clear of the defence and waltzed around the keeper to slot into the empty net. That was the signal fro Obilic to pulverise us relentlessly. We held out until the 54th minute when they waltzed through the defence and Pantic finished from 6 yards. They continued the pounding but we held out for an undeserved point.
Other games went our way but we still needed 3 wins to guarantee the title.
CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Red Star, League Red Star had the evil eye on us over the last two seasons, so I prepared a new formation aimed at stiffling there quick incisive play and it worked with trumps. Although we conceded ground to them, our quick breaks set them panicking on a number of occasions. On 54 Chave's Story charged into the area and was impeded by a nifty piece of shirt pulling. Freeview Channel 19 blasted home from the spot and we eased to victory. We had our formation fro this years cup final.
The Red Star manager was sacked immediately following the game, I didn't even get a chance to mock him.
Borac 0 vs 3 CSK Pivara, League Top versus nd, and a win for us would seal the Championship, anything else would prolong the agony. We expected Borac to give us a hard time they did in the first half but we slowly ground them down. On 62 Book Mark was sent on for an out of sorts Gossip Calypso and he made an immediate impact. Withing 5 minutes he had opened the scoring, Chave's Story crossed to the far post, the keeper came and missed the cross and Book Mark headed into the empty net. Three minutes later, T' Hat Box laid the ball into the path of the advancing Book Mark two touches and the ball was in the net for his second. Borac looked dead, but we weren't finished. With 56 seconds of normal time remaining, Book Mark had his hat-trick smashing in a 25 yard free-kick and we had our first Superleague title.
Everybody connoted with Pivara were delirious with joy, the press started quoting Alan Hanson's quote about winning nothing with kids and claiming we had disproved it as our squad had an average age of 22 years. was delighted but pointed out that now was the time to build for next season. I was also proud to find out that I had entered the S&M Hall of Fame in 9th position. The squad was over the moon about the comments I had made about the team in the press.
The Historic League Table After 27 Games:
PS. The reserves also won there Division but they had 3 games left to play.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 22, 2006 1:46:31 GMT
Nice, only one win an a huge pile of points difference as well. Europe wasn't too big a disappointment, and you'll be in it again which could again improve your training facilities, and possibly get enough money in place to improve your stadium. That and bring in a high calibre of player too :thumb:
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Post by coffers on Aug 22, 2006 7:46:37 GMT
The training facilities improvement is on the cards anyway from the money made last season. Requests for ground improvements get a 'We don't need them' response, and given our attendances, we only got 1107 for the visit of Partizan, I can see why the board won't entertain them. The only time we get full houses is when the big teams from Europe visit, Stuttgart was one occurence this season.
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Post by coffers on Aug 22, 2006 9:44:02 GMT
CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Jedinstvo (BP), league With the league title won, I expected a drop-off in our performance that usually accompanies title wins and we got it, allowing Jedinstvo 54% of the possession, they also had a better shot count, but only just. Having said that we made one of our shots count they didn't. On 38 a deep cross from Urgent camel was collected by Book Mark and the young striker thumped the ball home from 8 yards after his first touch fell nicely for him. I was disappointed that only 504 people turned out to cheer on the new S&M League Champions. Pathetic!
Mladost Appatin 1 vs 2 CSK Pivara, League I tried out the Red Star formation in another practice run against Mladost's usual strange lineup and it worked but only just. Book Mark opened on 13, drilling low from 8 yards after collecting a Chave's Story lay off. Mladost were back on level terms on 40 after our usual defensive lapse let in Drobnjak to round our keeper and drill in from 12 yards. The game had draw written all over it, until three minutes into injury time Freeview Channel 19 floated a free-kick over the Mladost defence and Gossip Calypso got behind and headed in unopposed from 6 yards. I told the Mladost manager that he was going to have a tough time avoiding relegation after the game, he didn't take to kindly to the comments, but didn't respond to them either.
CSK Pivara 4 vs 1 Smederevo, League or such a high scoring win we had remarkably little of the play, Smederevo logged 52% possession and a higher shot count. The Sacroiliac registered his first Pivara goal on 18 when he got ahead of the keeper to head in a Book Mark cross from 4 yards. The game went quiet as we sat back and contained Smederevo's attempts at a comeback. Everything changed on 58 when Urgent Camel went to pick up a clearance and shot on the turn, the shot took a deflection and sent the keeper the wrong way, but we weren't complaining as we went 2-0 up. Six minutes later, Sad Vampire sent a long ball over the defence, Book Mark raced clear and drilled low and hard into the left corner of the net from 20 yards. On 73, Book Mark crashed in a 25 yard direct free-kick for number 4. Smederevo claimed a consolation on 82 when our keeper came for a cross but Djerdic got ahead of him to head into the now empty net. The game was nice preparation for the S&M Cup Final which would be our next game.
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Post by coffers on Aug 22, 2006 10:07:58 GMT
The S&M Cup Final:
CSK Pivara 4 vs 0 Red Star This was a remarkable game, we set out in our special defensive formation and Red Star pulled a flanker on us, lining up a 5-3-2 formation, the new manager had obviously taken exception to their previous favourite formation. It threw us for a little while but tight marking of 3 key players and we started to settle well. The fireworks really started when on 39, Chave's Story dribbled past the last man and with only the keeper to beat was pulled back by Popovic just outside the area. Popovic walked and Book Mark thumped the free-kick into the net. Four minutes later and Chave's Story placed the ball across the keeper to double our lead, after Urgent Camel had crossed low to the near post. That was a nice cushion to take into the break. Red Star were dead and buried and their performance in the second half showed it. We bossed the game and Chave's Story added his second from 14 yards after Broken Down Angel had played the ball nicely into his path. A minute later and Broken Down Angel sent Book Mark clear a couple of jinks and a drilled low shot and we were 4-0 up, Book Mark had his 20th goal of the season. The fireworks were completed on 82 when Djokovic was sent off for pushing Sad Vampire in the chest. Red Star were showing their frustration and a couple more were booked in the last few minutes for chest pushing.
Post match ecstasy doesn't come into it, the streets were awash with ale, wine, spirits and high spirits and the Master personally thanked me for bringing undreamed of success to the club. A League and Cup double in only my third season there, not only that but we had wellied the team that had probably given us the most problems since our elevation to the top division. Nice.
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Post by Moo on Aug 22, 2006 13:48:57 GMT
European run was excellent, Coffers, nicely done. The league was never in doubt. Love the humping of Red Star in the final though, quality.
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Post by coffers on Aug 22, 2006 14:42:25 GMT
To finish off the season: Partizan 2 vs 3 CSK Pivara, LeaguePartizan caned us and opened on 26 when Levitating Ski Run spilled a Salami cross to a lurking striker. We were playing the Cup Final formation and not doing it very well. However hope shined eternal and we equalised withing four minutes of their goal; Yak Tart to Urgent Camel, a quick pass to Book Mark who layed off to Chave's Story his cheeky chip put us back in the game. That lasted 10 minutes, Partizan charged down the wing our defence once again capitulated all too easily and Salami stole in at the back post to give them the lead at the break. Harsh words were bandied and eventually after substitutions on 61 we started to play a bit, Chave's Story hammered a shot at straight at the keeper on 68 it rebounded out and Gossip Calypso smacked in from a tight angle. Once again the game was draw bound until 2 minutes from time, Yak Tart put a big headed clearance on the ball that cleared everyone, Chave's Story ran in behind and volleyed before it touched the ground, leaving the goalie dumbfounded. We'd done them again at the death. CSK Pivara 1 vs 0 Zemun, LeagueA pretty dreadful end of season game with both side having nothing left to play for. Zemun deserved a point at least but didn't get it, as they fell to an 84th minute Damn Buster penalty after Gossip Calypso was pushed in the box. 704 people turned up to celebrate our last home game of the season. They don't deserve this team. Buducnost 3 vs 3 CSK Pivara, LeagueWhy do we always have trouble against this shower. OK, I was playing a fair few fringe players but is there any need for them to turn in a shocking performance and do a Boro? On 13 minutes our defence went completely AWOL and allowed Buducnost to walk through it and open the scoring from 8 yards. A change to direct balls improved our play a bit and on 36, New Age Christian played a ball into the area for New Tricks to do what Buducnost did to us. At least we were level for the break. Except we weren't, on 39 Chave's Story headed on a clearance from Sad Vampire, New Tricks pounced and were were a goal up against the run of play. On 61 minutes Chave's Story got a run down the right wing and crossed for New Tricks to glance in a header for his hat trick. Things looked even better when Buducnost were reduced to 10 men for a cynical foul on Chave's Story, but that was when things went downhill fast. Buducnost redoubled their effort, we went to sleep. From the resulting free-kick they cleared and broke and just kept going until they scored. Still we still had the lead and a man extra, well we only had the man extra on 75 as Buducnost waltzed through the middle as if we weren't there to score the easiest of goals, I think our DC's were bird watching at the time. We were also reduced to 10 man at that point as Book Mark was led off i injured and we'd used all our subs. We hung on for the point but there were some angry accusation flung around in the aftermath. That game completed a run of 19 games without defeat which is a new club record. End of Season Awards:Urgent Camel 2nd in the Player of The Season Award SuperLeague Team Of The Season: Levitating Ski Run (GK), Nano Technology (DC), Scratch Mark (DL), Urgent Camel (MR), Freeview Channel 19 (MC), T' Hat Box [ML). Freeview Channel 19 2nd in Young Player Of The Season Award Goal Of The Season: T' Hat Box's curling shot from the edge of the area on 29th August against Jedinstvo (BP). Red Star made an offer of £1M for Simian Wake, who wants to join a bigger club. I asked for £5M plus 30%, that put the dampers on it. They then came back and asked how much I wanted for him really, so I said "I've told you once, but since you're a bunch of cretins try £5M plus 35% plus £1M after 10 games plus £1M after 1 international game. Now fook off unless you are serious". They fooked off, but then came back and asked about Nano Technology and Scratch Mark, they got a very similar replies and dropped their interest like a stone. Having said that both players have only 1 year left on their contracts and are refusing to extend, so I may have to drop the asking price a bit or risk losing them on a Bosman. Final League Table:
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Post by coffers on Aug 22, 2006 22:25:52 GMT
Player Stat's 2007/2008
| Pkd | Name | Apps | Gls | Ast | MoM | Pas | Tck | Drb | Sh T | Av Rat| | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | GK | Levitating Ski Run | 44 | - | 1 | 3 | 68% | - | - | - | 7.39 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | Urgent Camel | 42 (2) | 7 | 13 | 5 | 69% | 2.96 | 3.24 | 50% | 7.52 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | Nano Technology | 40 (1) | 2 | 4 | 4 | 76% | 3.02 | 0.23 | 18% | 7.41 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | Chave's Story | 38 | 20 | 13 | 4 | 65% | 0.48 | 2.81 | 64% | 7.16 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | Freeview Channel 19 | 36 | 9 | 4 | 1 | 76% | 2.47 | 0.78 | 35% | 7.47 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DL | Scratch Mark | 33 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 77% | 2.29 | 0.90 | - | 7.30 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DR | Simian Wake | 31 (1) | - | 3 | - | 69% | 2.30 | 1.31 | - | 7.41 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S11 | Carpet Slipper | 26 (4) | - | - | 1 | 75% | 2.32 | 0.50 | - | 7.03 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DMC | The Sacroiliac | 25 (1) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 78% | 3.40 | 0.73 | 48% | 7.31 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | T' Hat Box | 23 (15) | 10 | 10 | 1 | 68% | 2.58 | 2.36 | 51% | 7.16 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | Sad Vampire | 23 (5) | - | 1 | 1 | 72% | 3.42 | 0.88 | - | 7.39 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S4 | Arms & Legs | 21 (5) | - | 5 | 2 | 67% | 1.85 | 2.30 | - | 7.23 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S2 | Yak Tart | 21 (4) | - | 1 | - | 78% | 2.42 | 0.13 | - | 7.44 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | Book Mark | 18 (16) | 20 | 7 | 2 | 68% | 0.25 | 2.98 | 68% | 7.26 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S7 | Capstan Full Strength | 12 (10) | 6 | 3 | 2 | 67% | 0.34 | 3.15 | 61% | 7.18 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S6 | Gossip Calypso | 11 (7) | 5 | 4 | 1 | 66% | 0.79 | 2.76 | 48% | 7.06 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S12 | One In A Bed Sex Romp | 9 (13) | 8 | 3 | - | 64% | 0.59 | 2.06 | 48% | 6.86 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S5 | New Age Christian | 9 (11) | 3 | 5 | - | 75% | 1.54 | 1.46 | 50% | 6.90 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S3 | Broken Down Angel | 8 (8) | - | 2 | 1 | 76% | 2.88 | - | - | 6.94 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S8 | Armani Reject | 7 (4) | 3 | 1 | - | 75% | 1.25 | 1.50 | 41% | 6.73 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S9 | Nouvelle Cuisine | 4 | - | - | - | 63% | 3.44 | 1.59 | - | 6.75 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S10 | New Tricks | 3 (20) | 7 | 3 | 1 | 69% | 0.24 | 2.55 | 62% | 6.96 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S1 | Rogue Patch | 3 (1) | - | - | - | 63% | - | - | - | 6.75 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Damn Buster | 3 | 2 | 3 | - | 71% | 1.05 | 2.46 | - | 7.67 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Broken Gavel | 3 | - | 1 | - | 72% | 5.42 | 2.89 | - | 7.33 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Nuclear Toblerone | 2 (3) | 1 | 2 | - | 71% | 1.48 | 1.11 | 71% | 7.00 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Former El Pres | 2 (1) | - | - | 1 | 67% | 3.20 | - | - | 7.33 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Unclear Physics | 2 (1) | - | - | - | 75% | 3.20 | 1.20 | - | 6.67 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Bovine Glue | 2 | - | - | - | 73% | 1.58 | 4.74 | - | 7.00 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Everybody Salsa | 1 (2) | - | - | - | 70% | 2.16 | 1.44 | - | 7.00 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Modern Decoder | 1 | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | 7.00 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Cling Film | 1 | - | - | - | 81% | 3.00 | 1.00 | - | 7.00 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Radical Sneeze | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
Player Overview | Pkd | Inf | Name | Position | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Modern Decoder | GK | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S1 | Hol | Rogue Patch | GK | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | GK | Hol | Levitating Ski Run | GK | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S2 | Hol | Yak Tart | SW, D C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | Hol | Sad Vampire | D RC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Unclear Physics | D LC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S11 | Hol | Carpet Slipper | D LC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Cling Film | D L | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Former El Pres | D C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S3 | Hol | Broken Down Angel | D C, DM | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC | Hol | Nano Technology | D C, DM | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DR | Hol | Simian Wake | D/WB R | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S9 | Hol | Nouvelle Cuisine | D/WB R | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Broken Gavel | D/M L | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DL | Hol | Scratch Mark | D/M LC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DMC | Hol | The Sacroiliac | DM | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | Hol | Freeview Channel 19 | DM | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Radical Sneeze | DM | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S5 | Hol | New Age Christian | M RC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Everybody Salsa | M LC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | Hol | T' Hat Box | AM RL | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Damn Buster | AM RC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MC | Hol | Urgent Camel | AM RC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Bovine Glue | AM LC | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S4 | Hol | Arms & Legs | AM LC, F C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S8 | Hol | Armani Reject | AM C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S7 | Hol | Capstan Full Strength | AM/F C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | Hol | Book Mark | AM/F C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | - | Hol | Nuclear Toblerone | AM/F C | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S6 | Hol | Gossip Calypso | ST | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S10 | Hol | New Tricks | ST | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | S12 | Hol | One In A Bed Sex Romp | ST | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | FC | Hol | Chave's Story | ST | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
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Post by Sonic on Aug 22, 2006 23:13:36 GMT
Wow, that's a great way to top an excellent season. Now if you can only get those dummys to resign, you'll be laughing.
:thumb:
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Post by coffers on Aug 23, 2006 7:29:52 GMT
Close Season reports:
Players In: Extinct Bird: 22yo 6'0" Czech GK, released by Slovan Liberec, picked up as a hot prospect on a free. Angel Japes: 22yo 5'11" Serb AMRC picked up on a Bosman from Red Star. AC Adaptor: 19yo 5'10" Serb AM/FC, a bosman from Partizan, the fans are uneasy about him, believing he could disrupt team harmony. Looking at his stats now he could be a mistake, but hey ho he cost nothing.
Players Out: Anonymous Colon left on a free to Loznica. Ah Sole and Lacerated Herb were allowed to leave when their contracts ran out. 7 of last years Academy graduates were released on free transfers.
Staff In: Anatomical Weight Assistant Manager signed from Terek for £65k. Leopard Leotard Coach, signed from Benkovski for £1k. Lost Sock Coach, signed from Levski Sofia for £55k. Gurning For Sausages Coach signed from Fenerbahce for £85k.
Staff Out Ass-man Vaseline Sandwich, Coaches: Jovial Vodka, His Mum Was Serious, Home Made Yak and Attic Attack.
The staff changes ensured that we had 4 star training in all categories except goalkeeping which is now 5 star.
We have 4 contract rebels on the books at the moment all of them played key roles in the last season, so we will need to probably find replacements in the very near future, they are: Nano Tecnology, Scratch Mark, Simian Wake and Book Mark. This could play havoc with out defence next season and Book Mark has established himself as a key figure in attack.
There are irons in the fire as far as transfer negotiations go, but as Gareth Southgate knows, that is all they are. As for the coming season, The Master has given me £2.3 million to play with but he expects us to achieve a European Qualification placing this time around.
Twenty One youngsters graduated from the Newly finished academy this season. Our training Facilities are now considered to be the equal of the best to be found anywhere. A number of friendlies have been arranged, oh and Italy Beat England on penalties in EURO 2008 after the final finished 1-1 at the end of extra time.
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Post by Sonic on Aug 23, 2006 7:43:47 GMT
Bastard, you now have slightly better overall coaches than I have, with the 5 star GK :cab:
Nice going on the training pitch upgrade :thumb:
21? :humb:
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Post by coffers on Aug 23, 2006 8:02:27 GMT
The other 5 Star coaches are out of our reach, they're on £36k per month, I managed to get the goalkeeping coach for £6750 per month.
The Sacroiliac is being touted as the next Dragan Jokic who seems to be some famous Serb DM, he's currenty at Deportivo De La Coruna, game wise that is, after all The real players option is switched off in this game.
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Post by coffers on Aug 23, 2006 15:47:33 GMT
The Pre-Season Report
Players In: Yo Bro a 19yo 5'11" Belarus DM/MLC joined us from Dinamo Minsk for £250k. Radar Love a 17yo 6'0" Serb DM joins after impressing in a trial, he was released by Mornar so he cost us nothing and goes straight into the U19's.
SC Balashaika 0 vs 7 CSK Pivara, Friendly Russian non-league side were no match for Pivara and gave us a nice easy start to the friendly program, we were 4-0 up at half time and it could have been more. GOAL SCORERS: Book Mark (10), AC Adaptor (23), Gossip calypso (32), og (45), The Sacroiliac (51), Angel Japes (61) and New Tricks (68).
Player In: Set Square 19yo 5' 11" Serb DRC, joined from Vodjvodina for £80k, possible replacement for Simian Wake, if the rebel refuses to sign up for another 3 years.
Alla 2 vs 4 CSK Pivara, Friendly Another Russian non-league side were put to the sword and looked easy meat until the last 10 minutes when they staged a comeback, but we dug in and held on for victory. GOAL SCORERS: Capstan Full Strength (15), Chave's Story (33 & 48), ALLA (81 & 89) and Armani Reject (90).
Kaliakra 2 vs 0 CSK Pivara, Friendly A shock defeat against a side in the Bulgarian East 'B' Group. We battered them for the entire game and they had 2 on target shots and scored from both of them. They scored on 55 and from the spot on 86, Scratch Mark was sent off as a result of the last incident.
Belasitsa 1 vs 6 CSK Pivara, Friendly Another romp in the park for Pivara, this time the opposition were from the Bulgarian Western 'B' Group. All our goals came in the first half, Belasitsa played a little better in the 2nd period and managed to pull one back. GOAL SCORERS: Book Mark (20, Chave's Story (3), Freeview Channel 19 (16pen, 19pen & 43), Everybody Salsa (31), Belasitsa (57).
Player In: Bubbly Ant 19yo 5' 10" Croatian ST, joined from Slaven Belupo for £500k, possible replacement for Book Mark, if the contract rebel refuses to sign up for another 3 years. Can kick with either foot.
FC Vaslui 0 vs 2 CSK Pivara, Friendly It wasn't as tough a game as the scoreline suggests, we gave the Romanian non-league side a battering but struggled to fin a way past their keeper. Both goals came in the second half and Vaslui had a man sent off on 73. GOAL SCORERS: Capstan Full Strength (53) & Nuclear Toblerone (90).
FC Cotatea Suceava 0 vs 2 CSK Pivara, Friendly Another easy workout marred by a lack of goals, this time against a 2nd Division Romanian side. both goals came in the 1st half. GOAL SCORERS: Book Mark (7) & og (30).
CSK Pivara 7 vs 0 Sporting Lisbon, Friendly I know it was only a friendly but the way the big time Portuguese club capitulated took us all by surprise. Unfortunately there was a bad side to the game, Freeview Channel 19 was carried off injured on 23 and was expected to miss the first 2 games of the season. We were 5-0 up at the break and a 21/14 shot count against their 3/0 ration tells the story. GOAL SCORERS: Book Mark (9 & 27), Chave's Story (22 & 47pen), Urgent Camel (23), T' Hat Box (36) and Gossip Calypso (90).
CSK Pivara 3 vs 0 FK Begej Zitiste, Friendly This was arranged in case we needed a morale booster after the Sporting game, we didn't so I sent out a squad made up entirely of players who wouldn't expect to feature much during the coming season. Begej are a Serbian non league side and were brushed aside with ease. How we didn't score more than 3 goals with a 35/15 shot count is beyond my reasoning. Begej managed just one off target shot all game. Begej had a man sent off on 36 and we had 60% of the possession. GOAL SCORERS: New Tricks (20), One In A Bed Sex Romp (23) and Yo Bro (87).
As the season was about to start I was informed that 3 players were unavailable to me for a number of games as they had been selected for their U23 international squads playing in the Olympic games. Two of them would have been definite starters: Simian Wake and The Sacroiliac, the other was a fringe player: Armani Reject.
The Season Begins in the next thrilling installment........
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Post by Sonic on Aug 23, 2006 23:23:45 GMT
That's a decent pre-season there, which bodes well for the season. Looks like you've recruited well too.
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Post by coffers on Aug 24, 2006 8:35:32 GMT
The 2008/2009 Season Begins Here
CSK Pivara 2 vs 0 Smederevo, League The first competitive game and we give the opposition too much possession, thankfully they don't do anything other than knock the ball around a bit. On 34 Yak Tart is sent off for a second laughable bookable offence and I expect us to struggle even further. But we up the tempo a gear and on 45 Yo Bro scores from the spot on his debut after Chave's Story was fouled in the area. We keep the momentum going in the second half and on 71, Arms & Legs sends Chave's Story away, the striker raced towards the penalty area and drilled a low shot between the keeper and the near left hand post to settle the game. Yak got a verbal blast and a one weeks wages fine for his idiocy, thankfully it didn't cost us the game.
Spartak Moscow 1 vs 0 CSK Pivara, Champions Cup, 3rd Qualifying Round - 1st Leg I was a bit peeved at losing this one, we more than matched our more famous opponents and even had 53% of the possession but we fell to a sucker punch 3 minutes from time, Moscow broke, the ball was sent to the edge of the area and as our keeper covered his angles, the ball was played left cutting the keeper out of the equation, an empty net was quickly filled. :moop: I feel confident that we can overhaul the deficit with a bit of luck in the 2nd leg.
A new scout is quickly recruited so that we have one covering the Olympics, we can't pass up a chance of finding future talent, so in comes Nickleodean, we also take the opportunity to recruit a new Physio Ticked Off his arrival triggers the release of Android with a payoff of £7k.
CSK Pivara 1 vs 1 Borac. League Another disappointment we should be beating teams like this at home, but we failed miserably to impose ourselves on the game. Our goal came 6 minutes before the break, Yo Bro smashed a Urgent Camel cross against the keeper and T' Hat Box followed up to net an easy chance. Borac's equaliser came on 74, they took a quick free kick whilst our defence were taking time out for a fag and to discuss the weather, three of their players were totally unmarked at the far side of the penalty area, the first one collected the cross and smashed in from 16 yards. Our defence reacted about two minutes later. Livid I was, livid. To be honest a draw was about all we deserved, but to give away a sloppy goal like that is unforgivable.
OFK Beograd 1 vs 3 CSK Pivara, League Another game where we allowed the opposition to keep more possession of the ball than should have been comfortable, but we did win. The first goal came on 29, Yo Bro volleyed a clearance from 25 yards straight into the net. OFK pushed us hard after that and the deserved equaliser came on 51, a far post cross from the right was half volleyed in from an angle. Once again the scorer was left totally unattended by our defence. However we had the lead again six minutes later, Urgent Camel chipped the ball into the D where it was hit first time by Freeview Channel 19 leaving the keeper scratching his balls. On 71, Urgent Camel played Gossip Calypso in and the young striker drilled low between the keeper and the right hand post to emphatically stamp our superiority on the game.
Napredak 0 vs 2 CSK Pivara, League The newly promoted side made things hard for us, chasing down every ball and really deserved a point out of the game, but we shook them with a sixth minute strike, T' Hat Box flicked on a ball in the middle of the park and Book Mark had a clear run to goal and finished easily. The final nail in Napredak's coffin didn't arrive until the 90th minute, Yo Bro put the ball between two defenders and AC Adaptor collected just inside the area, he took one touch and hit a low shot to the near post, the keeper got a hand to it but the shot was too strong and he could only push it onto the post and into the net. Three hard won points.
CSK Pivara 2 vs 0 Spartak Moscow (aet), Champions Cup - 3rd Qualifying Round - 2nd Leg (Won 2-1 on aggregate) The game was every bit as hard as the first game but this time we had 56% of the possession as Moscow defended deep. We pulled the tie back on level terms on 40 when Yo Bro's forward ball to the edge of the 6 yard box was met by Chave's Story's head and diverted across the keeper. The tie was finely balanced for the entire game after that as both sides looked for a winner. It didn't come in normal time, so the game went to extra time. I sent on all three subs at th start of extra time and the extra energy caught out Spartak. One minute 30 seconds after the restart Nouvelle Cuisine sent a deep cross to the edge of the area, substitute Bubbly Ant controlled well and got behind the defence to lump the ball into the right corner of the net. I'd like to say that we eased to victory after that but Spartak threw everything at us to get the tie back, but we held out if somewhat nervously. Still it's money time as we collect £2.7M for advancing to the Group stages.
We are drawn in Group G for the Champions Cup Group Stages, other teams in our group are Real Madrid, Inter Milan and Schalke, so that's easy then :moop:
Stain Chariot asks first team football and is told he's not a cat in hells chance, so he asks for a transfer and it's granted, but no one wants him.
Serbia and Montenegro U23's beat Holland 2-0 in the Olympic Games Final. Simian Wake and Scratch Mark finally sign new deals which means Book Mark and Nano Technology are left as the remaining contract rebels.
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